I received this from a friend. It felt good enough to share. While some things are funny/controversial/offensive to some, a good portion of them are based in truth.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
THINGS BLACK PEOPLE SHOULD NOT DO

1. Visit a tanning booth. I do not care how light you are, tanning is not an activity listed as acceptable for African Americans. If you are that light, buy bronzing creme.

2. Outline your lips with black lipliner. You are not white. Your lips are big enough already. There is no need to call attention
to them.

3. Leave the house without using lotion. Ashy is not a synonym of sexy.

4. Skip a day...Your body chemistry is different than other nationalities. Use deodorant. Funky is only good if it's a bass line in a song.

5. Have three or more babymamas/daddies. It's not cute and it's confusing. Ladies, if you do, at least give them all your last name. The
mailman and the folks at school will be extremely confused otherwise.

6. Bring back the Jheri curl. Its hot, it's messy, it's not cute.

7. Call your family gathering a picnic. You got the email, you know where the word came from. Besides, if you haven't been picked by now, it ain't gonna happen at your family reunion. And if it does, it's illegal in most states and causes the offspring to have unnecessary and unsightly physical and mental defects.

8. Drive a car that is worth more than your house.

9. Talk on your cell phone while you're riding on the bus, subway or trolley. Walking down the street is O.K.

10. Wear leather in the summer. You are making me sweat just looking at you.

11. Put on cologne without showering, bathing or washing up first. You stink. Refer to #4 to determine the acceptable types of funk.

12. Believe the myth that all black folks can dance. Remember your uncle at your sister's wedding? That's how you look, just 20 years
younger.

13. Confuse a hustle with a job. Your hustle is what you do in addition to your job. Going to the studio is not a job. In fact, it's not even
a hustle unless you get paid.

14. Walk around half-naked outside. We don't want to see it. Have you ever wondered why your wife turns the lights off before you get in the bed? They don't even want to see it.

15. Laugh when your children cuss. It's not cute.

16. Let anyone make you feel bad for being "too black" whether in skin complexion, culture or attitude. Remember the words of Ossie Davis in Purlie: "I find, in being black, a thing of beauty, a joy."

17. Accuse someone of selling out simply because they've become successful. Gospel artists and jazz musicians like nice things
just like you and if you could get paid to drink Sprite on camera or sell a million records, you would too. Kirk Franklin and CeCe Winans aren't sellouts, they're successful. Learn the difference and then handle YOUR business.

18. Neglect the older folks in your life. They have plenty good wisdom. Besides, you'll be trying to jump in the grave with them when
they die.

19. Refer to straight hair as good hair. If it covers your head, its good hair. You can be happy nappy. And if you aren't, go visit my
uncle's salon. Tell him I sent you, he might hook you up.

20. Go to Bedside Baptist Church. In other words, get up on Sunday morning, get dressed and get your worship on. God deserves it and you need a word whether you know it or not.

21. Pass on ridiculous emails and swear up in down that they are true. Your cousin did not see Tommy Hilfiger on Oprah dissing black folks, Proctor and Gamble is not owned by Satan, no one is going to steal your kidney if you visit Mexico, and Bill Gates is not going to give you diddley. Most emails passed on to you are full of lies. Fortunately, this is not one of them.