National Mental Health Care Week

I know it's not nice to make fun of those who have mental problems but this made me smile. So I apologize in advance for laughing but if you laugh too, that makes you just as bad.
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This coming week is National Mental Health Care week.

Please post this new menu near the phone for the Voice Mail service on our switchboard has changed. This new menu allows for faster response to your special needs.

Mental Hospital Phone Menu

Please select from the following menu options:

• If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
• If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
• If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
• If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.
• If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
• If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
• If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
• If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
• If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
• If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
• If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.
• If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
• If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.

You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one unstable person to show you care.

Well, I did my part. it’s your turn now.