Friday, June 03, 2005
Thursday, June 02, 2005
Sisters
I got this email from a friend. I'm posting it here because it's true. I hope you enjoy.
-------
A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot humid day, drinking iced tea and visiting with her Mother.
As they talked about life, about marriage, about the responsibilities of life and the obligations of adulthood, the mother clinked the ice cubes in her glass thoughtfully and turned a clear, sober glance upon her daughter.
"Don't forget your Sisters," she advised, swirling the tea leaves to the bottom of her glass." They'll be more important as you get older. No matter how much you love your husband, no matter how much you love the children you may have, you are still going to need Sisters. Remember to go places with them now and then; do things with them. And remember that "Sisters" also means your girlfriends, your daughters, and other women relatives too. You'll need other women. Women always do."
"What a funny piece of advice!" the young woman thought. 'Haven't I just gotten married? Haven't I just joined the couple-world? I'm now a married woman, for goodness sake! A grownup. Surely my husband and the family we may start will be all I need to make my life worthwhile! But she listened to her Mother.
She kept contact with her Sisters and made more women friends each year.
As the years tumbled by, one after another, she gradually came to understand that her Mom really knew what she was talking about.
As time and nature work their changes and their mysteries upon a woman, Sisters are the mainstays of her life. After almost 50 years of living in this world, here is what I've learned:
Times passes.
Life happens.
Distance separates.
Children grow up.
Love waxes and wanes.
Hearts break.
Careers end.
Jobs come and go.
Parents die.
Colleagues forget favors.
Men don't call when they say they will.
BUT Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are between you. A Sister is never farther away than needing her can reach.
When you have to walk that lonesome valley, and you have to walk it for yourself, your Sisters will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley's end. Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you. Or come in and carry you out.
My mother, sister, sister-in-laws, aunts, and "girlfriends", bless my life! The world wouldn't be the same without them, and neither would I.
When we began this adventure called womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we would need each other. Every day, we need each other still.
-------
A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot humid day, drinking iced tea and visiting with her Mother.
As they talked about life, about marriage, about the responsibilities of life and the obligations of adulthood, the mother clinked the ice cubes in her glass thoughtfully and turned a clear, sober glance upon her daughter.
"Don't forget your Sisters," she advised, swirling the tea leaves to the bottom of her glass." They'll be more important as you get older. No matter how much you love your husband, no matter how much you love the children you may have, you are still going to need Sisters. Remember to go places with them now and then; do things with them. And remember that "Sisters" also means your girlfriends, your daughters, and other women relatives too. You'll need other women. Women always do."
"What a funny piece of advice!" the young woman thought. 'Haven't I just gotten married? Haven't I just joined the couple-world? I'm now a married woman, for goodness sake! A grownup. Surely my husband and the family we may start will be all I need to make my life worthwhile! But she listened to her Mother.
She kept contact with her Sisters and made more women friends each year.
As the years tumbled by, one after another, she gradually came to understand that her Mom really knew what she was talking about.
As time and nature work their changes and their mysteries upon a woman, Sisters are the mainstays of her life. After almost 50 years of living in this world, here is what I've learned:
Times passes.
Life happens.
Distance separates.
Children grow up.
Love waxes and wanes.
Hearts break.
Careers end.
Jobs come and go.
Parents die.
Colleagues forget favors.
Men don't call when they say they will.
BUT Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are between you. A Sister is never farther away than needing her can reach.
When you have to walk that lonesome valley, and you have to walk it for yourself, your Sisters will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley's end. Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you. Or come in and carry you out.
My mother, sister, sister-in-laws, aunts, and "girlfriends", bless my life! The world wouldn't be the same without them, and neither would I.
When we began this adventure called womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we would need each other. Every day, we need each other still.
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Summer Shoe Pledge
It's that time of year - summertime. When women are exposing their toes to the world, whether they should be doing it or not. Please read this public service announcement before you do so.
Please raise your big toes and repeat after me:
As a member of the Cute Girl Sisterhood, I pledge to follow the rules when I wear sandals and other open-toe shoes.
I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang over and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs. And the sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.
I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free. I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.
I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow. I will shave the hairs off my big toe.
I won't wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, coworker, mother, sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it there.
If a strap breaks, I won't duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back into place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or toss it.
I will not live in corn denial, rather I will lean on my good friend Dr. Scholl's if my feet need him.
I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low, low price of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids' sizes. This is out of concern for my safety, and the safety of others. No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat and I would hate to take someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle.
I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell and begin to look like Vienna sausages.
If I have been privy to the magic that is Foot Soap, I will share that knowledge and experience with the non-initiated.
I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend/sister/coworker when she asks me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell her that her toes are as long as my fingers and no sandal makes creepy feet look good.
This is my summer shoe pledge to you.
Please raise your big toes and repeat after me:
As a member of the Cute Girl Sisterhood, I pledge to follow the rules when I wear sandals and other open-toe shoes.
I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang over and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs. And the sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.
I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free. I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.
I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow. I will shave the hairs off my big toe.
I won't wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, coworker, mother, sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it there.
If a strap breaks, I won't duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back into place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or toss it.
I will not live in corn denial, rather I will lean on my good friend Dr. Scholl's if my feet need him.
I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low, low price of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids' sizes. This is out of concern for my safety, and the safety of others. No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat and I would hate to take someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle.
I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell and begin to look like Vienna sausages.
If I have been privy to the magic that is Foot Soap, I will share that knowledge and experience with the non-initiated.
I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend/sister/coworker when she asks me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell her that her toes are as long as my fingers and no sandal makes creepy feet look good.
This is my summer shoe pledge to you.
Week 121
Unconscious Mutterings
- Crowd:: Pleaser
- Hamburger:: Helper
- Choker:: Necklace
- Lights:: Camera, Action
- Tinsel:: Town
- Testament:: Books of the bible
- Best part of the day:: Waking up
- Election:: Rigged
- Clarinet:: Woodwind
- Dead Sea:: Scrolls
Monday, May 16, 2005
Happy Birthday to Me
Today marks an auspicious occasion...my birthday. I officially enter the 30s around 8:00 pm today and will be 31. I guess I could be sad about being 31 except for a few things...
- I don't look 31
- MD is 5 years older than me so I will always have someone to be younger than
- Brothaman is 4 years younger than me but I look younger than him
- The women in my family age gracefully
Thursday, May 12, 2005
Why Parents Go Gray
The boss of a big company who needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers, dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper,
"Hello."
"Is your daddy home?" he asked.
"Yes," whispered the small voice
"May I talk with him?"
The child whispered, "No."
Surprised, and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your mommy there?"
"Yes."
"May I talk with her?"
Again the small voice whispered, "No."
Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?"
"Yes, " whispered the child, "a policeman."
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked,
"May I speak with the policeman?"
"No he's busy" whispered the child.
"Busy doing what?"
"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman", came the whispered answer.
Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the earpiece on the phone the boss asked, "What is that noise?"
"A hello-copper" answered the whispering voice.
"What is going on there?" asked the boss, now alarmed.
In an awed whispering voice the child answered, "The search team just landed the hello-copper."
Alarmed, concerned and even more then a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"
Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled giggle:
"ME"
"Hello."
"Is your daddy home?" he asked.
"Yes," whispered the small voice
"May I talk with him?"
The child whispered, "No."
Surprised, and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your mommy there?"
"Yes."
"May I talk with her?"
Again the small voice whispered, "No."
Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?"
"Yes, " whispered the child, "a policeman."
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked,
"May I speak with the policeman?"
"No he's busy" whispered the child.
"Busy doing what?"
"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman", came the whispered answer.
Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the earpiece on the phone the boss asked, "What is that noise?"
"A hello-copper" answered the whispering voice.
"What is going on there?" asked the boss, now alarmed.
In an awed whispering voice the child answered, "The search team just landed the hello-copper."
Alarmed, concerned and even more then a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"
Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled giggle:
"ME"
Monday, May 09, 2005
Week 118
Here you go with Unconscious Mutterings
- Android:: R2D2
- Revenge:: Best Served Cold
- Knight:: of the Round Table
- Stranded:: Lost
- Weakness:: Cheesecake
- Greed:: Deadly Sin
- Walter:: Kronkite
- Dense:: Hard-Headed
- Sheep:: God's Own
- Propane:: Grilling
Thursday, May 05, 2005
8 weeks and counting
It’s officially eight weeks since I had Squirt. Being the mother of 3 has its challenges but so far so good. So far so good…who am I kidding? As you can tell by my unkymood, I am zombified. Lack of sleep + breastfeeding + 3 kids at home all the time + not eating well = zombified. Despite all that, everyone keeps telling me how good I look. I will say that breastfeeding has helped me shed most of the pregnancy weight. Based on my weigh-in today I am 10 pounds heavier than where I started out. However the dark circles under my eyes must be invisible to everyone else but me. We’ve had a lot going on in the past two months so let’s start at the beginning.
A New House
As of February 23, MD and I own a house. The house we were hoping to get we got and closed on in record time. As of February 26 we had bought our washer and dryer. Consumer Reports came in handy for that. As of February 28 we had moved into said house. Yes, closed on Wednesday and moved on Monday. We used Golan Moving and Storage. I HIGHLY recommend them to anyone moving anytime soon. They were professional and quick and worth the money. So within a week we were living in the suburbs of Chicago.
This particular move is amazing. First of all MD swore he would never live in the suburbs yet when we started looking for a house – seriously looking not just contemplating it – he suggested moving to the suburbs. I wisely kept my mouth shut and asked where. Imagine my surprise when he wanted to move to my hometown. Basically the deciding factor was money goes farther in the suburbs. You get more house out here than in the city. It’s a sad state of affairs but the truth. Considering we needed more space this was very important. We now have a 4BR/2.5BA house with a 2 car garage. It’s not a big house from the outside but it’s laid out well. We have a separate living room and dining room, an eat-in kitchen with wood floors and family room. The yard needs work but that’s because no one took care of it. The yard is definitely something we can tackle together.
We still have boxes to unpack but we make progress everyday. WE HAVE A HOUSE!
A New Baby
We moved into the new house on February 28 and Squirt made his appearance on March 9. As noted he was born at 7:44 pm. We had our regularly scheduled appointment that afternoon and the doctor sent us over to the hospital to be induced. We went home to get my bag. By the time we got back to the hospital around 6 – 6:30 the contractions were coming regularly. I guess Squirt decided he didn’t want to be evicted. This is the 3rd time I had completely natural labor. I feel like superwoman. I breathed through the contractions and when I was at the point where I wanted to ask for drugs I decided to push. I pushed once and he crowned. I pushed again and the head was out. 3rd push and he squirted out – literally. If the doctor hadn’t caught him, he would have fallen on the ground. 3 pushes and no stitches. I was overjoyed. All the nurses were impressed. I was the hero in the maternity ward. We got to go home on Friday – to our new house. I’ll never get tired of saying that.
A New School
Munchkin started kindergarten at her new school and LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVES IT. Every day she comes home and I ask her how school was and she says Great. They have a play at school on Friday and she knew her lines from day 1.
We’ve had a lot of new beginnings in the past few months. Case in point – Munchkin and Squirm just started swim lessons on Tuesday. As if we didn’t have enough to do we have swim lessons, right? MD is loving it. I’m just tired. Pray for us.
A New House
As of February 23, MD and I own a house. The house we were hoping to get we got and closed on in record time. As of February 26 we had bought our washer and dryer. Consumer Reports came in handy for that. As of February 28 we had moved into said house. Yes, closed on Wednesday and moved on Monday. We used Golan Moving and Storage. I HIGHLY recommend them to anyone moving anytime soon. They were professional and quick and worth the money. So within a week we were living in the suburbs of Chicago.
This particular move is amazing. First of all MD swore he would never live in the suburbs yet when we started looking for a house – seriously looking not just contemplating it – he suggested moving to the suburbs. I wisely kept my mouth shut and asked where. Imagine my surprise when he wanted to move to my hometown. Basically the deciding factor was money goes farther in the suburbs. You get more house out here than in the city. It’s a sad state of affairs but the truth. Considering we needed more space this was very important. We now have a 4BR/2.5BA house with a 2 car garage. It’s not a big house from the outside but it’s laid out well. We have a separate living room and dining room, an eat-in kitchen with wood floors and family room. The yard needs work but that’s because no one took care of it. The yard is definitely something we can tackle together.
We still have boxes to unpack but we make progress everyday. WE HAVE A HOUSE!
A New Baby
We moved into the new house on February 28 and Squirt made his appearance on March 9. As noted he was born at 7:44 pm. We had our regularly scheduled appointment that afternoon and the doctor sent us over to the hospital to be induced. We went home to get my bag. By the time we got back to the hospital around 6 – 6:30 the contractions were coming regularly. I guess Squirt decided he didn’t want to be evicted. This is the 3rd time I had completely natural labor. I feel like superwoman. I breathed through the contractions and when I was at the point where I wanted to ask for drugs I decided to push. I pushed once and he crowned. I pushed again and the head was out. 3rd push and he squirted out – literally. If the doctor hadn’t caught him, he would have fallen on the ground. 3 pushes and no stitches. I was overjoyed. All the nurses were impressed. I was the hero in the maternity ward. We got to go home on Friday – to our new house. I’ll never get tired of saying that.
A New School
Munchkin started kindergarten at her new school and LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVES IT. Every day she comes home and I ask her how school was and she says Great. They have a play at school on Friday and she knew her lines from day 1.
We’ve had a lot of new beginnings in the past few months. Case in point – Munchkin and Squirm just started swim lessons on Tuesday. As if we didn’t have enough to do we have swim lessons, right? MD is loving it. I’m just tired. Pray for us.
Monday, April 11, 2005
Week 114
It's been a minute since I did Unconscious Mutterings but my brain could use the workout so here we go...
- Horrendous:: Terrible
- Home video:: Not always America's Funniest
- What a girl wants:: Peace and Quiet
- Grounded:: Go to your room
- Trusting:: Blind
- Simplistic:: Easy
- Buzz:: Gossip
- Balcony:: Romeo oh Romeo
- Roar:: Lion's Call
- Hooker:: Economy Call Girl
Friday, April 08, 2005
PMS
The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands!
This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!
DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate
DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Wow, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate
DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's my paycheck.
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate
DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate
DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't over-do it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRA SAFE: Have some more chocolate.
13 Things PMS Stands For
1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweatpants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff
And my favorite one...
13. Potential Murder Suspect
Pass this on to all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a good laugh or men who need a warning!! And remember: Money talks....But Chocolate sings.
"Life may not be the party we hoped for...but while we are here we might as well dance!"
This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!
DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate
DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Wow, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate
DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's my paycheck.
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate
DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate
DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't over-do it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRA SAFE: Have some more chocolate.
13 Things PMS Stands For
1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweatpants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff
And my favorite one...
13. Potential Murder Suspect
Pass this on to all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a good laugh or men who need a warning!! And remember: Money talks....But Chocolate sings.
"Life may not be the party we hoped for...but while we are here we might as well dance!"
Thursday, March 31, 2005
Deep Thought
Many of us think that happiness is found in our circumstances. Our happiness is not found in circumstances, but in ourselves. it is not something we see, like a rainbow, or feel, like the heat of a fire. happiness is something we are. Soren Kierkegaard writes, "If an Arab in the desert were suddenly to discover a spring in his tent, and so would always be able to have water in abundance, how fortunate he would consider himself; so too, when a man who...is always turned toward the outside, thinking that his happiness lies outside him, finally turns inward and discovers that the source is within him." Look no further, God is the source of our happiness. Our happiness is right where we are.
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
Why Women Are Crabby
Considering I just had a baby, this email was sooooo on time. Enjoy!!
-----------------
We started to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find that anything that came in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurt so bad it brought us to tears. So came the ridiculously uncomfortable training bra contraption that the boys in school would snap until we had calluses on our backs.
Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we bloated, we cramped, we got the hormone crankies, had to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.
Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) was having sex for the first time which was about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up with his little cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.
Then it' was off to Motherhood where we learned to live on dry crackers and water for a few months so we didn't spend the entire day leaning over Brother John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learned to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we were preparing to have Rosemary's Baby.
Our once flat bellies looked like we swallowed a watermelon whole and we pee'd our pants every time we sneezed. When the big moment arrived, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we had to waddle, with our big cartoon feet, moaning in pain all the way to the ER.
Then it was huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, "Please stop screaming, Mrs. HearMeRoar. Calm down and push. Just one more good push (more like 10)," warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the ***** (and hubby) square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10lb bowling ball through a keyhole.
After that, it was time to raise those angels only to find that when all that "cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morphed into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.
Then come their teen years. Need I say more?
When the kids are almost grown, we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our early 40's - while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday.
So we progress into the grand finale: "The Menopause," the Grandmother of all womanhood. It's either take HRT and chance cancer in those now seasoned "buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a hog in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that moves.
Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men when men get off so easy INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks...
So, while I love being a woman, "Womanhood" would make the Great Gandhi a tad crabby. Women are the "weaker sex"? Yeah right. Bite me.
-----------------
We started to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find that anything that came in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurt so bad it brought us to tears. So came the ridiculously uncomfortable training bra contraption that the boys in school would snap until we had calluses on our backs.
Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we bloated, we cramped, we got the hormone crankies, had to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.
Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) was having sex for the first time which was about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up with his little cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.
Then it' was off to Motherhood where we learned to live on dry crackers and water for a few months so we didn't spend the entire day leaning over Brother John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learned to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we were preparing to have Rosemary's Baby.
Our once flat bellies looked like we swallowed a watermelon whole and we pee'd our pants every time we sneezed. When the big moment arrived, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we had to waddle, with our big cartoon feet, moaning in pain all the way to the ER.
Then it was huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, "Please stop screaming, Mrs. HearMeRoar. Calm down and push. Just one more good push (more like 10)," warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the ***** (and hubby) square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10lb bowling ball through a keyhole.
After that, it was time to raise those angels only to find that when all that "cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morphed into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.
Then come their teen years. Need I say more?
When the kids are almost grown, we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our early 40's - while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday.
So we progress into the grand finale: "The Menopause," the Grandmother of all womanhood. It's either take HRT and chance cancer in those now seasoned "buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a hog in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that moves.
Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men when men get off so easy INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks...
So, while I love being a woman, "Womanhood" would make the Great Gandhi a tad crabby. Women are the "weaker sex"? Yeah right. Bite me.
Saturday, March 12, 2005
It's a boy...
MD and I are happy to announce that Squirt (more on this nickname later) made his appearance on Wednesday, March 9 at 7:44 pm. He weighed in at 7 lbs. 6 oz. and was 20 inches long. Everyone is doing well and resting at home. Big sisters Munchkin and Squirm say thanks to everyone for their kind words and well-wishes.
Friday, March 04, 2005
Consider This...
The most destructive habit......................................Worry
The greatest Joy......................................Giving
The greatest loss......................................Loss of self-respect
The most satisfying work......................................Helping others
The ugliest personality trait......................................Selfishness
The most endangered species......................................Dedicated leaders
Our greatest natural resource......................................Our youth
The greatest "shot in the arm"......................................Encouragement
The greatest problem to overcome......................................Fear
The most effective sleeping pill......................................Peace of mind
The most crippling failure disease......................................Excuses
The most powerful force in life......................................Love
The most dangerous pariah......................................A gossiper
The world's most incredible computer......................................The brain
The worst thing to be without......................................Hope
The deadliest weapon......................................The tongue
The two most power-filled words......................................"I Can"
The greatest asset......................................Faith
The most worthless emotion......................................Self-pity
The most beautiful attire......................................SMILE!
The most prized possession......................................Integrity
The most powerful channel of communication...............................Prayer
The most contagious spirit.......................................Enthusiasm
Everyone needs this list to live by...pass it along!!! This is one you'll like. Just click on the word "smile" below and get ready to enjoy.
SMILE
The greatest Joy......................................Giving
The greatest loss......................................Loss of self-respect
The most satisfying work......................................Helping others
The ugliest personality trait......................................Selfishness
The most endangered species......................................Dedicated leaders
Our greatest natural resource......................................Our youth
The greatest "shot in the arm"......................................Encouragement
The greatest problem to overcome......................................Fear
The most effective sleeping pill......................................Peace of mind
The most crippling failure disease......................................Excuses
The most powerful force in life......................................Love
The most dangerous pariah......................................A gossiper
The world's most incredible computer......................................The brain
The worst thing to be without......................................Hope
The deadliest weapon......................................The tongue
The two most power-filled words......................................"I Can"
The greatest asset......................................Faith
The most worthless emotion......................................Self-pity
The most beautiful attire......................................SMILE!
The most prized possession......................................Integrity
The most powerful channel of communication...............................Prayer
The most contagious spirit.......................................Enthusiasm
Everyone needs this list to live by...pass it along!!! This is one you'll like. Just click on the word "smile" below and get ready to enjoy.
SMILE
Thursday, February 17, 2005
A Resume to be Envious Of
The Resume of Jesus Christ
Address: Ephesians 1:20
Phone: Romans 10:13
Website: The Bible. Keywords: Christ, Lord, Savior and Jesus
Hello. My name is Jesus -The Christ. Many call me Lord! I've sent you my resume because I'm seeking the top management position in your heart. Please consider my accomplishments as set forth in my resume.
Qualifications
I founded the earth and established the heavens, (See Proverbs 3:19)
I formed man from the dust of the ground, (See Genesis 2:7)
I breathed into man the breath of life, (See Genesis 2:7)
I redeemed man from the curse of the law, (See Galatians 3:13)
The blessings of the Abrahamic Covenant comes upon your life through me, (See Galatians 3:14)
Occupational Background
I've only had one employer, (See Luke 2:49).
I've never been tardy, absent, disobedient, slothful or disrespectful.
My employer has nothing but rave reviews for me, (See Matthew 3:15-17)
Skills Work Experiences
Some of my skills and work experiences include: empowering the poor to be poor no more, healing the brokenhearted, setting the captives free, healing the sick, restoring sight to the blind and setting at liberty them that are bruised, (See Luke 4:18).
I am a Wonderful Counselor, (See Isaiah 9:6). People who listen to me shall dwell safely and shall not fear evil, (See Proverbs 1:33).
Most importantly, I have the authority, ability and power to cleanse you of your sins, (See I John 1:7-9)
Educational Background
I encompass the entire breadth and length of knowledge, wisdom and understanding, (See Proverbs 2:6).
In me are hid all of the treasures of wisdom and knowledge, (See Colossians 2:3).
My Word is so powerful; it has been described as being a lamp unto your feet and a lamp unto your path, (See Psalms 119:105).
I can even tell you all of the secrets of your heart, (See Psalms 44:21).
Major Accomplishments
I was an active participant in the greatest Summit Meeting of all times, (See Genesis 1:26).
I laid down my life so that you may live, (See II Corinthians 5:15).
I defeated the archenemy of God and mankind and made a show of them openly, (See Colossians 2:15).
I've miraculously fed the poor, healed the sick and raised the dead!
There are many more major accomplishments, too many to mention here.
You can read them on my website, which is located at: www dot - the BIBLE. You don't need an Internet connection or computer to access my website.
References
Believers and followers worldwide will testify to my divine healings, salvation, deliverance, miracles, restoration and supernatural guidance
In Summation
Now that you've read my resume, I'm confident that I'm the only candidate uniquely qualified to fill this vital position in your heart.
In summation, I will properly direct your paths, (See Proverbs 3:5-6), and lead you into everlasting life, (See John 6:47). When can I start? Time is of the essence, (See Hebrews 3:15).
Send this resume to everyone you know, you never know who may have an opening! Thanks for your help and may God bless you!
Address: Ephesians 1:20
Phone: Romans 10:13
Website: The Bible. Keywords: Christ, Lord, Savior and Jesus
Hello. My name is Jesus -The Christ. Many call me Lord! I've sent you my resume because I'm seeking the top management position in your heart. Please consider my accomplishments as set forth in my resume.
Qualifications
I founded the earth and established the heavens, (See Proverbs 3:19)
I formed man from the dust of the ground, (See Genesis 2:7)
I breathed into man the breath of life, (See Genesis 2:7)
I redeemed man from the curse of the law, (See Galatians 3:13)
The blessings of the Abrahamic Covenant comes upon your life through me, (See Galatians 3:14)
Occupational Background
I've only had one employer, (See Luke 2:49).
I've never been tardy, absent, disobedient, slothful or disrespectful.
My employer has nothing but rave reviews for me, (See Matthew 3:15-17)
Skills Work Experiences
Some of my skills and work experiences include: empowering the poor to be poor no more, healing the brokenhearted, setting the captives free, healing the sick, restoring sight to the blind and setting at liberty them that are bruised, (See Luke 4:18).
I am a Wonderful Counselor, (See Isaiah 9:6). People who listen to me shall dwell safely and shall not fear evil, (See Proverbs 1:33).
Most importantly, I have the authority, ability and power to cleanse you of your sins, (See I John 1:7-9)
Educational Background
I encompass the entire breadth and length of knowledge, wisdom and understanding, (See Proverbs 2:6).
In me are hid all of the treasures of wisdom and knowledge, (See Colossians 2:3).
My Word is so powerful; it has been described as being a lamp unto your feet and a lamp unto your path, (See Psalms 119:105).
I can even tell you all of the secrets of your heart, (See Psalms 44:21).
Major Accomplishments
I was an active participant in the greatest Summit Meeting of all times, (See Genesis 1:26).
I laid down my life so that you may live, (See II Corinthians 5:15).
I defeated the archenemy of God and mankind and made a show of them openly, (See Colossians 2:15).
I've miraculously fed the poor, healed the sick and raised the dead!
There are many more major accomplishments, too many to mention here.
You can read them on my website, which is located at: www dot - the BIBLE. You don't need an Internet connection or computer to access my website.
References
Believers and followers worldwide will testify to my divine healings, salvation, deliverance, miracles, restoration and supernatural guidance
In Summation
Now that you've read my resume, I'm confident that I'm the only candidate uniquely qualified to fill this vital position in your heart.
In summation, I will properly direct your paths, (See Proverbs 3:5-6), and lead you into everlasting life, (See John 6:47). When can I start? Time is of the essence, (See Hebrews 3:15).
Send this resume to everyone you know, you never know who may have an opening! Thanks for your help and may God bless you!
Be Careful What You Ask For...
Isn't this something your mother always tells you? You don't think much of it unless you are asking for something and DON'T get it. Considering how MD and I have been truly pursuing buying our house (yes - we think of it as our house because it is) this email was right on time. God always puts things in our lives at the right time for the right reason. For that alone, this little piece is quite interesting. Enjoy!
------
Be careful what you ask for, you just might get it: Your words, your dreams, and your thoughts have power to create conditions in your life.
What you speak about, you can bring about. If you keep saying you can't stand your job, you might lose your job.
If you keep saying you can't stand your body, your body can become sick.
If you keep saying you can't stand your car, your car could be stolen or just stop operating.
If you keep saying you're always broke, guess what? you'll always be broke.
If you keep saying you can't trust a man or trust a woman, you will always find someone in your life to hurt and betray you.
If you keep saying you can't find a job, you will remain unemployed.
If you keep saying you can't find someone to love you or believe in you, your very thoughts will attract more experiences to confirm your beliefs.
Turn your thoughts and conversations around to be more positive and power packed with faith, hope, love and action.
Don't be afraid to believe that you can have what you want and deserve.
Watch your "Thoughts," they become words;
Watch your "Words," they become actions;
Watch your "Actions," they become habits;
Watch your "Habits," they become character;
Watch your "Character", for it becomes your "Destiny"
GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY!
Celebrate Life....There is only One per Customer.
In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths" - Proverbs 3:6
------
Be careful what you ask for, you just might get it: Your words, your dreams, and your thoughts have power to create conditions in your life.
What you speak about, you can bring about. If you keep saying you can't stand your job, you might lose your job.
If you keep saying you can't stand your body, your body can become sick.
If you keep saying you can't stand your car, your car could be stolen or just stop operating.
If you keep saying you're always broke, guess what? you'll always be broke.
If you keep saying you can't trust a man or trust a woman, you will always find someone in your life to hurt and betray you.
If you keep saying you can't find a job, you will remain unemployed.
If you keep saying you can't find someone to love you or believe in you, your very thoughts will attract more experiences to confirm your beliefs.
Turn your thoughts and conversations around to be more positive and power packed with faith, hope, love and action.
Don't be afraid to believe that you can have what you want and deserve.
Watch your "Thoughts," they become words;
Watch your "Words," they become actions;
Watch your "Actions," they become habits;
Watch your "Habits," they become character;
Watch your "Character", for it becomes your "Destiny"
GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY!
Celebrate Life....There is only One per Customer.
In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths" - Proverbs 3:6
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Happy Post-Valentine's Day
I hope everyone had a nice day of love. I remember growing up that my mom made Valentine's Day a big deal. It was not just a "lover's holiday" in our house. It was a holiday about love. So we all gave each other cards and small gifts. It was a day we could use to reinforce the love we have for each other. As a result, anytime I hear someone complain they can't celebrate Valentine's Day because they don't have a valentine, I'm a little mystified. As long as you have someone in your life that loves you and you love them you have a valentine. So I hope everyone had a Happy Valentine's Day and got to spend it with someone they love. Plus all the candy and cards are discounted so you can always go out and get a little something in case you forgot.
On another note, MD and I are thisclose to closing on the house. The loan is approved, the insurance is bought, the seller has agreed to our requests based on inspection, the letter of committment is on it's way. We just are waiting on MD's tax refund. That will prove we have the money for the first two months mortgage. We are beyond excited but it ain't over until it's over so we are just taking it one day at a time.
On another note, MD and I are thisclose to closing on the house. The loan is approved, the insurance is bought, the seller has agreed to our requests based on inspection, the letter of committment is on it's way. We just are waiting on MD's tax refund. That will prove we have the money for the first two months mortgage. We are beyond excited but it ain't over until it's over so we are just taking it one day at a time.
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
Wednesday Wackiness
After the day week I've had I need a laugh. Considering my current status this is particularly funny.
-------------------------
A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed: "Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen."
God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish. The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman.
He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids,
Set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches,
Drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners
And stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping,
Then drove home to put away the groceries,
Paid the bills and balanced the checkbook.
He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog.
Then it was already 1 P.M. and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor.
Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home.
Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework,
Then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.
At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.
After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed.
At 9 P.M. he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.
The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said, "Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back."
The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied, "My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You'll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night."
-------------------------
A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed: "Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen."
God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish. The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman.
He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids,
Set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches,
Drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners
And stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping,
Then drove home to put away the groceries,
Paid the bills and balanced the checkbook.
He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog.
Then it was already 1 P.M. and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor.
Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home.
Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework,
Then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.
At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.
After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed.
At 9 P.M. he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.
The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said, "Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back."
The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied, "My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You'll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night."
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
Monday, January 31, 2005
Just Keep Praying
I'm a firm believer in the power of prayer. God answered my prayers - although He did so in His own way - and He answers other people's prayers as well. Previously, I asked you to pray for MD and me. I'm sending out this little post to continue to ask you to pray for MD and me. As noted, we found a house we liked on Saturday. This house:
/edit/i've removed the picture since apparently no one can see it. boo!/edit/
Well to make a long story short, we placed a bid on it today and if all goes well we close on February 28. We are beyond excited but we know that most importantly we are blessed and hope that we continue to be. Sooooo, keep praying for us. I'll keep you posted on the details as they become available. Thank you and God Bless!
/edit/i've removed the picture since apparently no one can see it. boo!/edit/
Well to make a long story short, we placed a bid on it today and if all goes well we close on February 28. We are beyond excited but we know that most importantly we are blessed and hope that we continue to be. Sooooo, keep praying for us. I'll keep you posted on the details as they become available. Thank you and God Bless!
Sunday, January 30, 2005
60-second Update
Yolanda accused me of forgetting I had a blog - actually she called me out. Well I haven't forgotten. I visit my blog quite frequently with the intent to post something - anything so people will know I'm alive and well. It's just that since the holidays, I'm a little busy. OK - A LOT busy. I've been a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest and I'm losing. Despite my best effort those two-legged bastards are leaving me in the dust and I'm not terribly happy about it.
A friend asked me is there was anything new going on and I had to give her a laundry list of stuff. You will be getting the same list with a little more detail.
A friend asked me is there was anything new going on and I had to give her a laundry list of stuff. You will be getting the same list with a little more detail.
- Christmas was an event. The girls got more stuff for Christmas than two people need. MD wanted them to have a cracked out Christmas. Let's just say they are hooked to the stuff he's pushing.
I baked 9 different kinds of cookies - with Munchkin's help and gave some away as presents. As a result I have people making cookies requests. Do I look like Betty Crocker? Christmas cookies are just that - cookies you do at Christmas. - Squirm's birthday was January 1. My baby is a year old. Her birthday was nice and quiet. She played in her cake (that I made - not not from scratch) like a pro and posed for the camera. I was so proud of her. I look at my girls and smile like a goofy. This was much better than the circus we put on for Munchkin's first birthday. Not to mention less stressful. A little family affair.
- The baby is on the way. As far as I'm concerned, come March we are finished having kids. We'll see what God has to say but as previously mentioned, I think he's still laughing too hard at me to afflict me again. That's my hope and prayer.
- We are house hunting - aggressively. Looking to move in the next 1-2 months. We actually found a house on Saturday that we are bidding on. Please pray for us. This will be a major lifestyle change - in addition to having another baby. It's what we've been looking for and we walked into it and had the "feeling". It was the first house that we had that feeling. You know the one where you are like I can live here and I would put the TV here. More importantly, we can afford it and not live on mac and cheese for the next 20 years.
- I'm job hunting. Looking to make more money with more responsibility. I got a raise in January which helps and I'm due for promotion (so I've been told) but a part of me wonders if I'm getting too comfortable at my job because I've been there so long. I need to test the waters and find out what I'm truly worth. MD is frustrated because he thinks I should be making thousands more. I don't know about thousands but I do feel underpaid.
Although with my due date so close, I may put job hunting on hold to focus on the house and new baby. It's not like I could start until after I come back from maternity leave anyway. I have to be realistic about what my focuses are the next few months. Anyone hiring a former bioengineer who has worked in advertising for the last 5.5 years? - I've been letting my hair grow out. I'm wavering back and forth between going natural or just waiting until after the baby gets here to get my hair relaxed. As a result, I'm wearing a wig. My roots are killing me. I have thick hair. (Remember that post about pressing Munchkin's hair - well she got that thick stuff from somewhere you know). Since I haven't relaxed my hair in months (I think the last perm I did was in September/October), my roots are unruly.
The wig I got gives me some versatility until I decide what I am truly going to do. The funny thing is that people think it's my real hair. I won't say which people but I did pick a color close to my true hair color with some highlights that aren't far feteched. Whatever works is my current motto. Plus anything that lets me get my hair done in under a minute is worth it! - I keep trying to do less at church but I'm being asked to do more . This is a losing battle. I'm at a church where the few are doing the work of the many. Therefore many of us are wearing multiple hats. Currently I do the following:
- Spiritual Life Board Chair
- Altar Guild member
- Choir member
- Sunday School Superintendent
- Youth Advisor (although after several attempts the youth program hasn't kicked off)
- Other things that I can't remember
It's actually not that bad but the one job that I would really, really like to give up is the one I've been specifically asked to keep. Apparently I'm doing too good of a job even though I'm slacking. Makes me wonder what kind of job I could do if I put some true effort into it. Actually I'm not wondering about something that isn't going to happen anytime soon. Right now I'm just going to look for a replacement and if I can't find one I'm going to train some unsuspecting person to be my replacement. - Work. Enough said.
I know it's a lot of stuff to process but I did say I was busy. Consider yourself pre-warned. I would promise to do better job at blogging regularly but I know bette to make promises that I can't keep. Besides, I was never blogging regularly. I blog when I feel like it. I like to blog to blow off steam. Although when you don't have time for that outlet you should know there's a problem. Is there a support group for people like me?
Friday, January 07, 2005
The Best Prayer I Have Heard In A Long Time
Sometimes you get mass emails that you really don't mind passing along. You almost feel obligated. Today is one of those times. Be blessed and in your blessing, I hope you bless others.
---------------------------
Heavenly Father, Help us remember that the jerk who cut us off in traffic last night is a single mother who worked nine hours that day and is rushing home to cook dinner, help with homework, do the laundry and spend a few precious moments with her children.
Help us to remember that the pierced, tattooed, disinterested young man who can't make change correctly is a worried 19-year-old college student, balancing his apprehension over final exams with his fear of not getting hisstudent loans for next semester.
Remind us, Lord, that the scary looking bum, begging for money in the same spot every day (who really ought to get a job!) is a slave to addictions that we can only imagine in our worst nightmares.
Help us to remember that the old couple walking annoyingly slow through the store aisles and blocking our shopping progress are savoring this moment, knowing that, based on the biopsy report she got back last week, thiswill be the last year that they go shopping together.
Heavenly Father, remind us each day that, of all the gifts you give us, the greatest gift is love. It is not enough to share that love with those we hold dear. Open our hearts not to just those who are close to us, but to all humanity. Let us be slow to judge and quick to forgive, show patience, empathy and love.
If you send this to 5 people, then you have a chance to touch 5 people. You won't get any wish for material things, however you might just find a piece of serenity and the warmth of God's touch.
---------------------------
Heavenly Father, Help us remember that the jerk who cut us off in traffic last night is a single mother who worked nine hours that day and is rushing home to cook dinner, help with homework, do the laundry and spend a few precious moments with her children.
Help us to remember that the pierced, tattooed, disinterested young man who can't make change correctly is a worried 19-year-old college student, balancing his apprehension over final exams with his fear of not getting hisstudent loans for next semester.
Remind us, Lord, that the scary looking bum, begging for money in the same spot every day (who really ought to get a job!) is a slave to addictions that we can only imagine in our worst nightmares.
Help us to remember that the old couple walking annoyingly slow through the store aisles and blocking our shopping progress are savoring this moment, knowing that, based on the biopsy report she got back last week, thiswill be the last year that they go shopping together.
Heavenly Father, remind us each day that, of all the gifts you give us, the greatest gift is love. It is not enough to share that love with those we hold dear. Open our hearts not to just those who are close to us, but to all humanity. Let us be slow to judge and quick to forgive, show patience, empathy and love.
If you send this to 5 people, then you have a chance to touch 5 people. You won't get any wish for material things, however you might just find a piece of serenity and the warmth of God's touch.
Thursday, January 06, 2005
Lazy Blogger
The new year has begun and I'm feeling like the lazy blogger. I could be like everyone else and blog about my Christmas and New Year's Eve shenanigans but I don't want to. I've never really been like everyone else and I don't intend to start now. Having a unique name has pre-destined me to be a unique - albeit stubborn - person. However I do owe some details on some of the things I mentioned in passing that a few astute readers caught...I'm pregnant.
Not a little pregnant either (as if there is such a thing), I'm in the 3rd trimester-we've been pregnant for a while-there's actually an end in sight type a way. Actually we did find out about it kind of late. If I hadn't gone to the doctor because I thought I was getting another kidney stone, I don't know when I would have found out. We are due in March. Early to mid March because we aren't "quite" sure when the moment of conception happened. But come the end of March we will have a baby. Munchkin is ecstatic. She wants a baby brother. If she had her way I would be having two babies so she, MD and I could all have a baby to hold. This girl is a trip. Squirm doesn't give a shit. Literally! As far as she's concerned she's the baby. I guess this is the drawback of having children this close in age. I got spoiled having a 5 year old and an infant. Now I'll have a 6 year old, a toddler and an infant. HOLY CRAP!! I'LL HAVE A 6 YEAR OLD, A TODDLER AND AN INFANT!! What was I thinking?
Actually, I was being good this time. MD and I used protection and everything. God is playing a cruel joke on me. I know He is laughing at me cause I can hear Him in my head. The Lord has a weird sense of humor and His sides have to be splitting on this one. Why the bitterness? Because you should be careful what you ask for that's why. When I was a much younger woman, I was always one to say that if I didn't have any babies by the time I was 30, I wasn't having any. Then that changed to if I wasn't finished having babies by the time I was 30, we would have to be happy with what we have. All in all, 30 was the cut-off. I turned 30 in May and figured that Munchkin and Squirm were it. A trip to the doctor and well guess who's 30 and having this last baby. God must be CRYING! You are laughing at me too, aren't you? I don't care. Be careful what you ask for. He will give it to you when you least expect it and probably think you don't want it.
For the record I know the sex this time. I have a feeling this is the last time we'll be going through this so I wanted to see. I have forbidden MD to tell though because ultrasounds have been known to be wrong. So we may still be surprised.
Why am I telling you all of this, because I'm a lazy blogger with posts that can be few and far between. Hopefully this little nugget will tide you demanding people over for a couple of days. :) If nothing else you got a good laugh at my expense. Well you and God.
Not a little pregnant either (as if there is such a thing), I'm in the 3rd trimester-we've been pregnant for a while-there's actually an end in sight type a way. Actually we did find out about it kind of late. If I hadn't gone to the doctor because I thought I was getting another kidney stone, I don't know when I would have found out. We are due in March. Early to mid March because we aren't "quite" sure when the moment of conception happened. But come the end of March we will have a baby. Munchkin is ecstatic. She wants a baby brother. If she had her way I would be having two babies so she, MD and I could all have a baby to hold. This girl is a trip. Squirm doesn't give a shit. Literally! As far as she's concerned she's the baby. I guess this is the drawback of having children this close in age. I got spoiled having a 5 year old and an infant. Now I'll have a 6 year old, a toddler and an infant. HOLY CRAP!! I'LL HAVE A 6 YEAR OLD, A TODDLER AND AN INFANT!! What was I thinking?
Actually, I was being good this time. MD and I used protection and everything. God is playing a cruel joke on me. I know He is laughing at me cause I can hear Him in my head. The Lord has a weird sense of humor and His sides have to be splitting on this one. Why the bitterness? Because you should be careful what you ask for that's why. When I was a much younger woman, I was always one to say that if I didn't have any babies by the time I was 30, I wasn't having any. Then that changed to if I wasn't finished having babies by the time I was 30, we would have to be happy with what we have. All in all, 30 was the cut-off. I turned 30 in May and figured that Munchkin and Squirm were it. A trip to the doctor and well guess who's 30 and having this last baby. God must be CRYING! You are laughing at me too, aren't you? I don't care. Be careful what you ask for. He will give it to you when you least expect it and probably think you don't want it.
For the record I know the sex this time. I have a feeling this is the last time we'll be going through this so I wanted to see. I have forbidden MD to tell though because ultrasounds have been known to be wrong. So we may still be surprised.
Why am I telling you all of this, because I'm a lazy blogger with posts that can be few and far between. Hopefully this little nugget will tide you demanding people over for a couple of days. :) If nothing else you got a good laugh at my expense. Well you and God.
Monday, January 03, 2005
Unconscious Mutterings - week 100
I know it's been a while but in honor of week 100, I felt the need to participate. Here we go...
- Newspaper:: Column
- DVD:: Player
- Resolution:: Pixels
- Intimate:: Nekkid
- Song:: Bonecrusher
- Essential:: Necessary
- Whistle:: While you work
- Glass:: Houses
- Countdown:: Houston we have liftoff
- Child:: of God
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