Monday, April 11, 2005

Week 114

It's been a minute since I did Unconscious Mutterings but my brain could use the workout so here we go...

  1. Horrendous:: Terrible
  2. Home video:: Not always America's Funniest
  3. What a girl wants:: Peace and Quiet
  4. Grounded:: Go to your room
  5. Trusting:: Blind
  6. Simplistic:: Easy
  7. Buzz:: Gossip
  8. Balcony:: Romeo oh Romeo
  9. Roar:: Lion's Call
  10. Hooker:: Economy Call Girl

Friday, April 08, 2005


The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands!

This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Wow, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's my paycheck.
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't over-do it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRA SAFE: Have some more chocolate.

13 Things PMS Stands For
1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweatpants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff

And my favorite one...
13. Potential Murder Suspect

Pass this on to all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a good laugh or men who need a warning!! And remember: Money talks....But Chocolate sings.

"Life may not be the party we hoped for...but while we are here we might as well dance!"