Friday, December 13, 2002

Good Black Woman
Everyone reading this either:
1. Is a good black woman.
2. Has a good black woman.
3. Will be blessed with a good black woman soon.
4. Has met a "Good Black Woman" but failed to recognize her.

Good Black Women are indeed all around us. We pass them on the streets, in the malls and in the halls at work. Most we can't see because we don't know what a good woman really looks like. She usually isn't flashy enough or rich enough to turn our heads. She might not wear a suit or push a Lexus. She might not have a "body like Tyra or Janet.

She may not have a face like Halle or Nia. But, as you mature, you realize it's better to find someone who's got your back rather than someone who turns your head. A good woman doesn't agree wholeheartedly with everything you say. She doesn't just tell you what you want to hear and do the opposite.

She doesn't declare how sensitive, sweet, caring, sincere, yada, yada she is (she won't have to because it shows). She has her own opinions and yours may clash, but she doesn't have to degrade you to prove she's right. She even admits at times to being wrong, especially if you are willing to do the same. A good woman is not going to meet every item on your checklist.

She is human with frailties and faults mixed in with all of her wonderful, strong attributes. She needs your love and respect. She needs to feel that you don't live to "catch" her doing something wrong so you can declare, "Aha! I knew you were a dog!" A good woman isn't insecure about her man having great achievements. In fact she is his number one supporter and becomes disappointed with him when he begins to lose himself, for the sake of "not hurting her feelings, or I just want to make her happy." Her happiness comes with seeing him excel in his dreams and accomplishing his goals.

For as he excels and is exalted, a good man will bring his good woman right along with him. A good woman doesn't necessarily give you a huge birthday or Valentine's gift. She shows her love in the ways that are comfortable to her. Don't judge her by TV standards. No one is really living a fairy tale. You'll miss out on your fairy tale by buying into the myth that our women are no good.

It's just not true.


Salute them, and thank them for who they are and all they do.
by Tavis Smiley

What Black people need to do now, not worry about stem cell research or cloning, cause they ain't thinking about using any one of them on us.

What Black people need to do now, invest in businesses in Harlem while Clinton is still there and then sell it before Hillary moves his behind back to Manhattan.

What Black people need to do now, support Iyanla and Ananda the way that white folks supported Rosie.

What Black people need to do now, stop wearing Capri pants when your ankles look like you been kicking white flour.

What Black people need to do now, is realize there is a difference between being Ghetto and being tasteless, there is a difference, y'all.

What Black people need to do now, recognize that Spike Lee's and Keenan Ivory Wayan's true legacy might not be in filmmaking but in discovering talent and granting opportunities. I challenge you to look at their resumes these guys have put forth for Black America and White America to consider.

What Black people need to do now, be afraid right now of the next Eminem.

What Black people need to do now, don't let white America hold Jesse Sr.'s infidelity against Jesse Jr.'s burgeoning career, can't let that happen folks.

What Black people need to do now, is keep supporting FUBU, Sean John and Phat Farm, I think this plan is working.

What Black people need to do now, somebody please find Starr Jones a man.

What Black people need to do now, after the Gospel Slide, we need to stop it right there y'all, we done gone too far now.

What Black people need to do now, recognize that Jill Scott might be the Maya Angelou of our generation and hope that white folks don't try to steal her from us.

What Black people need to do now, stop aspiring to Harvard while good schools like [Albany State University], [Clark Atlanta University], Howard, Hampton [and Tougaloo] are still open.

What Black people need to do now, wonder why every color M&M's have gotten a commercial except the brown ones.

What Black people need to do now, is stop calling our two year old kids smart and cute just because they know the words to the nasty songs on the videos.

What Black people need to do now, stop going on job interviews dressed like you are going to a party.

What Black people need to do now, stop trying to win money on those survival type games on TV. Just like in the movies, we are always the first ones to get voted out. Get real, y'all.

What Black people need to do now, they need to know as much about investing in the stock market as we do about all the characteristics of the Zodiac signs. Ask average Black folk what the NASDAQ is, they don't know nothing, but tell them you're a Scorpio and they will give you the low down!!!!

What Black people need to do now, need to get their bank accounts and credit cards out of the red instead of walking around with all their teeth covered in gold, especially if you're still riding the bus and living at yo' Momma's house.'

What Black people need to do now, need to stop naming our kids after liquor and expensive cars, I've had enough of that.

What Black people need to do now, need to stop getting mad when their boss tells them to get off the phone at work and you've been on a two hour personal phone call, 'why you mad about that?'

What Black people need to do now, need to learn how to dab just a little cologne and not the whole bottle.

What Black people need to do now, turn down the volume on our TVs and CD players so we can stop walking around talking so loud all the time.

What Black people need to do now, stop spending 40 to 50 million dollars to build a church and you walk outside on the same street stepping over homeless folks. Can I get a witness!!!

Wednesday, December 11, 2002

You know you grew up in the '80s if....aka You are Older Than Dirt and Here's Proof
1) You ever ended your sentence with "psych"
2) You solved the Rubics peeling off the stickers
3) You watched the pound puppies
4) You can sing the rap to "the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air"
5) You wore biker shorts under your skirts and felt stylish
6) You yearned to be a member of the Baby-sitters club and tried to start a club of your own.
7) You owned those little Strawberry Shortcake pals scented dolls
8) You know who Six is from Blossom
9) Three words: M.C. Hammer
10) You can sing the entire theme song! to "Duck Tales"
11) If you played the chipmunks Christmas album all year long!
12) The crypt keeper really freaked you out
13) Remember reading Kool-Aid man comics
14) You ever watched Fraggle Rock
15) You had plastic streamers on the handle bars of your bike
16) When it was actually worth getting up early on Saturday to watch cartoons
17) You wore a pony tail to the side of your head
18) You saw the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on the big screen
19) You got super-excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school
20) You made your mom buy you one of those clips that would hold your shirt in a knot on the side
21) You had a Kirk Cameron poster on your bedroom wall
22) You played the game "Mash" with friends at school
23) You wore a Jordache jean jacket and you were proud of L.A. GEAR
24) Your mother wouldn't let you have garbage pail kids
25) You remember reading "Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing" and all the Ramona books
26) You know the profound meaning of "Wax on, Wax off"
27) You wanted to be a Goonie
28) You ever wore fluorescent, neon if you will, clothing
29) You wanted to be on StarSearch
30) You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off
31) You took Lunch boxes to school
32) You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the ONLY female smurf
33) You remember the craze, and then the banning of slap bracelets
34) You still get the urge to use "NOT" at the end of every statement you make
35) You remember Hypercolor T-shirts
36) Barbie and the Rockers was your favorite band
37) You remember Punky Brewster
38) You loved Howard the duck
39) You thought Sheera and He-man should hook up
40) You thought your childhood friends would never leave because you exchanged "friendship bracelets"
41) You ever owned a pair of Jelly Shoes
42) After you saw Pee-Wee's Big Adventure you couldn't stop saying "I know you are but what am I?"
43) You remember "I've fallen...and I can't get up!"
44) When you watched Family Matters and wanted to beat Steve Urkels ass
45) You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates (WORD!)
46) You ever got seriously injured on a slip and slide
47) You know not to mix poprocks and soda
48) You have played with a 'skip-it'
49) You had or went to a birthday party at McDonald's
50) If you've ever wanted to go to Degrassi High
51) You ever sat on or used one knee on a skateboard
52) You learned oldies songs by watching Alvin and the Chipmunks
53) You had a Glow Worm or watched the cartoon
54) You remember dancing along with the Bangles in "Walk Like An Egyptian"
55) If you remember Heathcliff the orange cat
56) You saw the California Raisins Christmas claymation special
57) You've gone through this list occasionally saying "That wasn't from the 80's"
58) You remember Popples
59) DON'T WORRY, BE HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!
60) You wore socks over tights with high-top Reeboks
61) You wore like 8 pairs of socks at once, scrunched down
63) You remember boom boxes instead of CD players
64) You remember watching both "Gremlins" movies
65) You remember the gimp fad
66) You remember the Transformers
67) You had to buy a pair of overalls when everyone started wearing them
68) You knew what it meant to say: "Care bear stare!!" and you had a favorite
69) You remember Rainbow Bright and MY Little Pony
70) You remember watching TV thinking Doogie Howser was hot!
71) You remember Alf, the little furry brown alien from Malmac
72) You remember the large amounts of hairspray used
73) You remember those very stylish headbands
74) You remember Vicky the Robot
75) You remember Eve Garland from Out of this World and how she could stop time by pressing the tips of her index fingers together and talking to her dad through a glowing cube in her bedroom
76) You remember the beginning of New Kids on the Block
77) You remember watching The Cosby show religiously
78) You remember Mr.Belvedere
79) You remember Michael J. Fox in Family Ties and Back to the Future
Very interesting.
The Enemy at the Gate
Like most hip young urbanites, I need three things: food, shelter and a damn good pedicure. So, as I made my weekly sojourn to the flagship Randall's grocery store, I stopped by the magazine aisle to stock up on my monthly reading staples: Essence, Black Enterprise and Cosmopolitan. As usual, I did my illegal reading of Jet magazine, which means, I read the whole thing from cover to cover without paying for it. As I drooled over the latest issue of Essence, with oh-so-fine Boris, I'm-hot-but-my-grill-is-jacked Shemar and I-think-I'm-cute Tyrese on the cover, I noticed the tagline at the top of the magazine: 'Forget Mr.Right! Create Your Own Wealth'. Nothing unusual, I thought, just the usual rhetoric about sista's who don't need a man, which has become commonplace in Essence. However, as I picked up my Cosmo in the white girls section, I noticed that most of their articles had a common thread about how to get a man. They all had taglines such as 'Find your Sexual Soul Mate', 'Date like A Pro', 'Build That Relationship' and 'Find Him, Marry Him!' As I looked back at my Essence with three physically, handsome men on the cover that would make any sane sista' think about settling down, I was curious to know why Essence would go left, instead of right. Hmmmm. Why are sista's so geared towards accepting the fact that we may always be single? Is this an unfortunate situation that we have been accustomed to? The last ten years have left black woman with "I can and will live life without a man", tattooed across our foreheads.

So, I ask myself this question: are the gatekeepers of the media finally force-feeding us the "single til' I die" mentality that we've been whooping and hollering about all these years? Singledom is an accepted practice among most black urban professionals. A recent and interesting conversation with a mixed crowd of friends revealed some unpleasant truths. Some of us have settled in our minds that we are probably going to be single for the majority of our adult lives, while most of us are knee-deep in the dating game. Sista's are doing the multiple dating thing, sometimes all in one day. It's not unusual for one of my sista friends to hook up with one brotha' for coffee in the morning, another for a quick bit of lunch and then yet another for dinner and dancing later on that night. And, lest we forget, the brotha's are matching sista's date for date. They are just trying to spend as little money as possible in exchange for some company. This serial dating is supposed to be the in-thing for modern young urbanites. Marriage or even a steady, monogamous relationship is just an afterthought.

The media portrays today's black woman as confident, sassy, independent and most importantly, in no need of a man to run our show. Look at the movies geared towards us. Waiting to Exhale. How Stella got her Groove Back. Two Can Play That Game. All movies that scream, "this is how a 'real' black woman should be". The images of these types of women, who relish the thought of either getting rid of that damn negro or having a relationship that has absolutely nothing to do with getting married are becoming too commonplace for comfort. Even movies geared towards black couples and families are following this trend. Take The Best Man, for example. Nia Long's character, educated, smart and beautiful, is ridiculed for being too strong in her career, too independent for any man and eventually she ends up alone at the end of the movie. All this happens while some ditz with no career rides into the sunset with a fine football player and a couple of million dollars and another ditz with too many careers get's a marriage proposal. Let's look at Soul Food. The successful, beautiful lawyer played by Vanessa Williams ends up lonely and divorced while her ex-husband goes off to find a successful music career and the docile, submissive and crafty wife played by Vivica Fox keeps the whole family together. Huh? Isn't the strong black woman supposed to have it all? Where is her somewhere over the rainbow? Where is her damn marriage proposal? Where is her knight in shining black armor? Well, one strong black woman did get her marriage proposal. In The Brothers, Shemar Moore's character almost made it to the alter, despite the protests of his boys. However, after getting a serious case of cold feet and selective amnesia when he forgot to tell his bride-to-be the change in plans, we see a beautiful, successful black woman turn into a hysterical, gun-toting, neck rotating psycho bitch.

Now, let's take a look at the movies geared towards white women. The Wedding Planner. Sweet November. What Women Want. All movies with strong, independent white women. All are movies that explore relationships with white women. However, I noticed one startling difference between these and movies for black women. All these independent women, even the one that is dying in Sweet November, end up getting them a man. No matter how the character was portrayed, the end result was to show that life just isn't worth living without the right guy. Interesting, isn't it?

Even music pushes us away from cohabitation with a man. Who was hired to write, produce and perform the sassy title track for Charlie's Angels last year? Dream? Enya? Celine Dion? No, they picked Destiny's Child, whose audience, although white, includes a majority if young, black impressionable females, to loudly proclaim their independence from any man, for any thing they need. The gatekeepers of the media are not people that look like us. Face the facts, the entire entertainment industry is run by old white men. Look at Clive Davis, for God's sake. He is older then dirt and still turns out black artists. At the end of the day, all these record labels, artists, producers, writers, television executives and publishing houses are owned by the same people and they all look alike. So, if the gatekeepers of the media are allowing and encouraging these types of images to filter into the black community and we buy into it, are we subconsciously helping to justify the lack of strong, loving black relationships? Dazzling young urbanites are at a crossroads in our personal lives. We want to settle down, but we can't find someone who doesn't make us physically nauseous after six months. We want to find a mate, but we are so scared of losing our independence in the relationship, that we wear our ass on our shoulders. We want to find love, but we have so many strings and bylaws, rules and regulations, on what our idea of a relationship should be that the love becomes a distant afterthought.

Black women and black men, we have to ask the question: is this the society we have created for ourselves or have we allowed society to create it for us? How did we get to the point where we began to embrace the media images that sabotage our chances of finding a meaningful relationship? And, in some way, have we helped the gatekeepers of the media by buying into the drama? If the stereotypes are correct, we might as well accept the fact that we may be single for the rest of our natural lives. Those of us that do make an attempt at finding love will only get burned in the process. Those of us who don't are considered the lucky ones. Of course, there is the argument that it's all just entertainment and that in real life, black men really do want a black woman who is independent, educated and sassy. However, in the world of black love, reality doesn't fall too far from fiction and isn't it true that art often imitates life?
Three old men were sitting around complaining abouthow much their hands shook.

The first geezer said, "My hands shake so bad that when I shaved this morning I cut my face!"

The second old fogey one-upped him. "My hands shake so bad that when I trimmed my garden yesterday I sliced all my flowers!"

The third old man laughed and said, "That's nothing.My hands shake so bad that when I took a piss yesterday, I came three times."
Maude and Claude, both 91, lived in a senior citizen's residence. They met one day in the social center, and discovered over time that they enjoyed each other's company.

After several weeks of meeting for coffee, Claude asked Maude out for dinner and she accepted. They had a lovely evening and afterward Claude asked Maude to join him at his place for an after-dinner drink.

Things continued along a natural course and, age being no inhibitor, Maude soon joined Claude for a most enjoyable roll in the feathers.

As they were basking in the glow of the magic moments they'd shared, each was lost for a time in their own thoughts.

"If I'd known she was a virgin, I'd have been more gentle" thought Claude.

If I'd known he could still get it up, I'd have taken off my panty hose," thought Maude.
Two strangers are sitting in an adjacent seats in airplane. One guy says to the other, "Let's talk. I hear that the flight will go faster if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The other guy, who had just opened a good book, closes it slowly, takes off his glasses and asks, "What would you like to discuss?"

The first guy says, "Oh, I don't know; how about Nuclear Power?"

The other guy says, "OK, that could make for some pretty interesting
conversation. But let me ask you a question first: A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff. But the deer excretes pellets; the cow, big patties; and the horse, clumps of dried grass. Why is that?"

The first guy says, "I don't know."

The other guy says, "Oh? Well then, do you really think you're qualified to discuss Nuclear Power when you don't know shit?"
Common's New Album is out...check out the website...CoMMoN :: Electric Circus - In stores Now!

Tuesday, December 10, 2002

From the Food Ingredients First Website

Adults Say Candy Is A Welcome Guest During The Holidays
Kids Share Candy Cane Munching Strategies

9/12/2002 It`s that time of the year again! Bells are jingling, turkeys are roasting, families are mingling and everyone`s toasting a joyous holiday season. According to a recent National Confectioners Association survey, candy and chocolate are welcome guests during holiday celebrations, from stuffing stockings to filling candy bowls, and of course, hanging those traditional candy canes on the Christmas tree.

Eighty-nine percent of 1,000 adults surveyed said that candy plays a role in their winter holiday celebrations. Filling candy dishes with festive candies topped the list of how candy was enjoyed, with 72 percent of respondents sharing this holiday tradition. Giving or receiving a box of chocolates was also very popular, with 70 percent noting this as an anticipated holiday activity. Sixty-three percent of the surveyed adults also said they either give or receive holiday stockings stuffed with candy and other goodies.

The winter holidays of Christmas, Hanukkah and Kwanza create the third biggest "candy holiday," in sales for the confectionery industry, with only Halloween (number one in sales) and Easter being bigger. More boxed chocolates are sold between Thanksgiving and New Year`s Day than any other time of year. Also, more than 150 million chocolate Santas will be made for the season, along with 1.8 billion candy canes.

When it comes to candy canes, kids have some definite ideas on the best way to eat them. The National Confectioners Association recently surveyed 500 kids ages 6-11 years old to get the scoop on the best way to enjoy a candy cane. Most kids -- 54 percent -- say they eat their candy canes by sucking on them. Biting/crunching candy canes came in second, with 24 percent of boys and girls saying this is the best way to devour a candy cane, and 19 percent noted that licking the candy cane was their preference (2 percent didn`t know, 1 percent said "other"). Boys were nearly twice as likely to crunch their candy canes than girls (31 percent vs. 17 percent).

No matter how kids and adults enjoy their favorite holiday candies, one thing is certain -- they are a welcome part of the celebration, according to Larry Graham, president of the National Confectioners Association and Chocolate Manufacturers Association.

"Candy is a fun food that has always been a part of special celebrations," Graham says. "Best of all, eaten in moderation, candy can fit any healthy lifestyle while adding pleasure to our lives."

Friday, December 06, 2002

A Child's Worst Nightmare
A father asks his 10-year-old son if he knows about the birds and the bees. "I don't want to know!" the child says, bursting into tears. "Promise me you won't tell me!" Confused, the father asks, "what's wrong?". "Oh, dad," the boy sobs. "When I was six, I got
the 'There's no Santa speech'. At seven, I got the 'There's no Easter Bunny' speech. When I was eight, you hit me with the 'There's no tooth fairy' speech. If you're going to tell me that grownups don't really get laid, I'll have nothing left to live for!

Tuesday, December 03, 2002

I'm finished cleaning up my email box for now...enjoy all the postings and yes I know I still owe a Thanksgiving update (DS you are on my list)!
How Do You Turn & Walk Away?
How many people find that it is hard to walk away from the past? Relationships, jobs, friends, family, church, etc. There are times in life when walking away is the only option.

That unequally yoked relationship. You are moving in one direction and they are moving in another. You want one thing out of life and they want another. How do you turn and walk away?

What about the job that stopped challenging you years ago? Do you stay there because you are half way to retirement, or do you walk away and go do something that brings your joy back? How do you walk away?

What about those friendships that seem to keep going up and down? One day you are friends and the next day you are not. Do you stay in that friendship when it causes more hurt than happiness? Is this one of those who will be removed? How do you walk away?

What about the family member that continues to borrow all that you have? Do you continue to lend them the money/car/time, or do you step back and allow God to be God? How do you walk away from what you've done for so long?

What about the church that you stopped growing in many years ago? Do you stay there because that's the only church that you know, or do you move on to a new church where you will have spiritual growth? How do you walk away?

Walking away is not easy, staying is sometimes worse. When a situation no longer has grace, is it better to stay or leave? There are times when God is saying to walk away and there are times when He is saying to stay, but unless you have a personal relationship, you have no idea what He is saying. God will allow us to stay in things as long as we would like. It is up to us to listen when He says go. We should not get mad when things continue to go in the wrong direction, when God has given us His direction.

I didn't come today to say walk away, I came to ask the question "how do you walk away?" I too have asked this question many days and always heard the Lord say "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." That's the key, seek God for the answer. There are times when He will have a delay in His response. There are times when you will miss God's answer. There are times when you will stay regardless of His answer to you, but know that God is a God that always answers the prayers of the righteous. He answers in His time, not ours. Just wait for Him.

So how do you walk away? Ask God to order your steps and the walk becomes that's much easier.

Be blessed!
A Word Review
The most destructive habit..........................................Worry
The greatest joy........................................................Giving
The greatest loss..............................................Self-respect
The most satisfying work...............................Helping Others
The ugliest personality trait.................................Selfishness
The greatest problem to overcome.................................Fear
The most effective sleeping pill........................Peace of mind
The most powerful force in life.......................................Love
The most dangerous outcast..................................A Gossip
The worst thing to be without.......................................Hope
The deadliest weapon.........................................The Tongue
The two most power-filled words................................."I can"
The greatest asset.....................................................Faith
The most beautiful attire.........................................A Smile
Most prized possession..........................................Integrity
The most contagious spirit................................Enthusiasm
Our greatest teacher ........................................Experience
The most powerful channel of communication.............Prayer
Sister My Sister
Sister my Sister, can I speak with you for a minute?
No, I don't want to hear your business, cause I ain't trying to be in it.

I'd just like to talk with you if I could
and share my views on the lack of "real" sisterhood.

You see I'm guilty and maybe you are the same,
of judging my sisters without even knowing their name.

I look at their shape, comment on their hair
and talk about what they really should or shouldn't wear.

I roll my big eyes, I put my hands on my hips,
and not a kind word comes out of my "got the nerve" lips.

Why can't I just smile, wave and say "hey,
I'm down with you sister, have a nice day"

We need to stick together, it would be great if we could,
To promote unity, understanding and "real" sisterhood.

Without it we have nothing, why not go for it all,
for sisters united we stand, divided we fall.

So let's seize the moment, before the moment is gone.
Grasp this message Sister My Sister and PASS IT ON
I'm cleaning out my email inbox...hence all the miscellaneous posts. I've figured since so many people are reading my blog it would be easier to post things I would normally send out in mass emails here and reach many many more people. (I'm kidding myself but as long as I believe in the delusion - it's real). Enjoy!
Being a Woman of God
Just because no one has been fortunate enough to realize what a gold mine you are, doesn't mean you shine any less.

Just because no one has been smart enough to figure out that you can't be topped, doesn't stop you from being the best.

Just because no one has come along to share your life, doesn't mean that day isn't coming.

Just because no one has made this race worthwhile, doesn't give you permission to stop running.

Just because no one has realized how much of an awesome woman you are, doesn't mean they can affect your femininity.

Just because no one has come to take the loneliness away, doesn't mean you have to settle for a lower quality.

Just because no one has shown up who can love you on your level, doesn't mean you have to sink to theirs.

Just because you deserve the very best there is, doesn't mean that life is always fair.

Just because God is still preparing your king, doesn't mean that you're not already a Queen.

Just because your situation doesn't seem to be progressing right now, doesn't mean you need to change a thing.

Keep shining, Keep running,
Keep hoping, Keep praying,
Keep being exactly what you are already . . . COMPLETE!
Breast Cancer Bill

Please forward this to everyone in your address book.. If there was ever a
time when our voices and choices should be heard, this is one of those
times. If you are receiving this it's because I think you are a loving,
caring, person who will take the 30 seconds to go and vote on this issue...and send
it on to others you know who will do the same.

There's a bill called the Breast Cancer Patient Protection Act which will
require insurance companies to cover a minimum 48-hour hospital stay for
patients undergoing a mastectomy. It's about eliminating the "drive-through
mastectomy" where women are forced to go home hours after surgery against
the wishes of their doctor, still groggy from anesthesia and sometimes with
drainage tubes still attached. Lifetime Television has put this bill on
their web page with a petition drive to show your support. Last year over half the House signed on.

Sign the petition by clicking on the web site below and help women
living with breast cancer get the care they need and deserve!! There is no
cost or monetary pledge involved. You need not give more
than your name and zip code number.
According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa’s reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.

We should’ve known. ONLY women would be able to drag a fat-ass man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost!

Monday, December 02, 2002

I'm a delinquent...I haven't posted in ages. Not that my life is that exciting - but I have been doing things I could be talking about. I'll try to do better. On that note, not only am I a delinquent...I'm a bad friend. I missed several birthdays the past few months and need to get back on track. So here is a quick update and HAPPY BIRTHDAY to:

October 30 Aisha Lewis (this is my daughter's Godmother for goodness sakes)
November 4 Matthew Jones
November 6 Lisa Scott
November 14 Anita Forney
November 15 Michelle Truss (my own mother!!)
November 15 My daughter
November 23 Jack Volpi
December 2 Eric Gunter
December 7 Consuelo Cunningham

I will update the list as more names come up. If I missed any upcoming birthdays, I'm sorry in advance. :)

Thursday, November 21, 2002

Subject: God's Voice Mail

Most of us have now learned to live with voice mail as a necessary part of our lives. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if God decided to install voice mail? Imagine praying and hearing the following:

Thank you for calling heaven.
For English press 1
For Spanish press 2
For all other languages, press 3

Please select one of the following options:
Press 1 for request
Press 2 for thanksgiving
Press 3 for complaints
Press 4 for all others

I am sorry, all our Angels and Saints are busy helping other sinners right now. However, your prayer is important to us and we will answer it in the order it was received. Please stay on the line.

If you would like to speak to:
God, press 1
Jesus, press 2
Holy spirit, press 3
To find a loved one that has been assigned to heaven press 5, then enter his social security # followed by the pound sign. (If you receive a negative response, please hang up and dial area code 666)

For reservations to heaven, please enter JOHN followed by the numbers, 316.

For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, life and other planets, please wait until you arrive in heaven for the specifics.

Our computers show that you have already been prayed for today, please hang up and call again tomorrow.

The office is now closed for the weekend to observe a religious holiday.

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Thank you and have a heavenly day.

Tuesday, November 19, 2002

I have been informed that I am formally listed on Google. I'm popular by association. I checked Google and I did find myself. When I searched by my first name I found A LOT of sites with Ayaba on them somewhere. More than a handful were foreign. I didn't find myself with my blog though. I'll keep searching. If you find it...let me know.
OK...I've been a little busy this past weekend to update the blog. Please forgive me. So here's the recap...

Friday - Party, Party, Party
As I said previously, it was Mia's birthday. We had a party for her at her school (Mommy's first time making sweets for the kids). The kids got cake, ice cream, rice krispies treats and brownie bites. Not to mention the treat bags I made for them to take home. Mia loved it and had a BLAST!! Plus with all the sugar these kids put away it was the perfect excuse for them to then go play in the "Bikes and Slides" area. Mia's grandparents came and we all had a good time all-around. The best part - not having to clean my house!! We went back to her father's house to open gifts. She got mostly books, a Dora the Explorer "We Did It" dancing doll, an art set and a...MAGIC SET. Mia is constantly making up her own magic tricks. Her dad and I figured we would help her out with some props.

Friday night we took Mia to dinner at Dave and Busters. She loves this place. She gets to eat and race cars and trucks and snowmobiles and motorcycles. (Did I mention she's a lot like her father - a speed demon?) Anywho, she had her favorite dinner (chicken and french fries) as did mommy (steak and potatoes). Plus the magician was there. He came by and did tricks and made balloon animals. Then the waitstaff came out and sang Happy Birthday to her. Through all this do you know what she said..."Can we go play games now?" Again, she is her father's child. She got to play every game that she asked to...except shoot 'em ups...too much violence! We didn't get back to her dad's house until 11:30 pm and she was immediately tucked and fast asleep.

Saturday - More Party, Party, Party
Mia is extremely blessed. She has 5 great-grandparents. Well her GG Forney turned 80 on Thursday (11/14) and there was a party for her on Saturday. The party was from 1 to 4 pm. What time did we get there? 4 pm. I was with someone who is terminally late. I think he's incurable. I know that I slept in until 1:30 pm. I had some extremely late nights at work. So when I asked what time it was and got 1:30 pm of course imagine my shock!! The next question...why did you let me sleep so late when we are supposed to be somewhere at 1:00 pm? No clear cut answer. I knew we were in trouble. Hopped out of bed and got Mia and myself ready only to find the offender has decided to take a nap (at 1:30!?!?!?). Needless to say, we were late. But I think I mentioned that already. The party was nice and it's always a good time with family and friends.

Saturday night we treated Mia to a surprise...the Harry Potter Movie! She couldn't guess what it was until we got to the movie theater and I told her we would be seeing a movie about a boy with a broomstick and we saw it last year - out pops Harry Potter?. It was a treat for us as well...we went to the new AMC River East 21 on Illinois Street...VERY NICE!!! 21 screens and validated parking ($6). Plus since it just opened, small popcorn was 25¢. You get to put on your own butter and salt...I was in popcorn heaven. The movie was good. I liked was true to the book but a lot darker than the first movie. Mia liked it too...there were a couple of scary moments but she knows that it's just acting. On the way home we noticed that it was starting to snow. Home by 11:30 pm again...two late nights in a row!

Sunday - This is the day the Lord has made, be glad and rejoice in it!
I go to church every Sunday unless there is some extenuating circumstance (aka illness). I have to be there by 9:00 am for Sunday School and I pick up my grandmother on the way. After two late nights I did NOT want to get up...but I did. Well imagine my surprise when I got to my car and saw not only had it snowed...IT STUCK!! I had to clean off my car without the proper equipment. Anyway, I got to my grandmother's house knowing she would be waiting on me and she wasn't even dressed. Needless to say I was late for Sunday School...luckily I have competent teachers who start without me. Church was great...and there was a choir concert that afternoon. The concert was wonderful!! I love to hear the choir really moves my spirit. Unfortunately I cannot sing so you will not see me joining the choir anytime soon. It doesn't stop me from singing in my secure seat on the pew however...that and a lot of clapping and toe-tapping. It was a great event...I can't wait until they do it again in the Spring (hint, hint!!).

After church, Mia and I got the my house and crashed. It had been a long day and even longer weekend!

Friday, November 15, 2002

I've been reading my friend Carlos's (my gero) blog and he is having some interesting life changes. I want to say that I'm proud and the fact that he is willing to share these changes with his friends and family is even better.
Today is my daughter's birthday. She is officially four since she was born at 2:26 am. Thank you Consuelo for your story about that stupid dog that made me laugh so hard I dilated from 4 to 8 cm in 25 minutes. No drugs for me. Natural whether I wanted it or not. Four years later I can say that I would go through it again. I have this beautiful little girl that I adore. She is spoiled rotten by love and I wouldn't have it any other way. It's also my mom's birthday. As I said to her then when she looked at her granddaughter....Happy Birthday forever. Besides she's only 50. (smile)

Thursday, November 14, 2002

I think I'm the only one that reads my depressing. :(

Tuesday, November 12, 2002

Just a side's my mother's and my daughter's birthday on Friday...yes they were both born on the same day. A few years apart mind you but the same day. My mom is turning 50...what should I get her? All suggestions are welcome. Muchas!
I sent a friend the following and she asked me if it had changed the way that I thought about relationships. I don't know that it changed the way I thought about relationships it more or less re-affirmed some things I had been thinking about period. Let me know what you think. Yes it's a long one...

1 Corinthians 6:18-20 & 1 Corinthians 7:1-2

"Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's. Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband."

The dictionary meaning of the word "fornication" means any unlawful sexual intercourse including adultery. In the Bible the Greek definition of the word "fornication" means to commit illicit sexual intercourse. What constitutes unlawful sex? Whose laws do we live by? Worldly standards or laws many times do not always line up with the Word of God. The founding fathers of the United States established many laws that were originally based on Christian standards and the laws of the Bible. However, through time the United States has drifted far from these standards and at the present our moral standards are shocking the world. However, immorality is not only found in the U.S. but is a world-wide epidemic. Societies throughout history and around the globe have embraced sexual standards that are called sins in the Bible.

Fornication is not just tolerated in our society but is actually being encouraged. The sin of fornication is being committed even among Christians, as many couples "live together" and have sex before marriage. The Bible tells us to flee this sin. We have counseled Christians of the opposite sex who share an apartment and they told us they were not having sex so this surely wasn't wrong. The Bible declares these words in 1 Thessalonians 5:22-23: "Abstain from all appearance of evil. And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ."

Our lives as Christians are a living witness to others and we cannot break the laws of God without hindering others from coming to Christ. We must live our lives in purity before a sinful and wicked world. We should not be living according to their standards but according to God's standard in the Bible. No couple should live together outside the bonds of marriage.

Many say they live together before marriage to see if they are compatible as they don't want to divorce. This may sound like a justifiable reason for committing the sin of fornication, but in God's eyes it is still sin. Statistics however, show that those who live together before marriage are more likely to get a divorce than those who do not. Living together shows a total lack of trust in God and a failure to commit to Him the choosing of a mate. Christians who are living in this situation are out of the will of God and need to repent and seek God as to whether this person is the right one for them. If it is God's will for them to be together they should marry. Otherwise, they need to change their living arrangements.

As Christians, the goal of any relationship should be to cause the people in our lives to love and know the Lord better. Living together is shameful and selfish as the parties do not care what others think or how they might affect their families and others. They are living to please their own lust and selfish desires. This type of life style is destructive and especially so for children whose parents are living a bad example before them. No wonder our children are confused about right and wrong when parents degrade the sanctity of marriage by living together out of wedlock. How can living together cause children to love and honor God when their parents break the laws of God before them because they are lustful?

Young people today need to be taught to abstain from sexual intercourse and remain pure virgins before marriage. So many problems in marriages today stem from the fact that they are not virgins when they marry. Young people are bringing wounded emotions and diseased bodies into their marriages because of prior promiscuous affairs. STDs (Sexually Transmitted Diseases) are so widespread that the statistics are shocking. There are 12 million new cases of STDs annually in the United States and 67% of these occur among persons under the age of 25. In fact, every year one out of six teens contracts an STD. 100,000 to 150,000 women become infertile each year as a result of STDs.¹ Others endure years of pain as some of these diseases are incurable. What a tragic price to pay for sexual sins. The Bible is right when it says fornication is a sin against one's own body.

The sin of fornication is not only defined as illicit sexual intercourse between those who are not married but also is an umbrella for other sexual sins as well. The Bible also speaks of the sin of incest as fornication in 1 Corinthians 5:1: "It is reported commonly that there is fornication among you, and such fornication as is not so much as named among the Gentiles, that one should have his father's wife."

The Bible also lists whoremongers as fornicators in Revelation 21:8: But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.

All prostitutes and pimps are fornicators. Couples who just "live together" according to the Bible, are committing the same sin that whores commit. Singles who "make love" fall into the same category. Just because society has accepted this type of living does not make it right. The Bible must be our standard of what is right and wrong. We must change our standards if we do not want the wrath of God to fall on us. God hates sin but He loves the sinner. If anyone repents and calls on Jesus today He will help them to come out of any illicit relationship and heal them of all past hurts and even heal any disease that they may have contracted.

God gave us the laws in the Bible for our good. They are not meant to deny us any good thing but they are given so we can enjoy the proper sexual relationship in the proper time. If we obey the words of the Bible and "flee fornication" and glorify God in our bodies, the Lord will bless us beyond what we could believe.

Psalm 145:17-21: "The LORD is righteous in all his ways, and holy in all his works. The LORD is nigh unto all them that call upon him, to all that call upon him in truth. He will fulfil the desire of them that fear him: he also will hear their cry, and will save them. The LORD preserveth all them that love him: but all the wicked will he destroy. My mouth shall speak the praise of the LORD: and let all flesh bless his holy name for ever and ever."
I sent the following message to some was pretty powerful so I'm sharing it here. Let me know what you think
I don't know if you all are ready for this, but this is the real deal. The is raw and uncut, NO CHASER! The WORD of GOD is a two-edged sword. With that, some of us may be bleeding after this. It is long, but every word is powerful. Please read to the end. Be blessed

This is good reading material even if you are married or not. Turn in your Bible to Psalm 65:4 (the New King James Bible). It says, Blessed is the man you choose and causes to approach you. That he may dwell in your courts and shall be satisfied with the goodness of your house.

Pastor T.D. Jakes made a statement once that was morbid but SO true! He said that when choosing a mate, you need to ask yourself whether or not that person is the one you would want to hold your hand as you are lowering your parents' bodies into the grave for the last time. That is serious. Meditate on that for a few seconds. Your entire perspective in terms of what you are searching for in a mate should be based on that one question. Are you dating?

Think about your boy/girlfriend. Is he (she)seriously the one you would want holding your hands during the darkest hours of your life? Look even deeper. Is your present boy/girlfriend the type who would offer you assistance during the time of grief? Unbelievably, there are numerous men (women) out here who offer absolutely NO comfort to hurting women (men).And no, it does not matter whether they are married to those women (men) or not! I wish you could see some of the personal letters this site receives from married people. Yes, some of them are happy, praise God! However, the ones who are not happy are miserable. There are no in between. Either you are happy in a marriage or you are not. There are married women (men) writing saying their husbands (wives) never show authentic affection towards them, never offer expressions of love for them. That is real.

Because it is so real, God desires that women (men) are exceptionally careful when choosing a mate. Notice I did not say that women should FIND a mate! I said, "Choose". There is a huge difference. Turn in your Bible to Proverbs 18:22. It says that He who finds a wife finds a good thing...Interpretation: MEN find women.Women should not be out trying to find a man! HOWEVER, once found, the woman can then choose to be with the man or to wait to be found by a different man.

Proverbs 20:6 states, Who can find a faithful man? The fact that the question is asked is indicative of the fact that there are not many faithful men out there. However, there is good news. The good news is that JESUS knows where the faithful men are! Webster's New Collegiate Dictionary offers several excellent definitions of the word faithful:

(a) Steadfast in affection or allegiance
(b) Loyal
(c) Firm in adherence to promises or in observance of duty
(d) Conscientious

The scriptures say that a faithful man is difficult to find. God is saying that it is hard to find a man (woman) with the qualities in letters a, b,c, and d. However, wouldn't you love to have a man (woman) with the qualities listed above? They are rare. But GOD knows where such men (women) are located.

Turn in your Bible to Ephesians 5:23. Scripture states, for the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word. That He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.

STOP! Now go back and re-read that passage. God is offering us a blueprint on what to look for in a mate. Let's pick that scripture apart.

1. The husband is head of the wife. That means that you need to choose a man who is born-again. He also needs to be a man under whose authority you will feel comfortable submitting. It is dangerous to submit to the authority of a man who is not saved or who does not have a relationship with God.
2. The husband must love his wife as Christ loves the Church. That is a tough one! Look at the degree to which God loves His Church! He died for the Church (the entire body of Christ). How does God love us? He is kind, patient and nurturing to the Church. Those are the qualities you need to search for when determining who to marry.
3. The husband must sanctify, cleanse and wash his wife with the Word of God. Again, only a born-again man can wash you with the Word of God. Think about the dating ritual. Boy meets girl, they date, start to care deeply, and the subject of sex pops up. Question: HOW will the man handle it? God says that it is the responsibility of the man to see to it that he presents a woman clean and holy. If he is fornicating with her, how can he present her as clean and holy? Sex outside the marriage bond is dirty. Therefore, if you find yourself with a man trying to fornicate with you, you have the wrong man. God says that He presents the Church (His Bride!) without spot, wrinkle or blemish. Your future husband must present you at the altar without spot, wrinkle or blemish. Furthermore, even if you become weak and want to fornicate, he must be able to WASH you with God's Word. He is responsible for you! This is important. Please listen so that you don't end up miserable.

In Ephesians, 5:31 the scripture states that, For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church...God hates divorce. However, He also hates abuse. God does not want you physically or mentally abused. He certainly does not want you disrespected by a man (woman) committing adultery against you. Too many women (men) in this country, in their quest for a mate are settling with people who are not worthy of them. The reason so many people are in unhappy marriages is that they latched onto the wrong person to please society, family or friends. Now they are stuck with a mean, unaffectionate, or abusive mate.

It is not too late for you. If you pick the right mate from the beginning, you will not end up hurt and miserable (divorced). Listen carefully, GOD says that when you marry, you become ONE with that person. God no longer sees you as separate, but He sees you and your mate as ONE person. We cannot fully comprehend it because God says it's a great mystery! Think about your boy/girlfriend. Do you see yourself becoming ONE with them? If you have problems after marriage it's because something was broken before marriage (that was obviously ignored). If you do not have a boy/girlfriend yet, GREAT! Now you know what to look for! Too many people are getting married multiple times. God is not pleased with that. He sees it as adultery. It is His will that we marry once, create a family with that one person, and be happy...ecstatic in that marriage.

The scriptures also states, the man shall leave his parents. Check out the family of the man that you are considering marrying! Are they always leaning on him, trying to borrow his money? Are you in agreement with them always calling him to the house to take care of their personal problems? Guess what? It will not end after marriage. If he is giving them money now, he will continue after marriage. If his family is leaching off of him now, they will after marriage. The question is, can you handle it? If not, now is the time to discuss the problem. Don't wait. Too many men refuse to leave their father and mother. Too many women refuse to leave their parents. Extended families are famous for breaking up marriages. NOW is the time to get the problems straight.

Finally, how attracted are you to your future spouse? Please do not marry if there is a shadow of a doubt that you are totally attracted to them physically. Too many women lose their husbands because after marriage they stop having sex. The reason many women stop having sex is because their husbands are cold, rude and abusive. If you are married to a man who has the qualifications of the "faithful man" listed above in this article, you will be attracted to him forever, emotionally and physically! Women who do not want sex with their husbands are women who married the wrong man. PLEASE ladies; do not marry the wrong man. Wait. In Solomon 3:4, it is said, I found him whom my soul loves. The reason she found the one whom her soul loves is that she was PATIENT! Luke 21:19 says, in your patience possess ye your soul. The interpretation of that for a single person is that if you are patient, you will meet the one whom your soul loves.

Monday, November 11, 2002

Happy Veteran's Day. I am personally happy and proud that there are men and women out there who have and do continue to make the United States a safe place to live (including my uncle James!)
This is the first posting to my blog. I had to be a copycat and create on of my own. Carlos Butler is my gero (geek hero). I currently have nothing to say but welcome to my little piece of the world. I'm sure something profound will come up sooner or later. I've incorporated comments as well so you can leave your own words behind.
Some of you may be wondering where I came up with my blog title. Well for those that don't know my full name is Ayaba Monshelle McNeal. You still aren't getting princess out of that are you. OK...well, my first name means princess. It's Yoruba. A friend of my parents helped them come up with it. So now you can say that you know royalty. :)