Friday, February 28, 2003

Lots of Weekend, Nothing to Do
It's Friday and it's flying by. I have no plans for the weekend. I had one friend who wanted to hang out but now he is helping another friend move. I had one person I just met who promised to cook me dinner tonight. He has to work. That may be a good thing because he thought he would get some just for cooking me a meal. I'm not that cheap or easy. You want some - you need to be buying steak (preferably porterhouse or t-bone cooked medium rare, thanks!). So now I have zero plans. I was beginning to feel popular and wanted but that feeling is waning since I haven't had any plans that have gelled. It's like feeling like the plane is going to take off and getting grounded over and over. If I was less of a woman I would let it deter me and get my spirits down. Luckily I don't. There has to be someone out there who will make plans with me and keep them. I'll just have to keep looking.

My Not So Secret Admirer
I have a secret admirer. I like it. It makes me feel more special than I usually do. I know who this person is and have know him for a while. We met in college. The mystery adds a nice little twist. We'll see what happens. As I mentioned previously (I think I did but if I didn't I am now), he expressed interest when we went out a few months ago but nothing has happened since. It's kind of like a blast from the past and a gentle reminder that I am still as cute and sexy as I thought I was then. I needed a reminder, right? Well I do. Women appreciate good ego stroking every now and again. The plot thickens...we'll see what develops...

Thursday, February 27, 2003

I didn't get to blog the past couple of days because I was traveling for work. It was my first time and it was OK. I went to a photoshoot in Indianapolis. I was interested to see how the process for the photoshoot would go but I'm glad I brought my Handspring so I could play games. The best part of my trip - room service when I got there and breakfast in the morning. I was tired. I sat on the couch (I stayed at an Embassy Suites) and ate a burger and a hot fudge brownie sundae. In the morning I went to their complimentary breakfast. I love Embassy Suites if for no other reason than the free breakfast. Hmmm....hmmm...good!

It's No Longer A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood...
Everyone's favorite neighbor passed away today. I loved Mr. Rogers. I'm one of those kids that grew up on him. If you are interested in learning more about his show and lifetime milestones, visit PBS Kids.

When It Rains It Pours...
My daughter's great-grandmother (Anita Forney bka GG Forney) passed away yesterday. When my daughter asked me where GG Forney was, I told her GG Forney was with God. When she asked me why GG Forney died, I told her that she hadn't been feeling well for awhile. My daugher replied right away "GG feels much better now!" My daughter is precious. She's the best blessing I've ever received. Before she went to bed she said she wanted to say good bye to GG Forney so she got in the window and waved into the sky. She's taking it surprisingly well and understands the circumstances. The services look to be on Monday so I will just have to watch her and see how she does. Just let me say, GG Forney was a feisty old lady who loved life. She was stubborn and proud and lived life to the fullest. I can't wait to be like her when I grow up!

Monday, February 24, 2003

My So-Called Weekend
This was a weekend that I can say I needed to relax and was glad I did. I stayed late at work on Friday because I had to get something printed (in color) and in the mail for delivery Monday by 9:00 am. luckily the 5 copies I needed to send printed first because right after that both color printers DIED. Let me just say Jam in area 4/System Fault = Belly-Up copier. Of course when I got to work today and reported them to Office Services (like the good little worker I am), they both worked fine. ARRGGGHHH!!! Saturday I stayed in bed. I got out of bed to eat, pee, and take a shower. The only thing that would have made it better would have been to take a bath, but cleaning the bathroom, let alone the tub, was not on my list of things to do. I pretty much spent the day reading. Since this is my favorite pasttime, I was deliciously happy and toasty warm in the heated heaven I call a waterbed. Sunday I went to church and then to a Black History Month celebration at my great-uncle's church. It lasted over 2 hours...the church started to get warm after a while and my child started to get restless. The saving grace was that the program was good, and I got to see a friend from high school that I haven't seen since her 21st birthday. Needless to say that was some 7.5 years ago. It makes me sad that I was so close to people in high school and have since lost touch. I'm not one of those people that gathers many people closely around me so when I see a tie that's lost I tend to take it personally. On the other hand when they come back into my life it's like they never left which just lets me know we were good friends in the first place. All in all it wasn't such a bad weekend afterall.

A Woman That Reads:
Since my trip to the library last Monday (2/17), I've read 6 - yes count 'em - 6 books. They have ranged in subject matter which is probably why I blew through them so quickly. Luckily I have about 6 more at home to read so I'm not worried about losing out on subject matter. I'm going to have to blog about each one separately (unless one is a sequel to the other) but I look forward to people getting to know me through my reading habits. What have I read so far:

Married Men by Carl Weber
The Alchemist by Donna Boyd
The Passion by Donna Boyd
The Promise by Donna Boyd
The Broke Diaries by Angela Nissel
What You Owe Me by Bebe Moore Campbell

I'll do my own online reviews later.

Cause Baby I'm A Star
Don't forget to watch Matthew Jones on Crossing Jordan tonight. He'll be towards the end of the episode. Watch closely and quickly. He thinks he may be too backlit to be really seen, but he has two lines...

Friday, February 21, 2003

Cause Baby I'm A Star
If you didn't watch ER last night you missed a great performance by Matthew Jones. He burst on the scene as the police officer who interacts with 2 of the principals for about 30 seconds. Plus he got a close up. I thought he was great! He had wonderful screen presence. If you did miss it, catch him on Crossing Jordan on Monday. He reports that he has more screen time and lines. I can't wait! For all of you interested, I will be selling his signature on ebay soon. I expect that sale to keep me in the lap of luxury for awhile. And if you believe that I would sell anything on ebay let alone a friend's signature - I have to swamp property I want to sell you.

Not Even One Drink
I went out last night to celebrate my ex-boss's going away. Not only did they have some finger food they had some complimentary drinks. Did I have any alcohol? No! I'm still fighting my cold and I had to drive home. Not exactly conducive for me drinking copious amounts of alcohol but believe me I wanted to. I caved under adult responsibility. Now I regret it...I should have drank like a fish and lived to tell the tale. Maybe next time...

Secret Admirer
I have a secret admirer...not so secret because I know who he is but will remain a secret because he hasn't put himself out there like that. I respect his desire to remain secret. This could be an interesting situation. I'm not going to dwell on it, I'm just going to see what happens.

Thursday, February 20, 2003

I added a button on my site that records the site statistics (i.e. who visits, from where, etc). It's pretty cool and it makes me feel better about the fact that I feel like no one reads my blog but Carlos. This free piece of code lets me know in fact that more people do read my blog than just Carlos. In addition, I've been a little more proactive about getting my blog in front of more people. I joined the Chicago webring for one. And, I've added my blog address to my email signature so everytime I send an email, people are pointed to my blog. This gives me the incentive to update frequently and often whether I have anything to say or not.

A Social Life - Say It Ain't So
I'm actually going out after work today. My old boss is leaving the company and tonight is the big going away shindig. While it will be mostly people from the job I am going to stop by because I like the man and who doesn't need an excuse to drink. Especially when I don't do it that often. I've never really been into the bar scene. Probably because I was with someone for 7 years who couldn't handle more than 2 beers. Takes all the fun out of the situation. Plus I'm interested to see which of my other ex-co workers show up. If I'm really lucky I may be able to meet a friend for dinner which would be nice. Since we don't get to go out as often as he would like. Stay tuned!

A Woman that Reads
I went to the library on Monday and got several books. In addition I put a few on hold which have since come in. Luckily my dad is at home on medical disability and is able to pick them up for me. As I read them I'll offer a little synopsis. It will be like an online book club since I can't seem to make it to the once a month deal sponsored by City-Alert. Another experiment in the making!

Wednesday, February 19, 2003

I've been meeting people online. I have no problem with doing this. It's how I met my ex and made some really good friends. The problem with this method is that you tend to talk a lot of mess and then you meet the people and they can't back it up. I've since stopped touting my skills (which are excellent) and just keep silent. Most men will dig a hole for themselves and not be able to get out of it nor am I throwing in a rope. I figure if you are going to talk that much sh*t you should be able to back it up or stop talking it. And I will talk about you if you are bad. I don't discriminate. I will talk about you if you are good too. I say all this to say I've met someone online who is talking the talk and I don't know if he can walk the walk. Unfortunately, it will be a while before I find out because I've long since put being into casual sex on the shelf. I'm in the I want to get to know you and be friends camp right now. He has offered to cook dinner for me which is a plus. He also is a single parent which is a plus. Let's me know he's responsible. He's something of a local celebrity which I don't know if that's a plus or minus. I'll keep you posted.
I have a friend that I have been hanging out with that was supposed to call me on Monday (my day off) to hang out. He called me today. Now the problem is that I'm sure he wants to get more involved romantically and I don't. I like spending time with him and the kisses but that's about it. I really enjoy his company. Why is this so bad? It isn't. I just haven't told him that I'm not interested in more than what I'm getting. I'm having a problem communicating this. I like him and cherish his friendship. I'm just not sure how he'll handle that statement. My gut says he'll take it as rejection and that isn't my intent which is why I've put off talking to him about it. I admit - I'm being a coward. I'm kicking myself in the butt for not just saying what's on my mind. A part of me says I'm being too nice but at the same time I'm being selfish. I have a relationship that is either on the verge of something "WOW" or it's going to crash and burn and I think I like having my friend around because he's the safety net. It's not a nice thing to do but currently he isn't asking for more than what he is getting which is spending time with me. Let's see how this plays out shall we.

Tuesday, February 18, 2003

Today was a weird day. I'm still fighting this cold and quite honestly it's kicking my ass. I felt kind of loopy like I wasn't getting any work done but I know I was. I'm being kidnapped as well. I've been working my way around some feelings and they finally came to a head today. Needless to say now it's time for "THE TALK". We'll see how it goes. Quite frankly I'm rather optimistic. Good or bad you can bet I'll blog about it tomorrow or the next day depending on how I feel.

Monday, February 17, 2003

I'm blogging from my public library. I am trying to multi-task and failing miserably. I need to access my online investment account and of course the PIN I need is at work. I'M NOT AT WORK...ARGGGHHHH! I figured I would use the rest of my time to check work email (not a lot Thank the Lord) and blog about my weekend. So let's see...

Friday was the Lover's Holiday. While I admit I have a lover, he isn't my valentine. I ended up going out to dinner with my daughter and my ex. Benningan's of all places. We both realized that we have outgrown Bennigan's but it only took us 30 minutes to get in on a snowy packed Friday. We were taking what we could get. The food wasn't that bad but it wasn't that great either...again, we have long since outgrown Bennigan's.

Saturday was the Auto Show. Again, I went with my ex and my daughter. This has turned out to be a family weekend. The show was mediocre. There wasn't anything there that really knocked our socks off. My daughter just loves the fact that she can get in cars and pretend to drive. She definitely had more fun than her parents. I guess the fact that we both bought new cars last year doesn't help either.

Sunday was recuperation day. I have been fighting a cold all week. I even took Wednesday off. I stayed in the bed and skipped church. I can't shake the congestion or the cough. It's making me miserable. Luckily the rest is helping. Just not fast enough for me. I'm ready for my cold to be gone. I only get one a year and it's time for this one to be UP!

Monday is a holiday - hence the reason I'm at the library. I have some books on my list that I want to get and figured I would utilize the free internet access. Since there is no line for computers is currently unlimited as well. :) I'm still sick but I had to drag myself out of the house before I went a little stir crazy. Tomorrow it's back to the daily grind.

Friday, February 14, 2003

Today is Valentine's Day. I want to say "Happy Valentine's Day" to all those in love and love someone. Valentine's Day has always been big in my house. I'm not sure why but I've always remembered it being that way. For that reason alone I'm wearing red today because I don't have a Valentine. I don't have a Valentine and I'm comfortable with that. You have to get to a point in your life where you are comfortable with you and I've reached it. It makes me a lot more tranquil and I find that I'm speaking my mind more rather than holding my peace. I feel like I'm transitioning into adulthood on my own terms which I rather like. A good portion of our lives is built around pleasing someone. Well currently that someone is me. Of course I say this because I'm not in a committed relationship but I think my views on that have changed in the past year as well. The change in me is being noticed by others and it's all good so I can actually say "Happy Valentine's Day" and mean it!

Thursday, February 13, 2003

I've mentioned more than once today that I am having a bad day. I want to revise that stance. I'm not having a bad day, I'm having a sick day. What's the difference? I'm sick...because I'm sick it's having a negative impact on the rest of my day. My head is stuffed up and I feel like I'm hearing, thinking and talking around cotton. Everything is muffled. The worst part of it...I have little kid germs. Little kid germs are the worst on the planet. My daughter caught something, mutated it and then passed it on to me! I took yesterday off and I'm so glad I did. I couldn't even contemplate leaving my bed. Today I'm on tea and noodles. Only because I can't taste anything and that would make getting something that I know tastes good even worse. Plus I passed out this morning. Thinking I was feeling much better, I hopped out of bed. My equilibrium got the best of me and I woke laying on the floor. Isn't that great? Luckily I know why I blinked out for a second but I was glad no one was around to witness me in a definitely unladylike manner. As for taking medications, I'm not. I need to be alert and awake to function. I don't have the liberty of going home and passing out. I have a four-year old to watch. One who doesn't understand the concept of "Mommy needs to rest, please play in your room and don't wake me up". Am I bitching and fishing for sympathy? Yes! Where is it? Send plenty my way - SOON!
I was having a bad day and the following page actually cheered me up. It even got a laugh out of me. Not a belly laugh mind you but I did chuckle a bit...don't you want to chuckle too? Then click away...Flattery will get you everywhere!
I pass a church on my way to and from work that has some of these one-liners on its sign. I've always contemplated posting about them. Then I received this email that had a good portion of them compiled. The work was done for me...of course I have to post them.

26 One-Liners About God
1. Give God what’s right—not what’s left.
2. Man’s way leads to a hopeless end—God’s way leads to an endless hope.
3. A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing.
4. He who kneels before God can stand before anyone.
5. In the sentence of life, the devil may be a comma—but never let him be the period.
6. Don’t put a question mark where God puts a period.
7. Are you wrinkled with burden? Come to the church for a face-lift.
8. When praying, don’t give God instructions - just report for duty.
9. Don’t wait for six strong men to take you to church.
10. We don’t change God’s message—His message changes us.
11. The church is prayer-conditioned.
12. When God ordains, He sustains.
13. WARNING: Exposure to the Son may prevent burning.
14. Plan ahead—It wasn’t raining when Noah built the ark.
15. Most people want to serve God, but only in an advisory position.
16. Suffering from truth decay? Brush up on your Bible.
17. Exercise daily—walk with the Lord.
18. Never give the devil a ride—he will always want to drive.
19. Nothing else ruins the truth like stretching it.
20. Compassion is difficult to give away because it keeps coming back.
21. He who angers you controls you.
22. Worry is the darkroom in which negatives can develop.
23. Give Satan an inch & he’ll be a ruler.
24. Be ye fishers of men—you catch them. He’ll clean them.
25. God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
26. Read the Bible—It will scare the hell out of you.

I was having a bad day (more on that later) but this made me put it into perspective...


There was a case in one hospital's Intensive Care ward where patients
always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11 a.m., regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery... as to why the deaths occurred around 11 a.m. on Sundays. So a World-Wide team of experts
was assembled to investigate the cause of the incidents. The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11 a.m., all doctors and
nurses nervously wait outside the ward to see for themselves what! the
terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits. Just when the clock struck 11... Pookie Johnson, The part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so that he could use the vacuum cleaner.

Having a Bad Day?

The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill
in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.

Still think you are having a bad day?

A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with ! a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.

STILL think you're having a bad day?

Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany. Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly. The two hopeless protesters were trampled to death.

What?! STILL having a bad day?

Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.

There, now, feeling better?

Tuesday, February 11, 2003

Need a laugh? This is hilarious! The extended version of the commercial: Terry Tate
The Oscar nominations were announced today. Yahoo has a pretty inclusive site. Plus they have a sweepstakes going on with Diet Pepsi. I love sweepstakes. I never win but I enter. Want more a look yourself: Yahoo! Movies: 75th Academy Awards

Monday, February 10, 2003

I went to my first women's retreat this past weekend. The topic was "Bad Girls of the Bible and What We Can Learn from Them". Apparently a lot...I need to sort all of this out and see how best to apply it to my life. I'm going to have some tough decisions to make in the next few weeks if I want to continue to grow spiritually, mentally and physically. Quite frankly I don't relish making them but my salvation is in my hands. That's scary too. Who did we learn about: Eve, Rahab and Lot's Wife (who didn't have a name). She's only referred to as Lot's wife. I'm going to go through my notes and post what I learned. If you want scriptures or additional info you should make comments or email me. We'll see how this online self-discovery goes. P.S. Valentine's Day is Friday and I don't have a Valentine and I don't feel like I'm missing out on something. Last year this time it was pretty much high anxiety for the day and this year I'm content in being single on a lover's holiday. I guess that's a step in the direction of maturity. I'll have to see how I feel once Valentine's day is passed.
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE... old love she can imagine going back to...
and one who reminds her how far she has come...

...enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her
own even if she never wants to or needs to...

...something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her dreams
wants to see her in an hour...

...a youth she's content to leave behind...

...a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in
her old age...

...a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra... friend who always makes her laugh... and one who lets her cry...

...a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her

...eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a
meal that will make her guests feel honored..

...a feeling of control over her destiny...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... to fall in love without losing herself... to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend
without ruining the friendship...

...when to try harder... and when to walk away...

...that she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her
hips, or the nature of her parents...

...that her childhood may not have been perfect...but its over...

...what she would and wouldn't do for love or more... to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...

...whom she can trust, whom she can't, and why she shouldn't take it

...where to go... be it to her best friend's kitchen table... or a
charming inn in the woods... when her soul needs soothing...

...what she can and can't accomplish in a day... a month...and a

... know that you are truly loved and thought of by the friend who sent
this to you... and that she only wishes the best for you and your life.

Wednesday, February 05, 2003

I liked these...they made me feel good.

How To Stay Young
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctor worry about them. That is why you pay him/her.
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. “ An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.” And the devil’s name is Alzheimer’s.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it’s family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don’t take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
As I've become more intimate with my faith and my beliefs have deepened, whenever I ask a question or have a particular conversation, I open myself up to the answer that God is going to send me. Ironically, it's usually by email but I guess God figures he can reach me that way. I was having doubts about myself the other day and just feeling down in general and and carrying on a running dialog with God. I do pray, but more often than not I carry on a running dialog. Some people would just say I'm talking to myself but I chose to think of it differently. Anywho, I got this message. On time all the time...

Why am I here? What is my purpose in life? What is God's vision for my life? These are questions that often go unanswered in many of our lives. Deep within us we have a desire to know why we are on this planet. We have a craving to know our purpose and what is the meaning to our life. The answer is not on some mountain top in the Alps. The answer is not in the deep blue sea. The answer is not under some rock in the desert. The answer lies within each of us.For the believer, there is a place deep within us that has all the answers that we have been searching for. Deep in this place of Peace, lies the still small voice of God. Today, let us be quiet and be still and asked this Powerful presence, the Holy Spirit, to show us our purpose. As we let all of the noise of this world fade, the Voice of Truth will speak and God's will for our lives will be revealed. It is the light that will guide and lead us to the place of Peace, Happiness and Joy. It is the place where we have been longing for and where we belong.
Please take this quiz...I thought it was very amusing: Arse or Elbow
i've been informed that i don't blog enough...which is true. i need to have a way to blog on the go. everytime i find something i want to blog about i'm never near a computer. i asked for one for christmas but got diamond earrings instead - a ring would have been better but that's another story. by the time i get to work i have a head full of stuff i want to blog but get bogged down with...what get home...damn i didn't blog...get to home..damn i didn't's a pretty vicious cycle which i haven't been very successful in breaking. on the other hand, i feel like i'm blogging for my own sake. i don't know if anyone really reads my blog - it's seems a waste to continue to post for my own enjoyment. i mean i think i'm hilariously funny and a great wit. does anyone else. who knows...i don't get any comments. this has proven to be a great place to dump email but then i have like 5 posts in one day on any number of topics. anywho, i say all that to say what...not a damn thing. i'm just having a pity party of 1. i do have some things i want to blog my daughter. she is hilarious and a delight and a terror all rolled up into one. the vixen got in trouble last week not once, not twice, not thrice (nice word that) but four times. once for not listening and the other time for getting 3 timeouts in one day for running. now i asked her where is she supposed to run. she says: outside and bikes 'n' slides. so she knows where she's supposed to run just doesn't do it. she wants to do her own thing. so i had to get in that butt. say what you want about not disciplining children but when you have your own you can talk. plus she was grounded: had to stay in her room all day. she could only come out to eat and go to the bathroom. she also got no tv for a week and no mcdonald's for a week. for a 4 year old this is torture. her father and i just want her to understand that we take school very seriously and she needs to as i want her to remember that spanking in case she wants to get 3 timeouts in one day again. more later...stay posted...i've been inspired by another blog to just talk about everyday life...hell it's my blog i can say what i want...don't like it...that's what comments are for.