Wednesday, February 19, 2003

I have a friend that I have been hanging out with that was supposed to call me on Monday (my day off) to hang out. He called me today. Now the problem is that I'm sure he wants to get more involved romantically and I don't. I like spending time with him and the kisses but that's about it. I really enjoy his company. Why is this so bad? It isn't. I just haven't told him that I'm not interested in more than what I'm getting. I'm having a problem communicating this. I like him and cherish his friendship. I'm just not sure how he'll handle that statement. My gut says he'll take it as rejection and that isn't my intent which is why I've put off talking to him about it. I admit - I'm being a coward. I'm kicking myself in the butt for not just saying what's on my mind. A part of me says I'm being too nice but at the same time I'm being selfish. I have a relationship that is either on the verge of something "WOW" or it's going to crash and burn and I think I like having my friend around because he's the safety net. It's not a nice thing to do but currently he isn't asking for more than what he is getting which is spending time with me. Let's see how this plays out shall we.

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