Friday, December 13, 2002

Good Black Woman
Everyone reading this either:
1. Is a good black woman.
2. Has a good black woman.
3. Will be blessed with a good black woman soon.
4. Has met a "Good Black Woman" but failed to recognize her.

Good Black Women are indeed all around us. We pass them on the streets, in the malls and in the halls at work. Most we can't see because we don't know what a good woman really looks like. She usually isn't flashy enough or rich enough to turn our heads. She might not wear a suit or push a Lexus. She might not have a "body like Tyra or Janet.

She may not have a face like Halle or Nia. But, as you mature, you realize it's better to find someone who's got your back rather than someone who turns your head. A good woman doesn't agree wholeheartedly with everything you say. She doesn't just tell you what you want to hear and do the opposite.

She doesn't declare how sensitive, sweet, caring, sincere, yada, yada she is (she won't have to because it shows). She has her own opinions and yours may clash, but she doesn't have to degrade you to prove she's right. She even admits at times to being wrong, especially if you are willing to do the same. A good woman is not going to meet every item on your checklist.

She is human with frailties and faults mixed in with all of her wonderful, strong attributes. She needs your love and respect. She needs to feel that you don't live to "catch" her doing something wrong so you can declare, "Aha! I knew you were a dog!" A good woman isn't insecure about her man having great achievements. In fact she is his number one supporter and becomes disappointed with him when he begins to lose himself, for the sake of "not hurting her feelings, or I just want to make her happy." Her happiness comes with seeing him excel in his dreams and accomplishing his goals.

For as he excels and is exalted, a good man will bring his good woman right along with him. A good woman doesn't necessarily give you a huge birthday or Valentine's gift. She shows her love in the ways that are comfortable to her. Don't judge her by TV standards. No one is really living a fairy tale. You'll miss out on your fairy tale by buying into the myth that our women are no good.

It's just not true.


Salute them, and thank them for who they are and all they do.
by Tavis Smiley

What Black people need to do now, not worry about stem cell research or cloning, cause they ain't thinking about using any one of them on us.

What Black people need to do now, invest in businesses in Harlem while Clinton is still there and then sell it before Hillary moves his behind back to Manhattan.

What Black people need to do now, support Iyanla and Ananda the way that white folks supported Rosie.

What Black people need to do now, stop wearing Capri pants when your ankles look like you been kicking white flour.

What Black people need to do now, is realize there is a difference between being Ghetto and being tasteless, there is a difference, y'all.

What Black people need to do now, recognize that Spike Lee's and Keenan Ivory Wayan's true legacy might not be in filmmaking but in discovering talent and granting opportunities. I challenge you to look at their resumes these guys have put forth for Black America and White America to consider.

What Black people need to do now, be afraid right now of the next Eminem.

What Black people need to do now, don't let white America hold Jesse Sr.'s infidelity against Jesse Jr.'s burgeoning career, can't let that happen folks.

What Black people need to do now, is keep supporting FUBU, Sean John and Phat Farm, I think this plan is working.

What Black people need to do now, somebody please find Starr Jones a man.

What Black people need to do now, after the Gospel Slide, we need to stop it right there y'all, we done gone too far now.

What Black people need to do now, recognize that Jill Scott might be the Maya Angelou of our generation and hope that white folks don't try to steal her from us.

What Black people need to do now, stop aspiring to Harvard while good schools like [Albany State University], [Clark Atlanta University], Howard, Hampton [and Tougaloo] are still open.

What Black people need to do now, wonder why every color M&M's have gotten a commercial except the brown ones.

What Black people need to do now, is stop calling our two year old kids smart and cute just because they know the words to the nasty songs on the videos.

What Black people need to do now, stop going on job interviews dressed like you are going to a party.

What Black people need to do now, stop trying to win money on those survival type games on TV. Just like in the movies, we are always the first ones to get voted out. Get real, y'all.

What Black people need to do now, they need to know as much about investing in the stock market as we do about all the characteristics of the Zodiac signs. Ask average Black folk what the NASDAQ is, they don't know nothing, but tell them you're a Scorpio and they will give you the low down!!!!

What Black people need to do now, need to get their bank accounts and credit cards out of the red instead of walking around with all their teeth covered in gold, especially if you're still riding the bus and living at yo' Momma's house.'

What Black people need to do now, need to stop naming our kids after liquor and expensive cars, I've had enough of that.

What Black people need to do now, need to stop getting mad when their boss tells them to get off the phone at work and you've been on a two hour personal phone call, 'why you mad about that?'

What Black people need to do now, need to learn how to dab just a little cologne and not the whole bottle.

What Black people need to do now, turn down the volume on our TVs and CD players so we can stop walking around talking so loud all the time.

What Black people need to do now, stop spending 40 to 50 million dollars to build a church and you walk outside on the same street stepping over homeless folks. Can I get a witness!!!

Wednesday, December 11, 2002

You know you grew up in the '80s if....aka You are Older Than Dirt and Here's Proof
1) You ever ended your sentence with "psych"
2) You solved the Rubics peeling off the stickers
3) You watched the pound puppies
4) You can sing the rap to "the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air"
5) You wore biker shorts under your skirts and felt stylish
6) You yearned to be a member of the Baby-sitters club and tried to start a club of your own.
7) You owned those little Strawberry Shortcake pals scented dolls
8) You know who Six is from Blossom
9) Three words: M.C. Hammer
10) You can sing the entire theme song! to "Duck Tales"
11) If you played the chipmunks Christmas album all year long!
12) The crypt keeper really freaked you out
13) Remember reading Kool-Aid man comics
14) You ever watched Fraggle Rock
15) You had plastic streamers on the handle bars of your bike
16) When it was actually worth getting up early on Saturday to watch cartoons
17) You wore a pony tail to the side of your head
18) You saw the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on the big screen
19) You got super-excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school
20) You made your mom buy you one of those clips that would hold your shirt in a knot on the side
21) You had a Kirk Cameron poster on your bedroom wall
22) You played the game "Mash" with friends at school
23) You wore a Jordache jean jacket and you were proud of L.A. GEAR
24) Your mother wouldn't let you have garbage pail kids
25) You remember reading "Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing" and all the Ramona books
26) You know the profound meaning of "Wax on, Wax off"
27) You wanted to be a Goonie
28) You ever wore fluorescent, neon if you will, clothing
29) You wanted to be on StarSearch
30) You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off
31) You took Lunch boxes to school
32) You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the ONLY female smurf
33) You remember the craze, and then the banning of slap bracelets
34) You still get the urge to use "NOT" at the end of every statement you make
35) You remember Hypercolor T-shirts
36) Barbie and the Rockers was your favorite band
37) You remember Punky Brewster
38) You loved Howard the duck
39) You thought Sheera and He-man should hook up
40) You thought your childhood friends would never leave because you exchanged "friendship bracelets"
41) You ever owned a pair of Jelly Shoes
42) After you saw Pee-Wee's Big Adventure you couldn't stop saying "I know you are but what am I?"
43) You remember "I've fallen...and I can't get up!"
44) When you watched Family Matters and wanted to beat Steve Urkels ass
45) You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates (WORD!)
46) You ever got seriously injured on a slip and slide
47) You know not to mix poprocks and soda
48) You have played with a 'skip-it'
49) You had or went to a birthday party at McDonald's
50) If you've ever wanted to go to Degrassi High
51) You ever sat on or used one knee on a skateboard
52) You learned oldies songs by watching Alvin and the Chipmunks
53) You had a Glow Worm or watched the cartoon
54) You remember dancing along with the Bangles in "Walk Like An Egyptian"
55) If you remember Heathcliff the orange cat
56) You saw the California Raisins Christmas claymation special
57) You've gone through this list occasionally saying "That wasn't from the 80's"
58) You remember Popples
59) DON'T WORRY, BE HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!
60) You wore socks over tights with high-top Reeboks
61) You wore like 8 pairs of socks at once, scrunched down
63) You remember boom boxes instead of CD players
64) You remember watching both "Gremlins" movies
65) You remember the gimp fad
66) You remember the Transformers
67) You had to buy a pair of overalls when everyone started wearing them
68) You knew what it meant to say: "Care bear stare!!" and you had a favorite
69) You remember Rainbow Bright and MY Little Pony
70) You remember watching TV thinking Doogie Howser was hot!
71) You remember Alf, the little furry brown alien from Malmac
72) You remember the large amounts of hairspray used
73) You remember those very stylish headbands
74) You remember Vicky the Robot
75) You remember Eve Garland from Out of this World and how she could stop time by pressing the tips of her index fingers together and talking to her dad through a glowing cube in her bedroom
76) You remember the beginning of New Kids on the Block
77) You remember watching The Cosby show religiously
78) You remember Mr.Belvedere
79) You remember Michael J. Fox in Family Ties and Back to the Future
Very interesting.
The Enemy at the Gate
Like most hip young urbanites, I need three things: food, shelter and a damn good pedicure. So, as I made my weekly sojourn to the flagship Randall's grocery store, I stopped by the magazine aisle to stock up on my monthly reading staples: Essence, Black Enterprise and Cosmopolitan. As usual, I did my illegal reading of Jet magazine, which means, I read the whole thing from cover to cover without paying for it. As I drooled over the latest issue of Essence, with oh-so-fine Boris, I'm-hot-but-my-grill-is-jacked Shemar and I-think-I'm-cute Tyrese on the cover, I noticed the tagline at the top of the magazine: 'Forget Mr.Right! Create Your Own Wealth'. Nothing unusual, I thought, just the usual rhetoric about sista's who don't need a man, which has become commonplace in Essence. However, as I picked up my Cosmo in the white girls section, I noticed that most of their articles had a common thread about how to get a man. They all had taglines such as 'Find your Sexual Soul Mate', 'Date like A Pro', 'Build That Relationship' and 'Find Him, Marry Him!' As I looked back at my Essence with three physically, handsome men on the cover that would make any sane sista' think about settling down, I was curious to know why Essence would go left, instead of right. Hmmmm. Why are sista's so geared towards accepting the fact that we may always be single? Is this an unfortunate situation that we have been accustomed to? The last ten years have left black woman with "I can and will live life without a man", tattooed across our foreheads.

So, I ask myself this question: are the gatekeepers of the media finally force-feeding us the "single til' I die" mentality that we've been whooping and hollering about all these years? Singledom is an accepted practice among most black urban professionals. A recent and interesting conversation with a mixed crowd of friends revealed some unpleasant truths. Some of us have settled in our minds that we are probably going to be single for the majority of our adult lives, while most of us are knee-deep in the dating game. Sista's are doing the multiple dating thing, sometimes all in one day. It's not unusual for one of my sista friends to hook up with one brotha' for coffee in the morning, another for a quick bit of lunch and then yet another for dinner and dancing later on that night. And, lest we forget, the brotha's are matching sista's date for date. They are just trying to spend as little money as possible in exchange for some company. This serial dating is supposed to be the in-thing for modern young urbanites. Marriage or even a steady, monogamous relationship is just an afterthought.

The media portrays today's black woman as confident, sassy, independent and most importantly, in no need of a man to run our show. Look at the movies geared towards us. Waiting to Exhale. How Stella got her Groove Back. Two Can Play That Game. All movies that scream, "this is how a 'real' black woman should be". The images of these types of women, who relish the thought of either getting rid of that damn negro or having a relationship that has absolutely nothing to do with getting married are becoming too commonplace for comfort. Even movies geared towards black couples and families are following this trend. Take The Best Man, for example. Nia Long's character, educated, smart and beautiful, is ridiculed for being too strong in her career, too independent for any man and eventually she ends up alone at the end of the movie. All this happens while some ditz with no career rides into the sunset with a fine football player and a couple of million dollars and another ditz with too many careers get's a marriage proposal. Let's look at Soul Food. The successful, beautiful lawyer played by Vanessa Williams ends up lonely and divorced while her ex-husband goes off to find a successful music career and the docile, submissive and crafty wife played by Vivica Fox keeps the whole family together. Huh? Isn't the strong black woman supposed to have it all? Where is her somewhere over the rainbow? Where is her damn marriage proposal? Where is her knight in shining black armor? Well, one strong black woman did get her marriage proposal. In The Brothers, Shemar Moore's character almost made it to the alter, despite the protests of his boys. However, after getting a serious case of cold feet and selective amnesia when he forgot to tell his bride-to-be the change in plans, we see a beautiful, successful black woman turn into a hysterical, gun-toting, neck rotating psycho bitch.

Now, let's take a look at the movies geared towards white women. The Wedding Planner. Sweet November. What Women Want. All movies with strong, independent white women. All are movies that explore relationships with white women. However, I noticed one startling difference between these and movies for black women. All these independent women, even the one that is dying in Sweet November, end up getting them a man. No matter how the character was portrayed, the end result was to show that life just isn't worth living without the right guy. Interesting, isn't it?

Even music pushes us away from cohabitation with a man. Who was hired to write, produce and perform the sassy title track for Charlie's Angels last year? Dream? Enya? Celine Dion? No, they picked Destiny's Child, whose audience, although white, includes a majority if young, black impressionable females, to loudly proclaim their independence from any man, for any thing they need. The gatekeepers of the media are not people that look like us. Face the facts, the entire entertainment industry is run by old white men. Look at Clive Davis, for God's sake. He is older then dirt and still turns out black artists. At the end of the day, all these record labels, artists, producers, writers, television executives and publishing houses are owned by the same people and they all look alike. So, if the gatekeepers of the media are allowing and encouraging these types of images to filter into the black community and we buy into it, are we subconsciously helping to justify the lack of strong, loving black relationships? Dazzling young urbanites are at a crossroads in our personal lives. We want to settle down, but we can't find someone who doesn't make us physically nauseous after six months. We want to find a mate, but we are so scared of losing our independence in the relationship, that we wear our ass on our shoulders. We want to find love, but we have so many strings and bylaws, rules and regulations, on what our idea of a relationship should be that the love becomes a distant afterthought.

Black women and black men, we have to ask the question: is this the society we have created for ourselves or have we allowed society to create it for us? How did we get to the point where we began to embrace the media images that sabotage our chances of finding a meaningful relationship? And, in some way, have we helped the gatekeepers of the media by buying into the drama? If the stereotypes are correct, we might as well accept the fact that we may be single for the rest of our natural lives. Those of us that do make an attempt at finding love will only get burned in the process. Those of us who don't are considered the lucky ones. Of course, there is the argument that it's all just entertainment and that in real life, black men really do want a black woman who is independent, educated and sassy. However, in the world of black love, reality doesn't fall too far from fiction and isn't it true that art often imitates life?
Three old men were sitting around complaining abouthow much their hands shook.

The first geezer said, "My hands shake so bad that when I shaved this morning I cut my face!"

The second old fogey one-upped him. "My hands shake so bad that when I trimmed my garden yesterday I sliced all my flowers!"

The third old man laughed and said, "That's nothing.My hands shake so bad that when I took a piss yesterday, I came three times."
Maude and Claude, both 91, lived in a senior citizen's residence. They met one day in the social center, and discovered over time that they enjoyed each other's company.

After several weeks of meeting for coffee, Claude asked Maude out for dinner and she accepted. They had a lovely evening and afterward Claude asked Maude to join him at his place for an after-dinner drink.

Things continued along a natural course and, age being no inhibitor, Maude soon joined Claude for a most enjoyable roll in the feathers.

As they were basking in the glow of the magic moments they'd shared, each was lost for a time in their own thoughts.

"If I'd known she was a virgin, I'd have been more gentle" thought Claude.

If I'd known he could still get it up, I'd have taken off my panty hose," thought Maude.
Two strangers are sitting in an adjacent seats in airplane. One guy says to the other, "Let's talk. I hear that the flight will go faster if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The other guy, who had just opened a good book, closes it slowly, takes off his glasses and asks, "What would you like to discuss?"

The first guy says, "Oh, I don't know; how about Nuclear Power?"

The other guy says, "OK, that could make for some pretty interesting
conversation. But let me ask you a question first: A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff. But the deer excretes pellets; the cow, big patties; and the horse, clumps of dried grass. Why is that?"

The first guy says, "I don't know."

The other guy says, "Oh? Well then, do you really think you're qualified to discuss Nuclear Power when you don't know shit?"
Common's New Album is out...check out the website...CoMMoN :: Electric Circus - In stores Now!

Tuesday, December 10, 2002

From the Food Ingredients First Website

Adults Say Candy Is A Welcome Guest During The Holidays
Kids Share Candy Cane Munching Strategies

9/12/2002 It`s that time of the year again! Bells are jingling, turkeys are roasting, families are mingling and everyone`s toasting a joyous holiday season. According to a recent National Confectioners Association survey, candy and chocolate are welcome guests during holiday celebrations, from stuffing stockings to filling candy bowls, and of course, hanging those traditional candy canes on the Christmas tree.

Eighty-nine percent of 1,000 adults surveyed said that candy plays a role in their winter holiday celebrations. Filling candy dishes with festive candies topped the list of how candy was enjoyed, with 72 percent of respondents sharing this holiday tradition. Giving or receiving a box of chocolates was also very popular, with 70 percent noting this as an anticipated holiday activity. Sixty-three percent of the surveyed adults also said they either give or receive holiday stockings stuffed with candy and other goodies.

The winter holidays of Christmas, Hanukkah and Kwanza create the third biggest "candy holiday," in sales for the confectionery industry, with only Halloween (number one in sales) and Easter being bigger. More boxed chocolates are sold between Thanksgiving and New Year`s Day than any other time of year. Also, more than 150 million chocolate Santas will be made for the season, along with 1.8 billion candy canes.

When it comes to candy canes, kids have some definite ideas on the best way to eat them. The National Confectioners Association recently surveyed 500 kids ages 6-11 years old to get the scoop on the best way to enjoy a candy cane. Most kids -- 54 percent -- say they eat their candy canes by sucking on them. Biting/crunching candy canes came in second, with 24 percent of boys and girls saying this is the best way to devour a candy cane, and 19 percent noted that licking the candy cane was their preference (2 percent didn`t know, 1 percent said "other"). Boys were nearly twice as likely to crunch their candy canes than girls (31 percent vs. 17 percent).

No matter how kids and adults enjoy their favorite holiday candies, one thing is certain -- they are a welcome part of the celebration, according to Larry Graham, president of the National Confectioners Association and Chocolate Manufacturers Association.

"Candy is a fun food that has always been a part of special celebrations," Graham says. "Best of all, eaten in moderation, candy can fit any healthy lifestyle while adding pleasure to our lives."

Friday, December 06, 2002

A Child's Worst Nightmare
A father asks his 10-year-old son if he knows about the birds and the bees. "I don't want to know!" the child says, bursting into tears. "Promise me you won't tell me!" Confused, the father asks, "what's wrong?". "Oh, dad," the boy sobs. "When I was six, I got
the 'There's no Santa speech'. At seven, I got the 'There's no Easter Bunny' speech. When I was eight, you hit me with the 'There's no tooth fairy' speech. If you're going to tell me that grownups don't really get laid, I'll have nothing left to live for!

Tuesday, December 03, 2002

I'm finished cleaning up my email box for now...enjoy all the postings and yes I know I still owe a Thanksgiving update (DS you are on my list)!
How Do You Turn & Walk Away?
How many people find that it is hard to walk away from the past? Relationships, jobs, friends, family, church, etc. There are times in life when walking away is the only option.

That unequally yoked relationship. You are moving in one direction and they are moving in another. You want one thing out of life and they want another. How do you turn and walk away?

What about the job that stopped challenging you years ago? Do you stay there because you are half way to retirement, or do you walk away and go do something that brings your joy back? How do you walk away?

What about those friendships that seem to keep going up and down? One day you are friends and the next day you are not. Do you stay in that friendship when it causes more hurt than happiness? Is this one of those who will be removed? How do you walk away?

What about the family member that continues to borrow all that you have? Do you continue to lend them the money/car/time, or do you step back and allow God to be God? How do you walk away from what you've done for so long?

What about the church that you stopped growing in many years ago? Do you stay there because that's the only church that you know, or do you move on to a new church where you will have spiritual growth? How do you walk away?

Walking away is not easy, staying is sometimes worse. When a situation no longer has grace, is it better to stay or leave? There are times when God is saying to walk away and there are times when He is saying to stay, but unless you have a personal relationship, you have no idea what He is saying. God will allow us to stay in things as long as we would like. It is up to us to listen when He says go. We should not get mad when things continue to go in the wrong direction, when God has given us His direction.

I didn't come today to say walk away, I came to ask the question "how do you walk away?" I too have asked this question many days and always heard the Lord say "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." That's the key, seek God for the answer. There are times when He will have a delay in His response. There are times when you will miss God's answer. There are times when you will stay regardless of His answer to you, but know that God is a God that always answers the prayers of the righteous. He answers in His time, not ours. Just wait for Him.

So how do you walk away? Ask God to order your steps and the walk becomes that's much easier.

Be blessed!
A Word Review
The most destructive habit..........................................Worry
The greatest joy........................................................Giving
The greatest loss..............................................Self-respect
The most satisfying work...............................Helping Others
The ugliest personality trait.................................Selfishness
The greatest problem to overcome.................................Fear
The most effective sleeping pill........................Peace of mind
The most powerful force in life.......................................Love
The most dangerous outcast..................................A Gossip
The worst thing to be without.......................................Hope
The deadliest weapon.........................................The Tongue
The two most power-filled words................................."I can"
The greatest asset.....................................................Faith
The most beautiful attire.........................................A Smile
Most prized possession..........................................Integrity
The most contagious spirit................................Enthusiasm
Our greatest teacher ........................................Experience
The most powerful channel of communication.............Prayer
Sister My Sister
Sister my Sister, can I speak with you for a minute?
No, I don't want to hear your business, cause I ain't trying to be in it.

I'd just like to talk with you if I could
and share my views on the lack of "real" sisterhood.

You see I'm guilty and maybe you are the same,
of judging my sisters without even knowing their name.

I look at their shape, comment on their hair
and talk about what they really should or shouldn't wear.

I roll my big eyes, I put my hands on my hips,
and not a kind word comes out of my "got the nerve" lips.

Why can't I just smile, wave and say "hey,
I'm down with you sister, have a nice day"

We need to stick together, it would be great if we could,
To promote unity, understanding and "real" sisterhood.

Without it we have nothing, why not go for it all,
for sisters united we stand, divided we fall.

So let's seize the moment, before the moment is gone.
Grasp this message Sister My Sister and PASS IT ON
I'm cleaning out my email inbox...hence all the miscellaneous posts. I've figured since so many people are reading my blog it would be easier to post things I would normally send out in mass emails here and reach many many more people. (I'm kidding myself but as long as I believe in the delusion - it's real). Enjoy!
Being a Woman of God
Just because no one has been fortunate enough to realize what a gold mine you are, doesn't mean you shine any less.

Just because no one has been smart enough to figure out that you can't be topped, doesn't stop you from being the best.

Just because no one has come along to share your life, doesn't mean that day isn't coming.

Just because no one has made this race worthwhile, doesn't give you permission to stop running.

Just because no one has realized how much of an awesome woman you are, doesn't mean they can affect your femininity.

Just because no one has come to take the loneliness away, doesn't mean you have to settle for a lower quality.

Just because no one has shown up who can love you on your level, doesn't mean you have to sink to theirs.

Just because you deserve the very best there is, doesn't mean that life is always fair.

Just because God is still preparing your king, doesn't mean that you're not already a Queen.

Just because your situation doesn't seem to be progressing right now, doesn't mean you need to change a thing.

Keep shining, Keep running,
Keep hoping, Keep praying,
Keep being exactly what you are already . . . COMPLETE!
Breast Cancer Bill

Please forward this to everyone in your address book.. If there was ever a
time when our voices and choices should be heard, this is one of those
times. If you are receiving this it's because I think you are a loving,
caring, person who will take the 30 seconds to go and vote on this issue...and send
it on to others you know who will do the same.

There's a bill called the Breast Cancer Patient Protection Act which will
require insurance companies to cover a minimum 48-hour hospital stay for
patients undergoing a mastectomy. It's about eliminating the "drive-through
mastectomy" where women are forced to go home hours after surgery against
the wishes of their doctor, still groggy from anesthesia and sometimes with
drainage tubes still attached. Lifetime Television has put this bill on
their web page with a petition drive to show your support. Last year over half the House signed on.

Sign the petition by clicking on the web site below and help women
living with breast cancer get the care they need and deserve!! There is no
cost or monetary pledge involved. You need not give more
than your name and zip code number.
According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa’s reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.

We should’ve known. ONLY women would be able to drag a fat-ass man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost!

Monday, December 02, 2002

I'm a delinquent...I haven't posted in ages. Not that my life is that exciting - but I have been doing things I could be talking about. I'll try to do better. On that note, not only am I a delinquent...I'm a bad friend. I missed several birthdays the past few months and need to get back on track. So here is a quick update and HAPPY BIRTHDAY to:

October 30 Aisha Lewis (this is my daughter's Godmother for goodness sakes)
November 4 Matthew Jones
November 6 Lisa Scott
November 14 Anita Forney
November 15 Michelle Truss (my own mother!!)
November 15 My daughter
November 23 Jack Volpi
December 2 Eric Gunter
December 7 Consuelo Cunningham

I will update the list as more names come up. If I missed any upcoming birthdays, I'm sorry in advance. :)