Tuesday, December 30, 2003

Holiday Recap

By the way...the holidays were wonderful. Nice and restful. Munchkin made out like a bandit with Christmas gifts (like all 5 year olds should) and Mommy got to sleep in. We will see what next year holds. Happy New Year!

1 Day Overdue and Counting...

MIT was officially due December 29. Obviously MIT has not made its grand entrance because I sit here typing this entry. I went to the doctor Saturday and was told I'm only 2 cm dilated (ONLY 2 CM!!!). It's time to take matters into my own hands. I also had to have a non-stress test. This is done to make sure the baby isn't under any stress by measuring the number of movements within a certain amount of time. MIT passed with flying colors. No-stress for the baby, lots of stress for Mommy. The grandparents on are high alert. Every time we call them the first question is "Is it time?" I asked my mother if every conversation was going to start like that she said "Yes. Is it time?" No it's not time!! So the nurse gave me some other options to "jumpstart" labor.

1. Walk. This actually works. I walked when I was pregnant with Munchkin and had her the next day. MD and I have some errands to run around the house so we are going to walk. We're both fat and out of shape anyway so the walk will do us good. :)
2. White Castle Hamburgers. All I can say is blechhhh!!! It would be an act of total desperation for me to eat White Castle hamburgers. I mean total desperation as in all other options have failed. Complete, total and desperate act of depravity.
3. Good sex. Yes, I repeat, Good Sex. Coming from the nurse I wasn't shocked. I think this is the option the MD would prefer since my libido has been zero to the zero power and he says I'm neglecting him. Outside of cuddling which I always like - except in the middle of the night when I feel like a fiery furnace and resort to taking of not only all my clothes but the covers as well - sex is not top of mind.
4. Eat something to cause me to go into labor. What?? If I knew what it was that would cause me to go into labor I would have eaten it by now. This particular option sucks.

With all that said, I am ready. MD came home from work early today because he was concerned I would go into labor and he wouldn't be here. Munchkin isn't here. She got to go to a hotel overnight with her cousin. The idea of playing in the pool and sleeping away from home outstripped staying at home with Mommy while we wait for the baby to get here. What can I say? If I had the opportunity to get away I would too. So for everyone that is wondering, the baby isn't here yet and now it's time to experiment with labor jumpstarting techniques. Wish me luck. If I'm fortunate the next post will be about the new baby and where you can send gifts and presents. :)

Saturday, December 27, 2003


Considering Jesus is the reason for the season, I thought this was appropriate. Thanks to my friend Lisa for sending.

1. The Bible still has the answers.
2. Prayer still works.
3. The Spirit can still move.
4. God still inhabits praise.
5. There is still anointed preaching.
6. There is still anointed singing.
7. God still pours out blessings.
8. There's still room at the cross.
9. Jesus still loves you.
10. Jesus still saves.

Be a blessing!

Monday, December 22, 2003

And Now A Break for Vacation

As of December 18, I am officially on vacation. What does this mean? Rest. I need it and with the baby due on December 29 it's my last chance to get it. There are other things that I need to do: laundry, Christmas shopping, pack my bag. It will have to wait. If I feel even the tiniest twinge of a nap coming on I got to sleep. I'm already having contractions (sporadic though they may be) and as time draws closer I'm just exhausted. So you can expect my posts for the next few weeks to be few and far between. Once the baby arrives they may pick up but it won't be because I have so much time on my hands taking care of a newborn and a 5 year old. It will be because I need the break. At any rate...Happy Holidays and Season's Greetings to all!

I'm on vacation...woohooo!!!

Thursday, December 18, 2003

More Holiday Fun

These things never seem to stop. Found this at Ursula's. She thought it was neat and so do I. Season's Greetings!

Tuesday, December 16, 2003

Holiday Fun

If you have a few minutes to wile the time away, here's a cute little online greeting card. Enjoy and Happy Holidays!
Strom Thurmond has to be turning over in his grave...

Thurmond Family Accepts Black Woman's Paternity Claim

The oldest son of the late Sen. Strom Thurmond won't challenge the claim of a woman who says she is the product of a secret affair between the one-time segregationist and a black maid.

Friday, December 12, 2003

Birth Number

I got this in my email box and wanted to share. Sometimes these things are pretty uncanny. I've marked those people that actually fit the profile below.
Your birth date describes who we are, what we are good at and what our inborn abilities are. It also points to what we have to learn and the challenges we are facing.

To figure out your Birth Number, add all the numbers in the birth date together, like the example, until there is only one digit. A Birth Number does not prevent you from being anything you want to be, it will just color your choice differently and give you a little insight.

Example: March 20, 1950
3 + 20 + 1950 = 1973 = 1 + 9 + 7 + 3 = 20 = 2 + 0 = 2

2 is the Birth Number to read for the birth date in the example.
Your number is __1___,


1 's are originals. Coming up with new ideas and executing them is natural. Having things their own way is another trait that gets them as being stubborn and arrogant. 1's are extremely honest and do well to learn some diplomacy skills. They like to take the initiative and are often leaders or bosses, as they like to be the best. Being self-employed is definitely helpful for them. Lesson to learn: Others' ideas might be just as good or better and to stay open minded.
Famous 1's: Tom Hanks, Robert Redford, Hulk Hogan, Carol Burnett, Wynona Judd, Nancy Reagan, Raquel Welch

2's are the born diplomats. They are aware of others' needs and moods and often think of others before themselves. Naturally analytical and very intuitive they don't like to be alone. Friendship and companionship is very important and can lead them to be successful in life, but on the other hand they'd rather be alone than in an uncomfortable relationship. Being naturally shy they should learn to boost their self-esteem and express themselves freely and seize the moment and not put things off. Famous 2's: President Bill Clinton, Madonna, Whoopee Goldberg, Thomas Edison, Wolfgang, Amadeus Mozart.

3's are idealists. They are very creative, social, charming, romantic, and easygoing. They start many things, but don't always see them through. They like others to be happy and go to great lengths to achieve it. They are very popular and idealistic. They should learn to see the world from a more realistic point of view. Famous 3's: Alan Alda, Ann Landers, Bill Cosby, Melanie Griffith, Salvador Dali, Jodi Foster

4's are sensible and traditional. They like order and routine. They only act when they fully understand what they are expected to do. They like getting their hands dirty and working hard. They are attracted to the outdoors and feel an affinity with nature. They are prepared to wait and can be stubborn and persistent. They should learn to be more flexible and to be nice to themselves. Famous 4's: Neil Diamond, Margaret Thatcher, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Tina Turner, Paul Hogan, Oprah Winfrey

# 5 - THE NONCONFORMIST (my brother and my biological father- down to a T - very scary)
5's are the explorers. Their natural curiosity, risk taking, and enthusiasm often land them in hot water. They need diversity, and don't like to be stuck in a rut. The whole world is their school and they see a learning possibility in every situation. The questions never stop. They are well advised to look before they take action and make sure they have all the facts before jumping to conclusions. Famous 5's: Abraham Lincoln, Charlotte Bronte, Jessica Walter, Vincent Van Gogh, Bette Midler, Helen Keller and Mark Hamil.

# 6 - THE ROMANTIC (Me - and most of it's true)
6's are idealistic and need to feel useful to be happy. A strong family connection is important to them. Their actions influence their decisions. They have a strong urge to take care of others and to help. They are very loyal and make great teachers. They like art or music. They make loyal friends who take the friendship seriously. 6's should learn to differentiate between what they can change and what they cannot. Famous 6's: Albert Einstein, Jane Seymour, John Denver, Meryl Streep, Christopher Columbus, Goldie Hawn

# 7 - THE INTELLECTUAL (Mom and MD - not sure if it fits well though)
7's are the searchers. Always probing for hidden information, they find it difficult to accept things at face value. Emotions don't sway their decisions. Questioning everything in life, they don't like to be questioned themselves. They're never off to a fast start, and their motto is slow and steady wins the race. They come across as philosophers and being very knowledgeable, and sometimes as loners. They are technically inclined and make great researchers uncovering information. They like secrets. They live in their own world and should learn what is acceptable and what not in the world at large. Famous 7's: William Shakespeare, Lucille Ball, Michael Jackson, Joan Baez, Princess Diana

# 8 - THE BIG SHOT (Munchkin - she's only 5 so she hasn't developed some of these...we shall see)
8's are the problem solvers. They are professional, blunt and to the point, have good judgment and are decisive. They have grand plans and like to live the good life. They take charge of people. They view people objectively. They let you know in no uncertain terms that they are the boss. They should learn to exude their decisions on their own needs rather than on what others want. Famous 8's: Edgar Cayce, Barbra Streisand, George Harrison, Jane Fonda, Pablo Picasso, Aretha Franklin, Nostrodamus, George H Bush, Barbara Bush

#9 - THE PERFORMER (My Stepdad - some of this is true; some is definitely NOT)
9's are natural entertainers. They are very caring and generous, giving away their last dollar to help. With their charm, they have no problem making friends and nobody is a stranger to them. They have so many different personalities that people around them have a hard time understanding them. They are like chameleons, ever changing and blending in. They have tremendous luck, but also can suffer from extremes in fortune and mood. To be successful, they need to build a loving foundation. Famous 9's: Albert Schweitzer, Shirley MacLaine, Harrison Ford, Jimmy Carter, Elvis Presley

"Everyone is born with genius, but most people only keep it a few minutes." Edgard Varese (1883 - 1965)

Friday Funny

Interesting take on that the "Thong Song". Turn up your volume to hear.

Are We There Yet?

I think we (Munchkin, MD and I) are all getting to the point of when is the baby going to get here. Munchkin has already mentioned on numerous times this week that she wants the baby to get her NOW! Yesterday she told me she was sad because she wants the baby to be here. She's ready to play with her sister. Then she started to cry. I had to patiently remind her that the baby will be here soon enough to disrupt her little life. She laughed and then came and got in the bed with me later so she could make sure I slept OK and be close to the baby. She is the sweetest little girl and I think she truly knows what she is getting herself into. While she has asked for a sister, she acknowledges the fact that she could get a brother. She's happy either way and greets the baby each morning wanting to know what it's doing in there. She gives my belly a hug and kiss and leaves me with nothing. Hmmph!

MD is just ready to have another little fat face baby to play with and kiss and hug and get drooled on, pooped on, pissed on, spit up on, etc. (not necessarily in that order). He feels Munchkin's pain and is impatient.

I'm just ready because I'm tired. I go to sleep tired. I wake up tired. Putting on my shoes is a chore. I'm out of breath sitting down at work and not moving. My Braxton-Hicks contractions can become real ones and I wouldn't mind - except we aren't ready. We're supposed to get Munchkin's room ready for the baby and it's nowhere close. When I get home from work I don't have the strength to do anything and the weekends are few and far between. We got the crib out of storage and couldn't find the screws and now realize that we forgot two pieces. I can't search my storage space like I would like because I've gone from not supposed to lift anything to not being able to lift anything. I don't want MD to go in there because he just throws things around like since it's not his it isn't valuable. I can't watch it and not get pissed off. Nevertheless we are going to do it tomorrow. I'll just have to look away. We are still haggling over the car seat we want. Really the travel system we want. I haven't packed my bag or the baby's. It's packed in my mind but that is going to do me a lot of good when my water breaks and we're rushing out the door. We haven't discussed if Munchkin is going to stay at the hospital with us or with one of our sets of parents. Probably MD's parents because me parents are going to Alabama for the holidays. I'm a planner and a list maker. The list is made but in my mind there's no plan. I think I'm worrying about things that I really shouldn't but I'm pregnant and hormonal. What am I supposed to do?!?!?! So I worry. Sue me, it's not going to change anything.

I say all this to say what? We're ready emotionally if not physically for the new addition to our baby. I'm starting to get excited now that the time is getting closer. My last day at work is December 17 and as it draws closer I'm more and more anxious. The office pool at work has been started and my co-workers surprised me with a baby shower. I'm lucky, blessed and love. I guess I should stop worrying.

Thursday, December 11, 2003

What's In a Name?

After spending my entire 29 years without encountering anyone with my name, I've found 2 people in the past 2 days with it. This is very uncanny to me. One of the things that has always set me apart is the fact that I know NO ONE with my name. I've met people (always African) who wondered if I was African because of my name. I'm not. My parents had an African friend who offered them some names that meant princess. It can down to Ayaba and Sarwah (sp?). Let's say I'm glad I'm Ayaba. The uniqueness feels just a little tarnished somehow. The only saving grace is that I seriously doubt I will find anyone with my middle name. My mom made it up. So there!

Tuesday, December 09, 2003


For once in my life I can say TGIM!! (Thank God It's Monday). Why would I say such a thing? Let's recap my weekend.

After a frightful start to my weekend on Friday (see below). I finished a day of work that I thought dragged on. Mostly because of the news I got in the morning. Work was the last place I wanted to be and I've never heard of anyone getting sent home because a beloved pet died. So I worked. Then I picked up Munchkin so she could spend the night at Gommie and PawPaw's house. We went shopping for chicken and then picked up her cousin and headed to the suburbs. Traffic was light so I can't complain there.

Once I got to my parents I proceeded to CLEAN and SEASON a 40 lb. box of chicken wings in preparation of the Holiday Bazaar that would be occurring at church on Saturday and Sunday. Once I finished cleaning and seasoning chicken. I helped Gommie label items for sale because we had a table at the Holiday Bazaar. I packed everything into my car and drove home. I didn't get there until 1:00 am. I left everything in the car and was BLESSED (I could have kissed the ground saying THANKYOUGODTHANKYOUGOD) to find a parking space in the lot outside my building. I was praying I wouldn't have to park on the street and He blessed me but good.

Fall into bed and slip into a coma until the alarm goes off.

Saturday - Bazaar day 1
I got to church by 9:00 am and unloaded the car alone. I know - you're pregnant and shouldn't be doing these things. Well there was no one there. I'm pregnant not handicapped and I was careful. I made several trips. I got everything out of my car and into the church and then some other parishioners showed up and took everything downstairs for me.

For the bazaar that would begin at 12:00 pm, I proceeded to start cooking aforementioned 40 lbs of chicken wings along with spaghetti. We were selling dinners at $3 a pop and needed to have chicken ready to go once the window opened.

It was a long day but 40+ dinners later we were finished selling and could start cleaning. By the time we finished and I got home, my body hurt. Pretty much from the waist down I was sore. I didn't realize how much until I took a nap (so what it lasted 5 hours) and tried to get up and my legs wouldn't cooperate. When I finally could move I should have had a walking aid (he, he).

Sunday - Bazaar Day 2
I was supposed to be at church to get ready for Bazaar Day 2 by 9:00 am. HA! Wishful thinking. I took a long hot shower to loosen up my muscles and proceeded to take my time. It was worth it. I got to church at 10:00 am to prep for the bazaar that would open at 1:00 pm. Needless to say I didn't get to participate in church services but made it upstairs for communion.

Sunday pretty much mimicked Saturday in the chicken cooking and selling department. Even though the bazaar ended later than Saturday we left two hours earlier. I wasn't as sore or tired either. I actually went home and put up the Christmas tree.

I woke up and realized that I made it through another bazaar weekend. TGIM! MD did threaten to punish me for doing too much. I asked him how he was going to enforce it and he said he would sit on me. I laughed at him and went about my business but I am now in the process of scaling back. The next few weeks are going to be all about me and prepping for MIT.

Friday, December 05, 2003

In Loving Memory: Kallie Anne McNeal

My cat died. I don't know any other way to say it. I mean "MY CAT". Technically she belonged to my brother and myself but in my heart she was MY CAT. She was an old cat - 16 years 9 months (which roughly translates into 75.5 human years). I knew it was coming but that doesn't make it better. She died in her sleep but that doesn't make it better. Getting to say goodbye would make it better and I didn't get to do that. So now I sit here trying not to blubber like a baby because my cat died and I didn't get to say goodbye.

To say there is going to be a big void in my life is an understatement. I've had that cat over half my life. My mother surprised us with her when she was only 6 months old. We got to watch her grow and she got to watch us. She has been our protector, a source of entertainment, a source of comfort and a really good friend for as long as I could remember. It seems like she's always been there. We got her neutered before she ever had kittens so essentially she adopted my brother and I as her "kids". She would always show up when we needed her. Not that she was that affectionate - it wasn't in her personality - but she knew when she was needed and would comfort us for as long as necessary.

When I went away to college, I missed having my cat to curl up to when I went to sleep. It was one of the things I looked forward to when I came home on breaks. Obviously she did too because she would meet me at the door and follow me around - for all of five minutes - but that is the cat way. That cat literally enabled me to sleep during my first pregnancy. She purred Munchkin to sleep in the womb every night so I could fall asleep. Munchkin came out KNOWING who this cat was. Munchkin worked very hard to cultivate a friendship with a cat that no longer wanted to be bothered by children until finally the cat consented to be bothered by her. While I stayed with my parents these past few months, unbeknownst to me, my cat has been checking up on me while I slept. I knew there was a reason I kept waking up with cat hair on my face!

MD and I just got Munchkin a kitten for her 5th birthday. I can't help but compare my cat to this kitten. Very different personalities. It will be interesting to watch this life grow and mature.

My cat died today and I'm going to miss her very much!

Thursday, December 04, 2003

Christmas poem

T'was the night before Christmas
and all through the town
Not a sign of Baby Jesus
was anywhere to be found.

The people were all busy
with Christmas time chores
Like decorating, and baking,
and shopping in stores.

No one sang "Away in a manger,
no crib for a bed".
Instead, they sang of Santa
dressed-up in bright red.

Mama watched Martha Stewart,
Papa drank beer from a tap.
As hour upon hour
the presents they'd wrap

When what from the T.V.
did they suddenly hear?
Cept an ad.. which told
of a big sale at Sears.

So away to the mall
they all flew like a flash...
Buying things on credit...
and others with cash!

And, as they made their way home
From their trip to the mall,
Did they think about Jesus?
Oh, no... not at all.

Their lives were so busy
with their Christmas time things
No time to remember
Christ Jesus, the King.

There were presents to wrap
and cookies to bake.
How could they stop and remember
who died for their sake?

To pray to the Savior...
they had no time to stop.
Because they needed more time
to "Shop til they dropped!"

On Wal-mart! On K-mart!
On Target! On Penney's!
On Hallmark! On Zales!
A quick lunch at Denny's

From the big stores downtown
to the stores at the mall
They would dash away, dash away,
and visit them all!

And up on the roof,
there arose such a clatter
As grandpa hung icicle lights
up on his brand new step ladder.

He hung lights that would flash.
He hung lights that would twirl.
Yet, he never once prayed to Jesus...
Light of the World.

Christ's eyes... how they twinkle!
Christ's Spirit... how merry!
Christ's love... how enormous!
All our burdens... He'll carry!

So instead of being busy,
overworked, and uptight
Let's put Christ back in
Christmas and enjoy
some good nights!

Merry Christmas, my friends!


Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person can't.

This is this cat.
This is is cat.
This is how cat.
This is to cat.
This is keep cat.
This is a cat.
This is dumbass cat.
This is busy cat.
This is for cat.
This is forty cat.
This is seconds cat.

Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top down and I betcha you can't resist passing it on.

Wednesday, December 03, 2003

Wednesday Women's Funny

I thought these were too good not to share. Enjoy the laugh!
Now I lay me
Down to sleep.
I pray the Lord
My shape to keep.
Please no wrinkles
Please no bags
And please lift my butt
Before it sags.
Please no age spots
Please no gray
And as for my belly,
Please take it away.
Please keep me healthy
Please keep me young,
And thank you Dear Lord
For all that you've done.

Five tips for a woman...
1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.
2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.
3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you.
4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.
5. It is important that these four men don't know each other.

Foot Note:
One saggy boob said to the other saggy boob: "If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts."

Tuesday, December 02, 2003

A Recipe to Try

Noded has a recipe for Taco Pie that I'm going to try. I'll let you know how it turns out. Sounds delicious!

Cancelled Experiment

I have been thinking about this living together thing too hard. I give up. I'm going to take it one day at a time and see how it goes. All in all, MD and I work well as a team. I don't think this will be much different. If we've learned from our mistakes like we're supposed to this time will be better than the last. Not to say I'm blowing caution to the wind but why worry about what could be when I can just focus on what's is. Therefore - end of experiment.

Sunday, November 30, 2003

Deja Vu

After 18 months of living apart, MD and I are officially moved back in together. My stuff is in his place - well my clothes are. Most of my belongings are still in my storage unit. But I'm trying to be optimistic about this "second chance". I thought maybe I was having a crisis of faith but now I'm not so sure. We are fond of saying "Let go and let God" but how many of us really do it. So I'm in put up or shut up mode. The man asked me to live with him so we are going to see how this works out. I wonder if this qualifies as an experiment. What are the parameters? Hmmm...I'm going to have to think about his.

Friday, November 21, 2003

Dude Looks Like a Lady

Munchkin continually surprises me with her insights. Today we are driving into "work" (mine is my job, her's is school). We are listening to the Doug Banks Morning Show and Michael Jackson's "Remember the Time" comes on the air.

Munchkin: I saw that lady's picture in the paper.
Mommy: What lady?
Munchkin: The lady singing.
Mommy: Munchkin that's a MAN.
Munchkin: Oh. I saw that man's picture in the paper.
Mommy: I need to call your daddy and tell him this one.

Needless to say I thought it was very amusing. But then I realized that I never said who was singing and that she realized the person singing and the picture were the same person. That is kind of eery.

Wednesday, November 19, 2003

Backhanded Compliment

Lately I've been hearing "You don't look pregnant from behind." I'm not quite sure how to take this. Obviously I feel pregnant all over so logic would say I look pregnant all over. Unfortunately I can't see myself from behind so I have to take other people's word for it. It just doesn't feel like a good thing though. This had led me to analyze this pregnancy compared to my other and I've come up with the following things that are different:

1. I've gained less weight. By the time I had Munchkin I had packed on around 30 pounds. With Munckin-in-Training (MIT), I've barely put on 15. Although this could change in the next 6 weeks, I doubt it will put me close to 30.

2. I'm under more stress. When I was pregnant with Munchkin, I had a pretty stress-free job. I was doing contract work that wasn't really work and didn't take much effort. My job now is stress-laden. Deadlines to meet, erratic hours, etc. However I wouldn't trade them. I like my job now and knew that it was stressful when I decided to stay here 4.5 years ago. I was involved in church but not to the extent that I am now. I have a position now with A LOT more responsibilities and at the moment there aren't a lot of people to take them on. MD thinks I'm doing to much and has threatened to cut back for me if I don't do it myself. This sounds very good in theory.

3. I'm carrying this baby differently. Munckin rode high. When she dropped, I breathed easier, literally. MIT is riding low. That would explain that I have more pain in my hips.

4. Speaking of pain, I'm in more pain. The kidney stone incident pretty much tops it. Munchkin's pregnancy was relatively pain free except for back pain towards the end. With MIT, I have a touch of sciatica. The problem with this is that I really can't take painkillers to combat the pain. I just have to grin and bear it. I'm afraid labor pain is going to take the cake. I'm shooting for a drug-free labor but that may not happen. I was able to do it with Munchkin and don't see why I shouldn't be able to with MIT but every baby is different.

5. I'm more out of shape. I was able to aquaerobics when I was pregnant with Munchkin and I think that really helped with labor and delivery. No such with MIT. Referring to number 2 I really don't have the time or energy. By the time I get home the last thing on my mind is bend and stretch.

6. I'm on more vitamins. I am severly anemic this go round. Therefore on top of my horse pills aka pre-natal vitamins, I'm also taking horse pills aka iron pills. The only saving grace to finding out I am anemic is that it makes me feel better about some of the symptoms I've been feeling (tired, cracked lips, etc.).

7. MIT is A LOT more active than Munchkin was. It kicks at all hours of the day and I'm not quite sure when it sleeps. I'm curious what kind of personality it will have once it arrives.

With that said, my only concern right now is delivering a healthy baby all the other details will fall where they will.

Tuesday, November 18, 2003

Bears Beat the Packers!!

Cambell's Chunky Soup is donating cans to the poor every time you click on your favorite team's helmet at this site...Green Bay is beating everyone. Do something good for charity and squash the Packer fans at the same time!!!

Campbell's® Chunky(tm) Soup and the NFL(tm) Tackling Hunger
Our Tackling Hunger campaign will result in donations of up to a total of 5
million cans of a variety of Campbell's® soups on behalf of all 32 NFL(tm)
teams. Click for Cans(tm) donations are made over the course of the year to a
variety of hunger relief charities across the country, in NFL(tm) cities and in
many other communities.

Thursday, November 13, 2003

Milestone Birthdays and Parents of the Year!

Munchkin's birthday is Saturday. She will be 5. Yes five. For those that know me personally it has been 5 years and we are just as shocked as you that our baby is now a little girl. With that said we have been planning her birthday party for Sunday. Why? Because Munchkin's Ganny beat us to the punch and got her tickets to the Lion King for Saturday night. I personally don't have the strenght or energy to have both events in one day. So she gets to have a birthday weekend instead of just a birthday day. Lion King and dinner on Saturday. Birthday party on Sunday.

As far as the parents of the year award, Munchkin is has been asking for a kitten for about a year. Well happened upon someone who was giving a 2 month old kitten away for free. This includes supplies and the shot schedule has already been started. Munchkin gets this particular gift tomorrow but I believe that it will be the best one of the bunch. Better than that Chou Chou doll she keeps begging for. Part of a parents' joy is being able to surprise your child like this. I think I'm more excited than she is.

We'll keep you posted about how the party goes and the receipt of the kitten.

Oh yeah, it's my mom's birthday on Saturday too. Yes her only grandchild was born on her birthday. Happy birthday forever!

Wednesday, November 12, 2003

Pregnant Paranoia or Subliminal Messaging?

I mentioned previously that Munchkin's dad (hereafter referred to as MD) and I have been working it out and reconciling. The other night I had this weird/bad dream about him. While I won't include the exact details, the gist of the dream was that he was leaving me for his ex. That this was happening in a couple days and he was telling me now pretty much on his way out the door to spend the evening with her. My reaction was to pretty much snap off. The reason this is sticking with me is because in the dream and when I woke up I just felt ashamed. I handled the situation very badly and pretty much just showed my ass. I mean I was angry and hurt but mostly felt ashamed. I lost control and the situation just went downhill. Obviously I have some unresolved issue(s) but more so I was surprised by my behavior. I think that’s what made it a bad dream for me more than anything.

MD said I shoulda kicked him in the neck. I have a friend I talk to on a regular basis. He provides me with my male perspective on things going on in my life. His take was that "you confronted one of your fears and your true feelings came out. Well at least your dreams reveal the truth. Why are you ashamed that you love your baby daddy?" (Side note: I don't like the term baby daddy. It has a negative connotation and MD is a father. But I got his point). I think this is a good question.

When MD and I broke up previously it was pretty ugly. The fact that we are friends now is grounded in the fact that we started as friends and established a very good friendship before starting a relationship. I'm a firm believer in this notion and this is proof positive that it works. In addition, we are forever tied to each other through Munchkin and are dedicated to making sure she has the best parents possible. The best family possible. We firmly believe we are a family whether he and I are together or not and our children should not suffer because Mommy and Daddy don't get along. Anyway, I digress.

When MD and I broke up previously it was pretty ugly. There were a lot of hurt feelings. Mine more than his because I felt that he went out of his way to intentionally hurt me and I didn't appreciate it (Of course this is my opinion. He might say something different). He has since apologized and I have since forgiven but it's not something you can forget. I will say that it hasn't affected me negatively in my relationships with other people. One person commented soon after the breakup that he ruined me for all men. I responded that he ruined me for him. In light of the fact that we are reconciling, I'm trying to be open-minded about his affection and professed love, but there is that nagging "what if it happens again?" in the back of my head.

I think this has influenced my feelings and my expression of my feelings for him. I'm hesitant about truly letting go and loving him like I once did because of "what if?" The emotional part of me says just do it. You did it before and you can do it again. The rational part of me says "don't play the fool twice." Unfortunately I'm more rational than emotional and now I'm caught between these two halves. I think that is what caused the dream. (Side note: The fact that my hormones are at higher levels than normal probably don't help either.)

Either way I think I'm at a put up or shut up stage. It goes back to my friend's question "Why are you ashamed that you love your baby daddy?" I think the answer is not that I am ashamed. I'm scared. It's hard to let yourself go twice when it was hard to do it once. It's something I'm going to have to work on if I want my relationship to be positive and move forward. It's something that I have been putting off doing because who wants to do the hard things in life? It's something that I need to do now because otherwise it wouldn't be invading my dreams. Especially since at 33 weeks pregnant sleep is a valuable commodity. It's also something I'll have to blog about later cause it's late and I need to get some of that precious sleep.

Need a Job?

Fantastic opportunity! Do you enjoy real estate and have good people skills? If so, I am looking for a personal assistant to assist me with my real estate endeavors. My personal assistant must have web designing experience, a pleasant disposition, be trustworthy and reliable, be a problem solver and be committed to customer service (not necessarily in that order). Real estate experience is not a requirement. The person will need to work approximately 30 hours a week. If you are interested or know someone who may be, please forward a resume and salary requirements to me at Kimberly@ProsInRealty.com (please, no calls). My target is to hire someone by Jan 2004.

Please feel free to forward this to anyone you know who may be interested. Thanks for your help!

Kimberly Brown Washington
Prosperous Realty LLC
(312) 432- 0615 x 25 office

Tuesday, November 11, 2003

For Hot Beverage Lovers Everywhere...

My company has a Flavia machine in it and I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT!!! Well now they are available for purchase in a smaller size for homes. I had to share the news because I want a Flavia machine in my house (Christmas is coming - hint, hint). Anyway, details are as follows: the FLAVIA SB100 Brewer is a revolutionary brew-by-pack unit allows you to brew FLAVIA gourmet coffee and tea at home. It costs only $99 and can be purchased online at http://www.flavia.net/flavianet/ or by calling 1- 877-336-2633. FLAVIA is a subsidiary of Masterfoods (yes this is the parent company of M&M/Mars!)

Let the holiday shopping begin!

Friday, November 07, 2003

An Update Kidney Stones...

As previously mentioned I went to the doctor on Thursday. What I forgot to mention is that while the stone has passed I am now anemic. I get to take iron pills in addition to the prenatals that make me nauseous. Happy, happy! Joy, joy! Although the anemia explains quite a few things that have been bugging me lately - like with all the fluids I'm taking in, why do I feel dehydrated and my lips are chapped. Hopefully a week of these will cure that and then I'll be on them until my doctor says stop. My main concern is that the baby will be early and we won't be ready. Call it maternal intuition but I don't think this baby is waiting until December 29 to make an appearance.

P.S. We will not be accepting "combo" gifts because the baby is born around Christmas. Unless of course they are REALLY, REALLY big gifts that could count as two.

Thursday, November 06, 2003

2 Births for the Price of 1?

I haven't blogged in a while because I've been at home writhing in pain. The cause - a kidney stone! As if being pregnant wasn't enough I had to pass a kidney stone.

It started with back pain a few weeks ago and led up to me being admitted to the hospital on Sunday. At least I wasn't in labor but after the pain at least I would have had something to show for my efforts.

My post passing of the kidney stone appointment was today. My doctor says everything looks OK. He's going to check my urine and my back will hurt as my system heals. Good Lord! I wouldn't wish a kidney stone on my worst enemy. You may start with the sympathy at any time. :)

Wednesday, October 29, 2003

Halloween Public Service Announcement

Just in time for October 31...

1. Don't assume the telephone calls are coming from another house.
2. When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it's really dead.
3. Don't go into the basement to check the power when the lights go out.
4. If your children speak to you in Latin, Sanskrit, or any other language which they should not know, shoot them immediately. Although this seems harsh, it will save you a lot of grief in the long run. Note that it will take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared. This also applies to kids who speak with somebody else's voice.
5. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open a portal to Hell.
6. If you wake up from a particularly horrific dream and find yourself still alive, you probably aren't awake yet.
7. Always believe the kid. Even if the kid has lied before, even if you think that the kid has been watching too much TV -- believe the kid.
8. If you're searching for something which caused a loud noise and find out that it's just the cat, don't stand there sighing with relief -- GET OUT!
9. If appliances start operating by themselves, don't check for short circuits; JUST GET OUT!
10. The weirdo is always the one who saw this coming.
11. Do not take anything from the dead.
12. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're really sure you know what you're doing.
13. If trees, TVs, or other objects try to consume your children, save as many as you can and then get out of the area.
14. Never, ever, make fun of the "odd" kid.
15. Don't go camping.
16. If at any time the house or place you're staying in asks you to get out - DON'T argue.
17. If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice; more if you are of the female persuasion and/or wearing high heels. If you turn and look back, and you don't see the maniac/spirit/demon/creature chasing you, stop and run immediately back the way you came because the maniac/spirit/demon/ creature is now in front of you.
18. Listen to the dying person. They have the best ideas.
19. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, etc., kill them immediately.
20. If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, and you think it strange because you were sure you had a full tank, shoot yourself. You are going to die anyway, and will most likely be eaten.
21. Never speak to clowns in sewers.
22. Castles are not normally found in the American Midwest. Be wary.
23. Beware of strangers bearing strange tools; for example: chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, laser pistols, Alludium Q-36 explosive space modulators, or any devices made from deceased companions. Also, be wary of anyone driving a combine.

Tuesday, October 28, 2003

Baby Update

I subscribe to a BabyCenter newsletter. It tells me what should be happening with the baby each week. Here is this week's update:

Your baby's probably moving more than ever before. Some pregnant women even have trouble sleeping because their babies' kicks and rolls keep them up at night. If you're having this problem, comfort yourself with the knowledge that your baby is active and healthy. You're also getting some practice for all the sleepless nights you'll endure as a new mom. If you haven't already, now is a good time to start monitoring your baby's activity level. Twice a day count your baby's movements. Ideally, you should feel at least ten kicks, rolls, or swishes in two hours. If you notice fewer than ten movements in two hours or a significant decrease in the frequency of your baby's movements, tell your midwife or doctor immediately.

I can't tell you how true this is. I think the baby is practicing kung fu at night to get ready to keep up with Munchkin. It moves ALL the time. I don't know when it sleeps.

Not to mention the indigestion. To sum it up - I stink. I wake up around 2 am to either burp or fart. Preferably burp because that is instant relief and I can go back to sleep faster. This is the stinkiest baby making me the stinkiest mommy. I don't need a paternity test. This baby could not have been made by anyone else.

Other than that I'm doing well. Weight gain is good, my skin still glows and I am quite the fashionable pregnant lady. I really don't have any complaints. :)

Saturday, October 25, 2003

Didja Know - Part Deux

I figured that I can post these once a week or so and give people something really interesting to read. :) Again, these are from Quizilla.

What Kind of Kiss Are You?
You have a mysterious kiss. Your partner never
knows what you're going to come up with next;
this creates great excitement and arousal never
knowing what to expect. And it's sure to end
in a kiss as great as your mystery.

What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

What Movie Do You Belong In?
Lion King!

What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla

Which Of The Greek Gods Are You?

?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

Wednesday, October 22, 2003

What is Love?

I got this inspirational e-mail today and wanted to share. Only because this is a question that I pondered myself with no decisive answer. Happily I can say that I feel I am on the path to becoming Love. It's a major triumph.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 says, "Love is patient love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."

To come upon Love, one must first deny, in oneself, all that is not Love. Love is not jealousy, anger, pleasure, desire, thought, feeling, or sensation. So what is Love? Can one say what Love is, or can we come upon it through negation? For Love to be, there must be Freedom. Freedom from ones personal travail is necessary for one to come upon Love. Where there is ambition, manipulation, jealousy, greed, anger or other negatively charged emotions, Love is not. Love can only exist when there no conflict.

One may say there are many kinds of Love. The Love which heals all sorrows is not emotional, sentimental, or full of desire. The Love which heals all sorrow is only when everything else isn't. Understand in truth that love is not a feeling, but a state of being. You do not fall in love, you become love. And once love, you find that you cannot fall.

A Question to Ponder...

I previously posted about the future mystery writer whose stories I've been reading. I received the following email from him and wanted to share. I'm looking for input from both men and women (but mostly women). It's a very interesting question. If you aren't comfortable sending me your responses, let me know and I'll provide an email address.
Ladies I have been in communication with several of my friends and we have formed a little group we call ourselves the "Relationship Warriors" The group consist of Five men whom have been happily married for 20 years or more, 3 confirmed bachelors, 4 down right dirty doggs (straight playas) One of these is my best friend even though we stay in an argument all the time (He calls me a playa hata.) The last part of the group is 3 knuckleheaded young boys about 20 years old (one of them is my son) They know about my reading group and they would like to ask you ladies a question.

Why will a woman believe her friends over her own man?

Now keep in mind that I didn't ask this question but I would be interested in the feed back from it. So feel free to answer and I will relay it back to them (without your names of course)

Monday, October 20, 2003

Whoda Thunk It?

It's amazing what people will come up with to use a product for everything but what it was intended for. Look what came across my Inbox in regards to Bounce Dryer Sheets. Please note, I have not verified any of the uses claimed below.

My mail carrier told me that the US Postal Service sent out a message to all letter carriers to put a sheet of Bounce in their uniform pockets to keep yellow jackets away. Use them all the time when playing baseball and soccer. I use it when I am working outside. It really works. The yellow jackets just veer around you.

And all this time you've just been putting Bounce in the dryer!

It will chase ants away when you lay a sheet near them.

It also repels mice.. spread them around foundation areas, or in trailers, cars that are sitting and it keeps mice from entering your vehicle.

It takes the odor out of books and photo albums that don't get opened too often.

Repels mosquitoes. Tie a sheet of Bounce through a belt loop when outdoors during mosquito season.

Eliminates static electricity from your television (or computer) screen. Since Bounce is designed to help eliminate static cling, wipe your television screen with a used sheet of Bounce to keep dust from resettling.

Dissolve soap scum from shower doors. Clean with a sheet of Bounce.

Freshen the air in your home. Place an individual sheet of Bounce in a drawer or hang in the closet.

Put Bounce sheet in vacuum cleaner.

Prevent thread from tangling. Run a threaded needle through sheet of Bounce before beginning to sew.

Prevent musty suitcases. Place an individual sheet of Bounce inside empty luggage before storing.

Freshen the air in your car. Place a sheet of Bounce under the front seat.

Clean baked-on foods from a cooking pan. Put a sheet in a pan, fill with water, let sit overnight, and sponge clean. The anti-static agent apparently weakens the bond Between the food.

Eliminate odors in wastebaskets. Place a sheet of Bounce at the bottom of the

Collect cat hair. Rubbing the area with a sheet of Bounce will magnetically attract all the loose hairs.

Eliminate static electricity from Venetian blinds. Wipe the blinds with a sheet of Bounce to prevent dust from resettling.

Wipe up sawdust from drilling or sand papering. A used sheet of Bounce will collect sawdust like a tack cloth.

Eliminate odors in dirty laundry. Place an individual sheet of Bounce at the bottom of a laundry bag or hamper.

Deodorize shoes or sneakers. Place a sheet of Bounce in your shoes or sneakers overnight.

Golfers put a Bounce sheet in their back pocket to keep the bees away.

Put a Bounce sheet in your sleeping bag and tent before folding and storing them. Keeps them smelling fresh.

Saturday, October 18, 2003

Didja Know?

I figure one way for people to get to know me is to offer up some silly analogies. So I took a few quizzes on Quizilla. Results are below.

Which Mythological Form Are You?
You are Form 0, Phoenix: The Eternal.

"And The Phoenix's cycle had reached
zenith, so he consumed himself in fire. He
emerged from his own ashes, to be forever

Some examples of the Phoenix Form are Quetzalcoatl
(Aztec), Shiva (Indian), and Ra-Atum
The Phoenix is associated with the concept of life,
the number 0, and the element of fire.
His sign is the eclipsed sun.

As a member of Form 0, you are a determined
individual. You tend to keep your sense of
optomism, even through tough times and have a
positive outlook on most situations. You have
a way of looking at going through life as a
journey that you can constantly learn from.
Phoenixes are the best friends to have because
they cheer people up easily.

Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

How Funny Are You?
Stand Up
STAND UP: You are a natural stand-up comedian. You
watch the news with people, and when you give
your opinions, people start laughing. They are
not laughing at you, they are laughing because
what you say is so TRUE. The world is a very
funny place, full of natural comedy. All you do
is repeat various humorous things that you
notice from everyday life. Your unique
perspective on the world is what makes you so
funny. Of all the various comedy types, you may
be the funniest of them all!


How funny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

How Old Is Your Inner Child?
My inner child is sixteen years old today

My inner child is sixteen years old!

Life's not fair! It's never been fair, but while
adults might just accept that, I know
something's gotta change. And it's gonna
change, just as soon as I become an adult and
get some power of my own.

How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla

Friday, October 17, 2003

What Will They Think of Next?

For all you men out there trying to be the first pregnant male, this one beat you to it!

Thursday, October 16, 2003

Pumpkins in My Patch

Just in time for Halloween…enjoy!

A woman was asked by a co-worker, "What is it like to know the Spirit?"

The co-worker replied, "It is like being a pumpkin. God picks you from the patch, brings you in, and washes all the dirt off of you. Then he cuts off the top and scoops out all the yucky stuff. He removes the seeds of doubt, hate, greed, etc., and then He carves you a new smiling face and puts His light inside of you to shine for all the world to see."

How Much Is Your Soul Worth?

Found this at Sasoozie's who found it at Judy's. It's quite an interesting concept to find out How Much Is Your Soul Worth?

Accordingly WWYS reports that "Your soul is worth £36226. For your peace of mind, 22% of people have a purer soul than you."

I might have to take it again just to be sure.

Wednesday, October 15, 2003

I'm Chocolate on Chocolate or You Are What You Eat

I usually don't pay much attention to these because they don't really describe me. They are fun and all but not applicable. This was pretty dead on. What are you?

Personality Test
No cheating. Pick your cake, then look to see. Take this cake Personality Test.

If you were buying a cake and you had your choice of the following, which would you choose?
Angel food
Lemon Meringue
Vanilla with Chocolate Icing
Strawberry Short Cake
Chocolate on Chocolate
Ice Cream
Carrot Cake

OK - Now that you've made your choice, this is what research says about you! NO.... you can't change your mind once you scroll down!
So think carefully, what your choice will be!!!

No peeking until you choose!!!

Scroll down

Angel food ... Sweet, loving, cuddly. You love all warm and fuzzy items. A little nutty at times. Sometimes you need an ice cream cone at the end of the day. Others perceive you as being child-like and immature at times.

Brownies.. You are adventurous, love new ideas, are a champion of underdogs and a slayer of dragons. When tempers flare up, you whip out
your sabre. You are always the oddball with a unique sense of humor and direction. You tend to be very loyal.

Lemon Meringue... Smooth, sexy, &articulate with your hands, you are an excellent after-dinner speaker and a good teacher. But don't try to walk and chew gum at the same time. A bit of a diva at times, but you have many friends.

Vanilla with Chocolate Icing ... Fun-loving, sassy, humorous. Not Very grounded in life, very indecisive and lack motivation. Everyone enjoys being around you, but you are a practical joker. Others should be cautious in making you mad, however, you are a friend for life.

Strawberry Short Cake... Romantic, warm, loving. You care about other people and can be counted on in a pinch. You tend to melt. You can be overly-emotional and annoying at times.

Chocolate on Chocolate ... Sexy, always ready to give and receive. Very creative, adventurous, ambitious, and passionate. You have a cold exterior but are warm on the inside. Not afraid to take chances. Will not settle for anything average in life. Love to laugh.

Ice Cream... You like sports, whether it be baseball, football, basketball, or soccer. If you could, you would like to participate, but you enjoy watching sports. You don't like to give up the remote control. You tend to be self-centred and high maintenance.

Carrot Cake... You are a very fun loving person, who likes to laugh. You are fun to be with. People like to hang out with you. You are a Very warm-hearted person and a little quirky at times. You have many loyal friends.

First Post in a While...

I got this email from a friend and I thought to myself that I should blog about it. It was a needed kick in the pants. Enjoy the laugh.

1. Elvis is dead.
2. Having your children curse you out in public is not normal.
3. Jesus was not White.
4. Skinny does not equal sexy.
5. A 5-year child is too big for a stroller.
6. N' SYNC will never hold a candle to the Jackson 5.
7. Thomas Jefferson had black children.
8. An occasional BUTT spanking helps a child stay in line.
9. Kissing your pet is not cute.
10. Rap music is here to stay.

1. Chicken is food, not a roommate.
2. "Jump out and run" is not in any insurance policies.
3. Your country's flag is not a car decoration.
4. Hickey's are unattractive.
5. Mami and Papi can't possibly be the nickname of every person in your family.
6. Buttoning just the top button of your shirt is a bad fashion statement.
7. 10 people to a car or home is considered too many.
8. Jesus is not a name for your son.
9. Maria is a name but not for every other daughter.
10. Letting your children run wildly through the store can get your BUTT whooped (or theirs).

1. Tupac is dead.
2. Crown Royal bags are meant to be thrown away.
3. Having a ring on every finger is too much.
4. O.J. did it.
5. Teeth should not be decorated.
6. Breaks are usually only 15 minutes.
7. Jesse Jackson will never be President.
8. RED is not a Kool-Aid flavor (it's a color).
9. Your rims and sound system should not be worth more than your car.
10. Your pastor doesn't know everything.

Long Time No Blog

I haven't blogged in ages. Why? I stopped getting personal satisfaction out of it. I felt like I really didn't have anything to blog about but if I didn't say something I felt guilty. It shouldn't be that hard so I took a break...a long one...until I felt better about blogging.

Where does that put us? With a big gap in my life. I should have been sharing funny pregnancy stories and anecdotes and how Munchkin is adapting. I've just had so much going on that I feel overwhelmed. Work is work but busier than ever and as my pregnancy progresses more stressful. My personal life is improving but I'm still skeptical about where things are headed. I don't feel as excited about this pregnancy as I did with the first. Probably because I don't have as much time to devote to doting on this child with everything else going on. I feel bad about that too. Hmmm...maybe this is the guilt stage of pregnancy. Plus this pregnancy isn't going as smooth as the first.

Well I am making progress...I've actually put something on paper to post. Let's see how this goes in the time coming up.

Tuesday, August 12, 2003

A Musical Interlude

I realize I owe a blog post telling all about the wonderful idiosyncrasies of vacation bible school but first this message. Munchkin and I were driving into work today (yes work...school is her job and she excels at it, tyvm). Anywho, we were listening to the radio and Sean Paul's "Like Glue" came on. She loves music of all types. Her father and I are very proud. After listening for about a minutes, she pipes up from the back seat "Mommy?" "Yes." "What IS he saying?" I just started cracking up. Usually she asks me what are the songs about and I explain it to her. But she couldn't even understand a word of what he was saying. So I told her. I asked her if it made sense. She answered right away "No way!" and then proceeded to dance anyway! Her father found this as amusing as I did.

Friday, August 01, 2003

Baby Update

The baby has been moving for a few weeks now but in the last few days (since Wednesday) it's been moving where I can feel it from the outside. Munchkin was the first (and currently the only) person to feel the baby move. Her face lit up. She had a smile so big I didn't know how it stayed there. She then proceeded to talk to the baby so that it would know "big sister" is waiting for it to come out. She had decided that the baby is a girl and that the baby's name is Sarah. This might change in a few weeks but for now the name is Sarah. When I asked her about boy names because she could have a little brother she looked at me and said "Nah!" Well I guess she told me. We shall see, we shall see. The ultrasound is on Tuesday but there will be no peeking at the sex. I figure finding out what you had when the baby gets here is the last surprise left and I want it.

Sticky Fingers and Kiddie Germs

I will be offline for most of next week because it is time for Vacation Bible School at Church. A part of me looks forward to it because it's excellent outreach for the church and the kids have such a great time and part of me dreads it. I don't feel like being bothered with other people's children. But I am making the most of it and I think we have a really good program for the children. I hope to have lots of updates and funny stories when I return.

Calling All Readers

A new black mystery writer sent me the following message and asked me to share it with my friends, so I am. I've already read a few chapters and the novel shows promise. Please support another up-and-coming talent by reading the chapters as well and hitting him back with your thoughts.

From mackabre:
I am a black mystery writer. The following words are from Ms. Jasbelle the lead character in my new book "Let dead dogs Lie." She is a black female serial killer,and she doesn`t have a problem handling any man she thinks is a dog. In her words,

“With this tight body, and good looks, I`ve never had a problem finding a man who would follow me to his death. I know a real dog will chase a piece of tail across a busy street, even if it means he might get killed in the process.”

I would like for you to hit my page, and read a few chapters of the book. Then hit me with a note (mackabre47@yahoo.com) and tell me what you think. I`m trying to find my target audience and you can help me.

Thursday, July 31, 2003

Great News!

A long time friend (OK she's known me all of my life and my parents from college - but I didn't want to put her business out like that) just got great news. Connie Moody Now Heads REACH Program. I'm very proud of her!

Monday, July 28, 2003

I've Got The Feeling...

I'm past the morning sickness phase and now I'm into nosebleeds and extreme gas. This baby is stinky! Which in turn makes me stinky. I'm not sure I care for the association. Plus I'm starting to really show and grow out of my clothes. Munchkin is ecstatic. Everything is about being a big sister. Of course being excited now and when the baby gets here could be two different things. We shall see, we shall see.

I got a surprise in the mail at work today. A free pass to see SWAT on Wednesday August 6. I'm going to go with a friend I haven't had time to hang out with in ages. It should be fun especially since I'm spending next week working on Vacation Bible School at church. I'm looking forward to it.

My weekend was blah. I didn't go apartment hunting. I spent two days sleeping. I guess I didn't realize how much I needed sleep until I actually did it. My body literally was like "What is this marvelous balm for exhaustion and where can I get more of it?" I got to hear the baby's heartbeat for the second time on Saturday and Munchkin got treated to Spy Kids 3-D as well. Plus as mentioned before it was PaPa's birthday so we went to dinner at The Grill on the Alley. I had prime rib...hmmmm beef.

P.S. Did I mention, I feel fat. I do. More on this later.

Wednesday, July 23, 2003

A Few Things Of Note

In my rush to share the news I forgot to mention some other things.

1. Happy Birthday to Papa! My daughter's grandfather celebrates his birthday today. We will go to dinner this weekend.

2. TGIF! I have two summer days this week so today is Friday. I need the rest and I need to apartment hunt. I will be doing both.

3. Happy anniversary to my parents. It is actually on Friday but I won't be here so best wishes today.

That is all. Carry on as per usual. Have a great weekend!

Drumroll Please...

I promised a big announcement this week and I don't want to disappoint. I'm expecting. Yes you heard me correctly, munchkin number 2 is currently getting ready to make an appearance in late December. I'm pregnant, knocked up, PG. Pick your most favorite term. It all applies at this moment.

Most of my friends won't be surprised as I told them already but for those of you who don't know that's the big announcement. I'm already around 17 weeks so I won't get to share the joys of morning sickness with you. Not that you missed much except me throwing up almost every day all day for about a month and a half. The rest is open fodder.

Currently I'm getting nosebleeds and tension headaches. This is cause of concern for me since I can count on one hand how many nosebleeds in the past 5 years and now I need two to count how many I've had in the past 5 weeks. I have some key appointments coming up so I can't wait to share the gory details.

Ahhh! The joys of pregnancy. Don't you love it!

Monday, July 21, 2003

A New Look!

I've changed my blog template. Thanks to the magic of Frontpage I was able to do this pretty painlessly. I also have to thank Sasoozie. She also redesigned her website with columns. I've wanted a way to re-organize the miscellaneous stuff that people want to know about you but you don't want to put in the blog because it will disappear. When I saw her columns it all clicked. So thanks Sasoozie for being the visionary. I hope you like the new look. The sidebar information will probably be updated pretty frequently. Let me know your thoughts!

Is This For Real?

I got an email from these people and had to laugh...plus pass it on. Who would do this to their friends and still call them friends? The Blind Date website is an interesting concept I'm sure but I love my friends too much to send them out into the wilderness like that. I wished someone had loved me that much before submitting my information to these people.

Top 10 Traits of a Great Girlfriend or Wife

I received this email from a male friend and wanted to share. Not to brag but I think I have quite a few of these qualities. Would make me a very good catch...HINT! HINT! Quite frankly I'm more curious to see the Top 10 Traits of a Great Boyfriend or Husband.

10. She's independent
No one wants a girlfriend they have to baby-sit. Once in a while, like if she's had a rough day at work, it's great to be her shoulder to cry on, but if she can't seem to function without you and is constantly after you, she will eventually make you feel like you're suffocating, which is a surefire way to get you running out the nearest exit.

On the other hand, if she has her very own personality and opinions, can stand on her own two feet, both financially and emotionally, and is able to enjoy time away from you -- while still missing you, of course -- then she must be a great girlfriend.

9. She's intelligent
I hate to be the one to tell you this, but the bimbo routine gets real old, real fast. A woman who can meet you at an intellectual level is a total turn-on. Instead of being the one in total control, you'll find yourself trying to figure out what she's really thinking behind those glazed eyes of hers -- or if she's actually thinking at all.

An intelligent woman will constantly surprise you and keep you on your toes. She won't let you get bored of her. Besides, it's nice to have something to talk about between all that chandelier-hanging sex.

8. She's sexual
While we're on the topic, a great girlfriend has to be sexually compatible with you. For instance, if you're into S&M and she's more the "fluffy lingerie" type, that's a problem. The two of you have to be on the same page -- or, at least, she has to be willing to wear leather and use a whip from time to time.

Of course, this doesn't imply that she has to know all the right moves straight away; it simply means that you and she have an undeniable attraction towards each other, and are able to communicate your desires verbally (or with physical cues). It is important that you please each other in the bedroom, or on top of the dryer -- whatever the case may be.

7. She's beautiful
I know, this one is kind of obvious, but important nonetheless. A great girlfriend will not only want to look good for you, but also for herself. She should always look her best and be well put together -- matching lingerie is a definite plus.

You have to be proud to have her on your arm and enjoy the sight of her in any light. And this doesn't mean that she has to be a Byonce clone. Remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so if you think her full bottom or uncontrollable curls are beautiful, you're allowed.

6. She respects you
This is a biggie. Your woman must respect you. This means that she listens to you, even if she doesn't necessarily agree with what you're saying. And, of course, she never tries to demean or belittle you in any way, shape, or form.

A great girlfriend won't ever cause scenes in public or in front of your friends and family, and will always wait to discuss matters with you in private. If she respects you, chances are that she will behave in a tactful and diplomatic manner in most situations, which is definitely a good thing.

Does your woman bring you and the guys beer on card night or?

5. She lets you be a man
Do not -- I repeat -- do not get involved with a woman who tries to get you to eat cottage cheese and fruit for breakfast and insists that you give up poker night with the guys. You will end up resenting her more than you can imagine. A good girlfriend lets you be a guy in all your glory, poker night and all. If she's a great girlfriend, she'll even bring you and your buddies a couple of beers and make you some of her famous sandwiches.

She has to understand that men and women are different and should allow you
to be yourself. Just like you wouldn't deprive her of going shopping with her best girlfriend, she shouldn't expect you to give up the guys for her.

4. She's nagless
There is nothing worse than a nag! A great girlfriend knows this and chooses her battles wisely. She knows when to speak-up and when to let it slide. You don't want a girlfriend who will give you the heights of hell for leaving a couple of dishes in the sink occasionally.

However, if you live together and you stay out all night without calling her, and she lets you have it, then you're setting yourself up for disaster. This is a situation that nobody would let slide -- not even a great girlfriend.

3. She gets along with friends & family
A great girlfriend will not only help your mom in the kitchen, listen to your dad's stories, and hang out with your friends, she will enjoy it. She'll make a real effort to get to know and love the most important people in your life. And she won't try to get you to ditch your best buds.

She'll actually empathize with your brother getting dumped and suggest that you guys take him out to cheer him up. Not only that, but your friends won't roll their eyes and moan when you mention that she'll be joining you guys when she gets off work (yes, women like this do exist).

2. She loves you
If you have found a woman who loves you for who you really are and not who you pretend or try to be sometimes, you should definitely hang on to her. A woman who doesn't try to change you is hard to find. Of course, everyone has their slightly annoying habits that their mate has to contend with, but if she really loves you, she will be able to cope with these.

Another way to know if she really loves you is by observing the way she looks at you and treats you on an everyday basis. If the sight of you doesn't seem to faze her either way, and she doesn't really seem to care about what you have to say, she's either playing very hard to get, or sees you as just some guy. But if a surprise visit or phone call from you makes her light up, there's no denying that she loves you.

1. She makes you want to be a better man
Stop making that face... Any man who has a great girlfriend or wife will tell you that she makes him want to be a better man. She doesn't have to say or do anything; it just is that way. If you suddenly feel bad about how you treated your sister or find yourself trying to get your finances in order, you might want to think about your motivation for doing so. It could be love.

Do you already have her?
So, if this list seems to describe your current flame, you, my friend, are styling. In fact, you are probably the envy of all of your friends, even if they tease you for losing your status as "king player."

However, if the woman you are dating is more like the polar opposite, then I don't think that getting serious with her would be in your best interest -- but you knew that already, didn't you?

Friday, July 18, 2003

Shame on Me

I've been a bad blogger. I've let my life get in the way of telling the world about it. Don't worry I have things to share just need to get it together. Please bear with me. Major announcement coming next week!

Thursday, July 03, 2003


Actually it's not Friday but considering Friday is a holiday I'll take today as the end of a LOOONG week. I owe a complete blog so here goes.

A Sick Little One
After my action-packed "planned" weekend last week it all turned out to be a bust. I didn't go to the sky show as planned. I woke up at 12:30 am to get ready and get a bad feeling about the whole thing. I've been very conscious of when my intuition is talking to me so I listened and stayed home and got a few more hours of sleep. So I'm sitting in bed reading around 11 am when I get a call from my daughter's school that she has a temperature of 102 degrees. (WHAT?!?!) I called her dad but he couldn't leave work so I agreed to pick her up and take her to his place. He had already told me that she wasn't feeling well that morning but he medicated her and sent her on her merry little way (i.e. she felt better and was in good spirits). By the time I got to school (a 2 hour trip thanks to the horrendous traffic), she looked sick. She was listless and her color was off. Plus she was asking for Mommy. I took her home, took all her clothes off, medicated her some more, gave her plenty of fluids and put her to bed. She slept for several hours which gave me the opportunity to finish my book. She woke up hungry so she got peanut butter toast (delicioso!). She watched cartoons in bed and pretty much chilled -at my orders - until her dad got home. He went out and got her chicken fried rice for dinner (her favorite). But she didn't eat very much of it and went to bed without complaint (is this my child?).

Saturday - the saga continues
I had a doctor's appointment on Saturday. My daughter wanted to go. She was still feverish but said she felt better and when I told her she may want to stay home with Daddy she had a fit because she wasn't going to be left at home while I go out. So I took her and she whined the whole way. We finally finished at the doctor's and I took her to IHOP to eat breakfast. Her whole day changed with a meal. She immediately perked up and became her old self. We ran some errands and I took her back to her dad's house - where I took a nap and when I got up she and her dad were playing. We thought she was all better. It rained - hard - so we decided to go to the Taste of Chicago. It wasn't crowded - nothing clears a crowd like rain - so that worked out well. Do you know that all that child wanted at the Taste was some chips and McDonald's and the McDonald's was the most expensive thing there? I on the other hand had some catfish nuggets, baked potato, chocolate covered strawberry, cheesecake and watermelon. I was full and it was good. Unfortunately she had on new sandals that were not made for walking and her feet hurt her so I broke down and carried her part of the ways back to the car.

And the diagnosis is...
I needed to pick my daughter up from her father's house for church. I'm on my way there when the cell phone rings...it's her dad. He let's me know that she is covered with a rash...RED LIGHTS GO OFF. The child had a fever for two days and now she has a rash...call the doctor ASAP! He does and comes back with the verdict: SCARLET FEVER! I didn't know kids still got that anymore. Apparently they do cause mine has it. Luckily her doctor called in a prescription that we got filled and started her on Sunday. She felt fine but she itched so it was back to the old stand-bys: oatmeal baths and witch hazel. They both helped but not 100%. Needless to say we missed the dinner for her great-grandmother but I ordered us Leona's instead. Her dad went without us. I told him it's his grandmother turning 90 and my daughter obviously couldn't go.

Monday rolled around and I took her to the doctor. She has scarlet fever. She felt 100% better however and even got a prescription to help with the itching or as she says "i'm scratchy". Either way I took her shopping for summer clothes at Rainbow Kids. They were having a sale and I got her about 15 new outfits for a reasonable amount of money. We got shoes at Payless yesterday. She is ready for summer.

I'm making no plans for this holiday weekend. That way nothing can go wrong. I just plan to take things as they come and relax when possible. I hope everyone has a safe and happy Independance Day.

Thursday, June 26, 2003

Summer Day Here I come

At my job we have summer days. Essentially these are days in addition to PTO that we can take between Memorial Day and Labor Day. This year we have 6 in total. 2 per month - June, July and August. Well I'm taking a summer day tomorrow. The Tom Joyner Morning Show is here with the Sky Show at the New Regal Theater, and it's featuring Parliament Funkadelic and Adele Givens. I'm making the extra effort to get up early and go. I can't wait. When they were here last year I took the time off and set my alarm for the wrong time and missed it. Obviously I needed the rest but I was disappointed. No such turn of luck this time. Plus I heard the New Regal Theater is closing on Monday so this will be my only opportunity to go there.

The Taste of Chicago also starts on Friday. I'm thinking about taking my daughter. I anticipate it being a slow day since it's the first and Erykah Badu will be performing. I've seen her in concert and she is great! After all this I will get some much deserved sleep.

Saturday is my town's annual picnic. If my daughter and I can't make it to the water park it looks like we will have some fun there. We can at least get a free hot dog and see some of the local young performers. Maybe we will get lucky and the carnival will be in town.

Sunday is church. We are honoring our graduates with an ice cream social - yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, delicioso. Plus I'm going out to dinner at the Greek Islands to celebrate a birthday. When it rains it pours and this means I won't have any plans for the next month or so.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Whether the Weather...

...We'll weather the weather, whether we like it or not! I'm not liking the weather. I like it hot and today it's pouring out. I was so hoping that this weekend would be a scorcher because I want to take my daughter to the water park - and she wants to go. I'm going to keep my fingers crossed!

Something to Think About

If God brings you to it,
He will bring you through it.

Just a friendly reminder to have faith at all times. Not just the good but especially the bad.

Monday, June 23, 2003

It's a beautiful day in Chicago...FINALLY!! I love warm weather and it took it's sweet time getting here.

Friday, June 20, 2003

I have a friend from high school who recently started a new business. Her name is Chrishawn and the name of her business is In Your Dreams Publishing. Check her out if you get the chance. Thanks!

Thursday, June 19, 2003

Check your local listings about this program. It sounds very, very interesting!

This Far by Faith: African-American Spiritual Journeys

In six hours of dramatic storytelling, THIS FAR BY FAITH: AFRICAN-AMERICAN SPIRITUAL JOURNEYS examines the African-American religious experience. From the arrival of the early African slaves through the Civil War, reconstruction, Jim Crow, the great depression, the civil rights era, and into the 21st century, THIS FAR BY FAITH, airing on PBS Tuesday-Thursday, June 24-26, 2003, (check local listings), explores the connections between faith and the development of African-American cultural values. Lorraine Toussaint ("Any Day Now," "Crossing Jordan") narrates.

THIS FAR BY FAITH is the last project conceptualized by legendary filmmaker Henry Hampton. Hampton's contributions to television include AMERICA'S WAR ON POVERTY and the Peabody and Emmy Award-winning EYES ON THE PRIZE and AMERICAN EXPERIENCE "Malcolm X: Make It Plain." Before his death in 1998, Hampton wrote that it was his dream to celebrate the sweep and range of African-American religious experience "in the context of the nation's struggle to realize the goals of democracy and humanity, the heart and soul of America itself: who we are as a nation, what we believe as a people, and what we consider worth dying - and living - for."

"THIS FAR BY FAITH explores how African Americans fought for their spiritual traditions," says executive producer of The Faith Project, June Cross. "It describes how those traditions sustained them as they struggled for the right to express themselves, and how, out of that struggle, the very cultural, political, and social fabric of this nation was transformed. This Far by Faith started as the vision of one extraordinary man - Henry Hampton, the founder of Blackside Inc. He inspired so many of us-including the team which initially gathered to produce Faith after his death. Our faith in his vision meant we could not rest - we could not let his memory rest - until this series aired."

Each hour-long episode combines rich archival photography, compelling music, inspiring interviews, and vibrant recreations to shed light on a population that has confronted adversity and clung to hope since the first enslaved peoples arrived on these shores.

"THIS FAR BY FAITH explores the African-American community's ever-present faith in a higher power," adds Dante James, series executive producer for Blackside Inc. "A faith that has sustained black people and empowered them to change a society that for generations has challenged and often denied their humanity and dignity. This series makes clear that spirituality of any form can be a basis for truth and understanding - and a vehicle for all people to find common ground as human beings."

The first hour, "There Is a River," begins with the stories of Sojourner Truth and Denmark Vesey. Both were born into slavery, and both used the Gospel to shape their identities; however, both use their voices in very different ways - one chooses retribution and the other, engagement.

Hour two, "God Is a Negro," takes place after Emancipation, when minister-turned-journalist Henry McNeal Turner uses the black church to engage black people in the political realm. Denied access to the institutions of society at large, black religious communities found and maintain their own grammar schools, universities, banks, insurance companies, printing presses, nursing homes and hospitals.

Hour three, "Guide My Feet," begins in the Jim Crow era, when many African Americans migrated north. In Chicago, Thomas C. Dorsey, a pianist with blues singer Ma Rainey, melds his religious faith with his musical talent to invent what we know as gospel music. In present-day San Francisco, the Reverend Cecil Williams takes his religious faith and his compassion for all people to the streets and builds the Glide Memorial United Methodist Church congregation.

Hour four, "Freedom Faith," follows the Civil Rights movement in the years after World War II. Ordinary people risk their lives to challenge the sin of racism in American culture and strive to fulfill the nation's promise of "liberty and justice for all." For many, the belief that God intended all people to be equal and free sustains them in the struggle.

Hour five, "Inheritors of the Faith," plots the growth of the Nation of Islam under the leadership of Elijah Muhammad. After his death, his son, Warith, departs from his father's teachings and leads the Nation of Islam towards a more orthodox practice of Islam.

The series concludes with hour six, "Rise Up and Call Their Names," which chronicles a two-year interfaith, multiracial, multiethnic pilgrimage from Massachusetts to Africa - by way of Florida and the Caribbean - undertaken to heal the wounds of slavery. But is religious belief alone enough to hold the pilgrimage together?

Wednesday, June 18, 2003

My entire network was down yesterday so I had quite a bit of email to go through this morning. I found this one particularly amusing. We are always looking for a way to lose weight. Who knew it was this easy? Get ready to be on your way to a summer-ready body in no time!

Calorie Counter
It has been known for many years that sex was good exercise, but until now nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric content of different sexual activities. Now after "original and proprietary" research, they are proud to present, to the LOVE group, the results.

With her consent...............................12 Calories
Without her consent.......................2187 Calories

With both hands................................8 Calories
With one hand.................................12 Calories
With your teeth..............................485 Calories

With an erection...............................6 Calories
Without an erection.....................3315 Calories

Missionary.....................................12 Calories
69 lying down.................................78 Calories
69 standing up..............................812 Calories
Wheelbarrow................................216 Calories
Doggy Style.................................326 Calories
Italian chandelier.........................2912 Calories

Real.............................................112 Calories
Fake..........................................1315 Calories

Lying in bed hugging...........................18 Calories
Getting up immediately.......................36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately.......816 Calories

20-29 years....................................36 Calories
30-39 years....................................80 Calories
40-49 years..................................124 Calories
50-59 years................................1972 Calories
60-69 years................................7916 Calories
70 and over................................Results are still pending

Calmly........................................32 Calories
In a hurry.....................................98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door...........5218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door.........13,521 Calories

Friday, June 13, 2003

Happy Friday the 13th. A day supposedly of bad luck but no one really knows the origins. It's also the Feast of Epona day. I'm just happy it's Friday AND it's payday. I have a weekend of packing, meetings and eating ahead. Happy Father's Day to all the dads. I'm doing my last minute shopping tomorrow. For those of you in Chicago with nothing to do on Sunday from 3p - 6p, you should check out Real Men Cook. That's where I will be getting my eat on. The food is delicious and it's all prepared by men. It's a nice treat for all the ladies out there and even better one for the men. Nice Father's Day gift. Whatever you decide to do have a great weekend!
What will they think of next?

Wrigley eyes possibilities of anti-impotence gum
Wm. Wrigley Jr. in March received a patent for a chewing gum that delivers sildenafil citrate, the active ingredient in Pfizer's Viagra. In addition to the gum's anti-impotence abilities, it also can help patients suffering from weak stomachs or swallowing disorders. Wrigley likely would need FDA approval prior to marketing the gum, an FDA spokesperson said. MSNBC (6/12), Chicago Sun-Times (6/12), Chicago Tribune (6/13)

Tuesday, June 10, 2003

How cool is this. I actually have a tattoo of Nefertiti on my shoulder. This is a great find.

Mummy May Be Queen Nefertiti

A British Egyptologist announced Monday her team may have identified the mummy of Egyptian Queen Nefertiti, the wife and co-ruler with pharaoh Akhenaten and stepmother to legendary boy King Tutankhamun. Joann Fletcher, a mummification specialist from the University of York in England who led the expedition, said her team may have unearthed Nefertiti from a secret chamber in tomb KV35 in Egypt’s Valley of the Kings in Luxor.

Friday, June 06, 2003

I've officially made the switch to wireless. I couldn't justify having a land line and a cell phone and paying as much as I was for both. I spend more time away from home so the wireless phone is the more economical choice. Especially when I now have unlimited nights and weekend and nationwide long distance included with my plan for the same price as my previous plan. I feel much better now. With the way the economy is who has money to waste!
Top 10: Worst Reasons to Marry Her

For many, marriage is the final blossoming of a loving relationship. But before you take that giant leap, you need to be absolutely sure that you're doing it for all the right reasons.

Tuesday, June 03, 2003

I saw this article in the Chicago Tribune and thought it was worth sharing. How many of these people are in your office?

Mary Schmich
Office behavior the missing link to monkey house
Published May 30, 2003

Working in an office is like living in a submarine. You spend day after day, year after year, within sniffing distance of people who are not your intimates.

When you're on full alert, you understand that in this cramped public domain, you must protect your fellow travelers from your most primitive behavior. You know you are not allowed the full range of bodily expression a person may safely indulge in the privacy of a bedroom or a bathroom.

But all of us from time to time drift into our public private worlds, imagining that no one else can see, hear or smell us as we indulge our primal urges. From behind our imaginary shields we assault the senses and sensibilities of those around us.

Well, I don't. But, believe me, I know people who do.

I'm not talking about mere lapses of courtesy--the guy who speaks loudly on the phone about his prostate difficulties--but about the pure and simple gross stuff that proves we're not much removed from the baboons.

Baboon behavior in the office falls into some predictable categories, a few of which I will outline here. Feel free to turn right now to a more tasteful article. Or to contribute examples of your own.

The Gummy Guy. He snaps, crackles, pops and explodes gum bubbles so often and so loud that it makes not just your ears but your jaw hurt.

The Gummy Gal. She is very concerned with the environment, which is why she conserves her gum by sticking it between chews on whatever's handy. Her computer. Her Coke can. Your Coke can. Then she pops the hardened wad back in her mouth when she needs to chew again.

The Slurper. Who knew yogurt could be so noisy?

The Scratcher. His hands are in his armpits way too often. And that's when they're not somewhere even less attractive.

The Adjuster. You know what I mean.

The Foot Fetishist. She pads through the office barefoot. She returns to her desk and props her naked tootsies on her desk. Could she at least pull her skirt down?

The Foot Fetishist II. He does everything the barefoot gal does, only he does it in socks. Smelly, mismatched socks.

The Gassy Guy. You know what I mean.

Mr. Stinky. No, not the gassy guy. I mean Mr. Cool Cologne. Will someone please tell him that his after-shave doesn't get the girl, it gags her?

The Picker. She's got her finger in her nose.

The Picker II. She's got her fingers in her ear. The same fingers that were in her nose.

The Picker III. He can't keep his hands off that scab.

The Picker IV. You don't want to think about all the places his hands have been when he slips a fingernail between his teeth to ferret out some vegetable.

The Flushing Flosser. All of these baboon categories are based on true stories, but here's one verbatim: "This is so gross," says the teller, who can't wait to tell it. "There's this guy in the bathroom stall who flosses his teeth. You can hear it! Somebody flossing! In the stall! Enough of your efficiency, Mister!"

The Digger: He uses a push pin to excavate a wart, hoping his colleagues think the wart's a splinter. Honest, I am not making up any of these.

The Clipper. Snip, snip, snip. Some clippers stick to fingernails. Some stoop to clipping toes. Some make little piles of their products and leave them on display.

The Biter. Not as noisy as the clipper, but just as gross, especially when she litters her desk and the carpet with crescent moons. It's worse when she swallows.

The Plucker. When she's deep in thought, she plucks her hair out.

The Plucker II. Leaning into his computer screen, absorbed in thought, he plucks, plucks, plucks at his eyebrows. Or his mustache.

The Curious Sneezer. He honks and hacks into a Kleenex. And then checks it out.

The Smelly Luncher. The aroma of his meal sends those around him sickly lurching toward the bathroom.

The Literate Luncher. She dips her face into her food and shovels it in without taking her eyes off what she's reading.

The Nightmare. The person guilty of all the above.

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