There is an emerging writer I know who sends emails to people on him mailing list with his current stories. His name is Ricky McKnight. He has a readership of mostly women and occassionally he asks us questions which he uses to base stories from. Recently, he asked why do women say "We have to talk?" Based on the answers he got, the following story emerged. Enjoy!

(Please note, I have posted the story in the same way it was received. I have not proofed for grammer or spelling. I'm not an editor just an interested reader.)

WE NEED TO TALK
(OH LORD I’M IN TROUBLE NOW)

I’ve had my share of conflicts with other men. I’ve been in my share of bad situations at parties. I have friends that have been in the army, some have even been in combat, and most men I know, or are even remotely aware of aren’t so afraid of spiders, snakes, lizards, rats, or burglars, that they won’t kill one to protect their home. But let his woman tell him (WE NEED TO TALK), and watch him fall apart. Those words are so bad that as soon as we hear them, we call our best friends for some sympathy. The conversation will go something like this. “Hey man, my old lady just told me we need to talk.”

“Aw man, what did you do wrong.”

“I don’t know. I can’t remember anything, but I know it’s something.”

The reason we fear these words is because they usually precede one of several very unpleasant sentences.

1. I’m pregnant (right about the time he’s decided that she’s not the one he wants)
   
2. My best friend saw you with that other woman last night.
   
3. We’ve been living together long enough. My best girlfriend said she talked to her psychic, and this is the time we should be getting married.
   
4. Our daughter is pregnant
   
5. I had a little accident with the car, and the driver of the other car is going to sue us.
   
6. Mother is coming to stay with us for a little while.
   
7. You forgot my birthday, or anniversary.
   
8. You don’t love me anymore because you (A. Don’t sing me love songs) (B. don’t bring me flowers) (C. Don’t rub my feet) like you used to.
   
9. I’ve been seeing another man.
   
10. I saw you with that other woman.
    
11. You know what you did was wrong but let me tell you how wrong it was.
    
12. I want a divorce

And then women don’t understand when their men tell them they don’t feel like talking. We don’t feel like talking because every time we hear this, we know that we’re going to end up looking like a deer caught in the headlights of a car. Totally shocked, and unaware of what’s about to happen to us.

Ladies, if you would like a better conversation with us, try saying these words as a preface to things like

1. I love you
   
2. I paid off the visa bill
   
3. I just want to tell you how much you mean to me
   
4. Mother has decided not to come
   
5. I want to make mad passionate love to you all night long (Oh yeah not that’s a good one)
   
6. Yes you can go out with the boys tonight.
   
7. I promise not to interrupt the big game with a “We need to talk” moment.
   
8. I caught you looking at that other woman but I’m going to let it slide this time.
   
9. My girl said she saw you flirting but I don’t pay no attention to her.

THEN WATCH HOW WE RESPOND TO THE WORDS
(WE NEED TO TALK)